Hi guys, another weird week and I know that they’ll get weirder. Sodding interview on the 22nd as I was an idiot (No really) as I walked out my job due to me being allergic to working with a fuckwit of a manager. It threatened me three times with disciplinary as I questioned its total unfeasible dangerous requests and time management! No fucker has ever said no to this fuckwit. I knew if I didn’t need to speak to it, I would have been fine – But long story short – Questioned it, refused to do something fucking stupid, was threatened and then walked out!!
The reason I say this is because I would replace it for any of the next three!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Lost an auld workmate this week. It hurt a bit as I was very fond of the superbly named Murdoch Scott – Murdy to everyone that knew him.
Other commitments made it impossible for me to get to his funeral but I toasted him with a Guinness and his tipple of choice – Gin and Appletiser – And yup, it is as disgusting as it sounds.
R.I.P – Murdy!!!!
I was sad to read of Michael Madson’s death. I’m biased, but thought that his best work was with Tarantino. This was another actor who should have got an Oscar for one scene in Reservoir Dogs. His wee boogie as he tortured the cop was pure sadism. ‘Stuck In The Middle With You’ by ‘Stealers Wheel was one of my first two singles that I bought as a kid – The other one was ‘See My Baby Jive’ by ‘Wizard’.
Michael Madsen also brought life to the Assasin Bud in ‘Kill Bill’ – Loved the irony when he was burying ‘The Bride’ alive, when he reckoned she deserved her revenge.
I can’t remember his character’s name in ‘The Hateful Eight’ so I think I know what I’ll be watching tonight!
R.I.P. – Michael Madsen.
I’m not the greatest of football fans but I do enjoy watching. So a finally piece of tragic news and that was the death of Diogo Jota who played for Liverpool. Him and his brother were killed in a car crash.
He was a brilliant player and with what I’ve read, he seems to have been one of the good guys.
Hope the two boys R.I.P!!
I don’t think I’ve ever started one of these with three deaths and one that I continually wish!!! But ironically that’s what life is all about. It doesn’t matter how much money you amass, how successful you are – Death is the great leveller. It makes not one bit of difference when our millionaire government officials deem that it will help to give the poorest in society a few extra quid!!
I still can’t see the logic of a system where the richest make decisions on the poorest.
Also, we wish to extend all our sympathies to all those people who have been affected by the Texas Floods. There are no words.
Onto this week’s stories.
We had two new folks, two fourth timers, and a returner.
To our new writers, we send them a very warm welcome. Hope they have more for us very soon.
As always, our initial comments follow.
Evan Hale was our first new writer and he got us up and running with, ‘The Moment.’
‘If the Mona Lisa thinks I’m sure she will be a bit cynical by now.’
‘A novel idea executed brilliantly.’
‘A sentient and speaking portrait. Evan did superbly well to get this over the line – It’s something that we don’t normally go for.’
Newbie number two was next up on Tuesday. Christie Cochrell had ‘The Recompense’ showcased.
‘I’m always glad to read a comeuppance story.’
‘Very well done.’
‘The writing is excellent.’
This surprised me, I thought Gerry Coleman had many more but his excellent daily comments are what is confusing me. This was entitled, ‘Snakes In The Garden’ and was on the site on Wednesday.
‘Some quirky and funny lines in this.’
‘Gerry is one of the best at writing about this era!’
‘There was something creepy about the Father Lynche character.’
On Thursday the stage was set for T.C. Barrera’s return with, ‘Directions From Simi to Long Beach And All The Life In-between.’
‘The tone was spot on.’
‘Totally manic.’
‘Super writing!!’
Matthew J. Richardson had his fourth story for us called, ‘The Silver Lined Ridge.’ This was published on Friday.
‘Some really well balanced touches throughout.’
‘I’ll never understand mountain climbers!!’
‘It’s great to see Matthew back – He needs more in his back-catalogue!!’
That’s us for another week.
Thanks to all involved, you all know who you are. But we do sometimes come up a wee bit light with a simple thanks. Those who know who they were from the last sentence, this doesn’t apply!!!
Just had a look at the paper before I finished this off. Unlike the folks I mentioned at the beginning, (Bar one!!) there will be no tears from me for norman tebbit – He was in thatchers cabinet. This was the man that stated the unemployed should get on their bikes and get a job. That was a tad ironic as it was his fuehrer and the likes of them who decimated the Scottish, North Of England, Ireland and Wales Workforce by around twenty two percent!!!!
I also read with amusement that after forty four years of a drinks ban (Unless in the hospitality suites) that supporters in Scotland can now have a few pints. They have chosen Ayr United!! Go figure!! I read that a lucky sixty-six fans can enjoy four pints of Moretti before the game and one at half time…Now the game is against Arbroath and then Forfar (Yep folks you will need to look them all up!!) I have two observations about this – I wonder how much the Moretti will cost and why the fuck did they pick Moretti?? Tennants would have been the natural choice. Secondly, those sixty six folks will more or less be the whole crowd so once they have downed their five pints, they will fuck off at half-time to find a pub for a few haufs as they will now be in the notion!!!!
And before I set up a piece of music, I’d like to repeat a joke I read which I hadn’t heard before and as we are Literally Stories, I reckon this is a clever literal joke that has to be read!!!! –
A priest, an Imam and a Rabbit walk into a clinic to donate blood. The Rabbit says, ‘Nurse, I think I’m a Type-O.
Now I do go off on tangents, so be patient.
I heard the amazing voice of Dobie Gray singing ‘In Your Lovin’ Arms’ (A most melodic fellow is Mr Gray) and I nearly put that on. But I remembered Etta James version. Most folks merit Ella Fitzgerald but I think Etta James blows her out the water. (Only my opinion) So when I thought on Etta, the songs, ‘I’d Rather Go Blind’, ‘I only Want To Make Love To You’ and without a doubt – ‘At Last’ Came rushing to me! However, I thought of this one as I’m not sure if it’s so well known but by fuck does it show the range she has. (Not as much as ‘At Last’, I’ll admit but I wanted to go for something that may be that wee bit obscure.)
I give you – ‘Almost Persuader.’
Immage: A pint of beer from pixabay.com
literally stories 
Hello Hugh
Yes Michael Madsen (only six months older than I) dying was a sad event. But he lived. Brilliant in Dogs and Kill Bill.
But the brother soccer players is sadder because a simple mistake on the highway gives parents two dead children. Nothing makes sense. Not “anymore,” but never. And I now raise a cup to your friend as well.
Etta James was brilliant. She lived too, but maybe survived is a better term there.
Great post!
Leila
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Hi Leila,
Mr Quentin really did get the best out of some of the more seasoned actors. Kirk Russell, Travolta, Dern, Jackson, Thurman and I hate to say it but even Di Crapio!!
Shit!! You could mention them all. I don’t think there was a bad performance amongst them…Oh wait a minute – Ironically, Quentin himself!!!
I reckon Lamborghini will be shitting themselves. If it comes out that the fire was a fault fuck knows how much they will be sued for. Them shitting themselves shows that loss of money is more of a worry than lost life. It’s some world we live in!!
Thanks as always!!
Hugh
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Hi Hugh
Forgot to mention that the Rabbit joke made me look a tad ignorant to myself for about five seconds. That’s a great print joke indeed.
Jamesetta was Etta’s first name. A move of genius working a good sounding stage name from it!
Leils
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Etta James is one of the greats. Goes back to the mid fifties at least. “Dance With Me Henry” was a cleaned up version of “Work With Me Annie” where work meant sweaty, naked activities. She was supposed to be the mixed race result of a meeting between Minnesota Fats and her mother.
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Hi Doug,
Cheers ma man…I hadn’t heard that song and checked it out. Brilliant vocals and I loved the saxophone inclusion!!!
Stay happy and healthy my interesting friend!!
Say Hello to Sharon!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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I think the original “Work With Me Annie” was by Hank Ballard And The Midnighters. It was not considered appropriate for white radio. There was a series of Annie songs which included “Annie Had A Baby” proabably from the “work”. All from my unreliable memory.
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Yep, when your line manager becomes a dictator it is time for a regime change. Best of luck.
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Hi James,
When all this Micro-Management shite came out it undermined the rest of the staff. What we have left is those bastards that are OCD, Obnoxious, Arrogant and have a superiority complex!!
I’ve worked for forty two years and all I have seen is management getting worse!!!
I am totally disillusioned and don’t expect anything different if I get anything else!!
Thanks as always my fine friend – It’s always a pleasure to see you around the site.
Look after you and yours.
Hugh
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Hi, Hugh, sorry to hear about your workplace consternation and loss of your friend. You told me in an an email a few years ago that your work on LS was one of the things that kept you going, so thankfully that’s still at full speed ahead.
Call me petty, but when I comment on a story, I usually check back to see if the writer has in some way acknowledged the comment.
There’s a YouTube video with Etta James, Willie Dixon, BB King, Koko Taylor and several others performing at the Grammies several years ago. Saying it’s fantastic is an understatement.
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Hi Dave,
Yep the site is still keeping me relatively sane!! Sadly my working life has chipped away at any form of normality!! If I could get away with killing folks, there would be a few of my ex-managers buried!!!!!
And your not petty – We do the same thing for all the stories!!
I’d never seen that clip before. Man, there was some talent on that stage. I loved the inclusion of Robert Cray.
Thanks as always my fine friend.
All my very best to you and yours.
Hugh
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Souns to me that you’re best away from that job. I hope you find something that suits you better or – just get that big win on whatever! Sorry about Murdoch and yes, it’s sad about the young footballers. Ian and I were talking about it and his fate was sealed pretty much the first time someone at his school said – He’s pretty good that lad. Your heart breaks for the parents and his new wife. They have laid a carpet of floral tributes at Anfield, which is lovely in its way, but it doesn’t bring him back.
that rabbit made me spurt water on my keyboard so – thanks for that! dd
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Hi Diane,
The first home game of the season will be emotional. The supporters are brilliant and you can feel their love for the club and their players. I think I will avoid listening if they start to sing, ‘You’ll Never Walk Alone’!!
That joke did make me laugh and it is weird that it is better if it’s read. (Obvious really but there are not many jokes that can’t be enhanced by the timing of a comic!)
Thanks as always for your support and help!
Hugh
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Sorry to hear about the job Hugh – in my past life I had to deal with some many petty tyrants like that. Agree with you about Madsen. And Tebbitt. Anyway, as the saying goes, don’t let the bastards … you know the rest!
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Hi Steven,
I wouldn’t have felt so bad if I could have thrown a punch. (Not with the women though, I’d maybe only have killed their spouses – I judge those guys for being with them!!!!!)
‘Spitting Image’ handled thatchers cabinet with some of the disrespect it deserved!!!
Thanks as always my fine friend.
Hugh
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Wonderful rabbit joke, Hugh! And wonderful Etta James clip: ‘I’d rather go blind’ will always be on my playlist, but I’d never heard her do ‘Almost Persuaded.’
Commiserations on the job, for my money it’s always got to be the manager’s fault. Years ago, I worked for a boss who never had an argument a worker. If she agreed with you, she’d say ‘Yes.’ If she didn’t, she’d say ‘Let me think about it.’ After a bit, you’d know it really meant ‘No, piss off’, but it still worked.
bw Mick
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Hi Mick,
Billy Connolly once said, ‘If anyone shows any inclination on becoming a politician this should ban them from ever doing so.’
I think the same should apply to management!
I can’t count how many managers I’ve worked with, it’s dozens, maybe more and I only have ever had genuine respect for three!!
Thanks as always for your input and interest – Much appreciated!
All my very best to you and yours.
Hugh
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Hi Hugh!
Thanks for the song, I don’t think it’s possible to pack any more soulful emotion into one voice than Etta James does into hers. She’s an artist who’s broken my heart before (in the good way) in the past, but it’s been a long time. It was great to be reminded of her and her work this morning, so thank you! I also like how this song is a story song therefore perfect for Literally Stories.
Sorry to hear about your troubles and struggles at work, and glad to know that you have the strength of personality to not take too much shit from the powers that be, so to speak, who think they have the right to tell the rest of us what we should and shouldn’t be doing. FAR TOO MANY people in this world are far too willing to roll over and play dead when any of the local authoritarians who preside over them order them to do so. We need more manly men like you who have the strength and bravery to tell them to go f- themselves. And for the ladies, you can do the same except you don’t have to be manly. The struggle for our time, no matter who you are, is preserving your dignity in the face of a world that wants to take it away.
You have a great and rebellious, truly Scottish spirit, Hugh!
Dale
PS, Didn’t know Michael Madsen had passed on but you’re right, he was a great Chicago actor whose performances, especially with Tarantino, are etched into one’s memory banks…
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Hi Dale,
I’m all sugar or all shite. I will do my best and work hard no matter what the job. However I won’t take being bullied, threats, being shouted at, arrogance or stupidity. HAH!! That’s why I’m looking for another job at this age!!!
The Scottish spirit is pride in being proud. What that means is you get nowhere but at least you can look yourself in the mirror!!
As I mentioned above – Tarantino really does get the best out of the actors he works with!!
Thanks as always my fine friend.
It is a joy to read your thoughts and observations!!
Hugh
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Hugh!
So much to do, I took your Rabbit Joke to the brewery. The bartender today was a poet. A good one, as opposed to ‘a poet.’ The rabbit, no problem for her! We slobbered over it in our beers. She drinks on the job. It’s why I go there. We took a kind of rabbit / rabbi survey.
No amount of intelligence or sobriety could predict success among the customers. The joke only works if you gaze inside some lurking tautology at your core or have a doubleness about you. And that ain’t so many.
It’s a perfect I.Q. test, except the type of intelligence it measures isn’t clear. The most jerky of my comrades got it no problem, while the most erudite had no idea what I was saying.
Today, I learned a lot about you! And my friends! Who is you’re best mate: Rabbit or Rabbi? For me, it’s my bartender. — gerry
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Hi Gerry,
I have a great respect for bartenders. There have been many of them throughout the years who have looked out for me. When I walked out my job the only person who sent us a text to see how we were doing was Claire from my local. (Not sure if it was out of concern or that her takings were down!!)
That joke is as good as I’ve heard. What is funnier is watching folks read it. Some frown, some laugh, some frown and then laugh and others look puzzled.
Not sure if it would work if anyone sent it as text-speak!!!
Hope all is well with you my fine friend.
Thanks as always, your input into the site is much appreciated!!!
Hugh
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A Rabbi, A Pastor, and a Bishop walk into a bar. The bartender says “Is this some kind of joke?”
Could have been a Polish guy, a Mexican, and an Irish man.
I aways quit before I was fired. I didn’t want to have the satisfaction.
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