Jamie was a very successful killer.
He considered his intellect to be slightly below average but he knew he’d always had a shit load of luck and no conscience.
He was a bit insulting towards himself. He could function without drawing attention to himself but he believed that it was his whims that got him and more importantly, looked after him.
Right place, right time, obvious blame being pointed at those who would or could have done it, that sort of thing.
None of the killing was ever planned. He believed planning was a trail, so he just fell into wherever his fancy took him. He didn’t think about it until he realised who he wanted to kill and that was just a few minutes before.
Jamie never went near his own back yard, he never touched his enemies and he looked where very few people were.
He considered stopping at six.
Jamie reckoned that was a fair number. And besides, anonymity and not being spotted was becoming difficult. He knew that in a few years it would be impossible. He saw the cameras going up, he read about the advances.
He never looked to those around that number, he just decided that would be enough.
Jamie did what others should have done and should now follow. He said nothing. He did nothing. He never returned. But the problem was, how did he get his kicks? This annoyed him for a few years and the temptation was always there. But Jamie knew not to partake. He knew that the next one would have fucked him, so he seethed in private.
It took a long while for him to realise that his torment was his release. One day over poached eggs, it came to him, he realised what he had been looking for.
He decided to wallow in the not being caught.
That meant that every day that there was no knock at the door, he could immerse himself in the success of his crimes.
Jamie enjoyed this.
He laughed at those who couldn’t keep their faces shut. Unlike him and a secret never to be told.
Jamie mocked the police, who had, as far as he was aware, closed the cases on each of his six murders.
One twat even confessed to two. Jamie worried about people.
It took a few years, but he decided on number seven.
No note.
No plan.
Just a clean kill.
Jamie showed the determination that he always had as he slit his own throat deep and true.
A tree branch with a mischief of magpies in conversation.
literally stories 
Hugh
A non legend seeking serial killer who did it for the love of his art is truly a disturbing idea. There might be all kinds of Jamies out there and we’ll never know it! But I think he would be quite rare, a true artist among unskilled hacks (pun intended). And his lament over the “advances” is like a gunfighter sadly watching the lawless old west become slowly tamed.
The ending is brilliant, fitting and yet caught me off guard. Amazing work in so few words!
Leila
LikeLike
Hi Leila,
Thanks so much for the kind words and all your support!!
I’ve always thought that human nature, arrogance and those that ‘couldnae haud their water’ are the reasons that so many folks get caught. They want to draw attention to themselves when attention is the last thing that they should ever seek.
I wonder if the most successful shoplifter in the world is living in The Bahamas off their spoils – But the question would be, could they trust who they were selling too???
Maybe they are just a hoarder and will only be discovered when they die?? In a weird way, being lonely and having no-one in your life can lead to criminal success!!!
Thanks again!!!
Hugh
LikeLike
This is very dark and disturbing and the timing is excellent. Is it bad of me to have just a tiny feeling of sympathy for him – it is, isn’t it? Another great story from the keyboard of Hugh Cron – Thanks – dd
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hi Diane,
It’s interesting you mention sympathy. I’m not sure how I felt about him as a character. I think the reason that can come across a tiny bit is simply because we don’t learn much about victims.
I’m not sure why but it was more his single-mindedness that I wanted to get across.
Thanks as always for your years (HAH! Going into decades now) of advice and support!!
Hugh
LikeLike
A nice, quick punch of a story with a twist. I liked it!
LikeLike
Hi Tim,
Thanks so much!!
The stories that become punchy with a twist normally do so by their own accord. When you overthink a plot or circumstance, it can come across as contrived.
I’m glad you found it to be the way you did.
All the very best my fine friend.
Oh – And I hope you have more for us very soon.
Hugh
LikeLike
Dear Hugh
This is nothing short of a fast and accurate re-invention of the crime story that is the right sort of corrective during a Holiday Season nauseatingly filled with Consumerism and Commercialization of the Human Spirit!
The language in this piece is quite masterfully handled, so much so that a few less careful readers will even miss it (it might go over some heads).
“He seethed in private,” “he realized what he had been looking for,” “he decided to wallow in the not being caught,” “he could immerse himself in the success of his crimes,” “Jamie worried about people,” are a few examples of the fast and simple, and accurate, language, that gives the careful reader insights and windows into the private minds (yes, minds, not mind, singular) of this conscienceless killer.
Coming from a part of the Midwest that has produced more famous serial killers than anywhere else in the US except for (perhaps) the Northwest, this story hits home. Also, it was Hemingway himself who virtually started modern crime writing, especially with his 3,000-word short story “The Killers” that influenced Dashiell Hammet and Sam Spade, Raymond Chandler and Philip Marlowe, and a million Hollywood movies including some that starred Bogart.
Your serial killer is an anonymous nihilist who appears to live completely apart from a society he doesn’t understand and a world that will KILL him when/if it can. (No matter what he’s done, he himself, like all humans, probably doesn’t want TO BE KILLED, which may be one reason he’s doing it himself).
The phenomenon of the serial killer, and the mass shooter, in the modern world is one that obviously needs to be looked at, because it exists so far-flung and so predominantly.
Dostoevsky was famous for writing about KILLERS, but killers who were wildly attractive as characters, killers who convinced you that they, too, were (and are) human, and Alfred Hitchcock took off from Dostoevsky (and Dostoevsky’s crime and punishment).
“Magpie” (one of Shakespeare’s nicknames) also reminds me a little bit (in a good way) of “The Tell-tale Heart,” by Edgar Allan Poe.
Hugh, you have a way of embracing outsider characters that no one else would look at in a human way, and showing their humanity, along with the horror! That is a true fiction writer’s gift that should be appreciated, and applauded, by all! I would also like to recommend your other stories on the site to anyone reading this. Your characters are wide, various, and REAL.
Jesus said, in the Sermon on the Mount, “Love your enemies.” NOT JUST YOUR NEIGHBORS, BUT YOUR ENEMIES, TOO!!!! Writing like this puts forth the most radical compassion us humans are capable of, in an unflinching way. That’s a Christmas gift I’m grateful to receive!! Thank you, Hugh!
Dale
LikeLike
Hi Dale,
Your thoughtful and thought-provoking comments are always a joy to read!!
Ah – The serial killer!! It’s so sad that most of us can rhyme them off but rarely have a clear recognition of their victims. (Not sure what that says about us?? Maybe that humanity is out-weighed by curiosity???)
Your mention of Poe makes me wonder if you ever saw the 2023 (I think) mini-series starring Bruce Greenwood? It was an interesting take. It reminded me a wee bit of the brilliant performance of Cumberbatch as Sherlock. (Una Stubbs was superb.)
I have read both Poe and Conan Doyle but as I’ve mentioned before, I am no student of ‘The Classics’ I don’t know them well enough to make any real judgement but all I can say is I found both the dramatisations very interesting.
Your comment about me being able to embrace outside characters – I reckon I just step back and I try for my views never to bleed into any character or more importantly, the narrative,
When I worked in the hostels, there were residents I had a lot of time for and some that I would have happily shot!! The trick was, neither of them ever knew!! That gave me a grounding and that is why, I reckon, I can look, comment and write from a non-judgemental distance.
Thanks so much for the word ‘Real’. That and ‘Believable’ when I’m dealing with something I have no experience of are the two greatest compliments anyone can give me!!
A huge thanks Dale!! – Your interaction in the site is much appreciated. All who comment, write and read, keep the site alive and that wee bit different!!
Stay happy, healthy and inspired my fine friend!!!
Hugh
LikeLike
Hugh
Sometimes your stories seem to have an element of The Brothers Grimm or Hans Christian Anderson about them; in the first case the grim part of the Grimms’ work often comes through (in a very good way), in the second case it’s kind of like a reality function of the fairy tale turned into a modern reaction-formation to things our modern world has created all around us and we have to deal with one way or another if we’re honest! All of which is to say that I sometimes seem to detect an almost MYTHIC aspect to your stories that’s there beneath the REALITY aspect/surface, and it gives your tales another added layer of punch and brio. For sure!!!!!!!!! And The Brothers Grimm could do so much in so few words….A knife instead of a gun or some other more “modern” method at the end of “Magpie” is one example….Also:
I used the term Negative Capability earlier in the week in regard to Leila’s “Nora in Five Acts,” and would like to re-apply the term here in regard to your work. The term comes from the poet John Keats (author of “Ode on a Grecian Urn” etc) in a letter to someone, wherein he was describing Shakespeare’s work (and other good poets). It sounds “negative” at first, but actually is one of the most POSITIVE qualities a writer (or a human) can possess. It means many, many different things from different perspectives in the context of how Keats used it in his letter, but one of the main things it means is that THE WRITER IS ABLE TO REFRAIN FROM JUDGING OTHERS in a small-minded way…A writer has NEGATIVE CAPABILITY when she/he can step back from the people she/he creates, and see them whole, without applying too much personal opinion or self-righteous “morality,” for example. Fiction is about humans first and foremost (and dogs like Boo) and if a writer does NOT have enough Negative Capability, their characters will seem like little more than thinly veiled walking/talking opinions, straw men and women, or devices stolen from television, movies, or “the news” in order to titillate ones’ self or merely “amuse” the reader or other not-so-noble goals.
There’s something almost inexpressibly OBJECTIVE about your work that displays the Negative Capability factor to a high degree. That fact that you yourself can attribute this clear quality to experiences in your own life only makes the truth of it all that much more compelling, like your list of the lost that you keep.
Negative Capability is also (among many other things) about receiving signs or signals from the REAL world and being able to translate them to the page/screen (or the screen page) instead of merely inhabiting a self-referential, disconnected fantasy. Another hallmark of your stories! One of the problems with computer games (and I know very little about them on a literal level, almost nothing in fact, because they bore the living hell out of me) is that they DO ALL THE WORK for the person involved with them….one’s own imagination isn’t asked to do very much in such contexts. The brain (and soul) of the “player” is turned over to the “imagination” (so-called) of the machine…and the soul dies. Your stories ask the reader to bring her imagination to the context and the characters and that is a truly ARTISTIC technique.
YOUR classics seem to be Roald Dahl and The Brothers Grimm, among others, and those are all classics, so it seems you do read the classics that matter for you as a writer, and in so many ways that’s all that matters for a writer, so thank you!
Dale
LikeLike
PS Hugh,
I also want to add that every single time you’ve read one of Leila’s stories, you’ve been reading the classics of the future!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SHE will help elevate all of us who remain true to her vision/s in the end.
(Footfallfollowers are just one spooky example…)
D.W.B.
12/20/2024 CE……….(I like dating stuff around XMAS time)…..
LikeLike
lovely final line, Hugh. A killer so cold that he thought nothing of murdering himself.
LikeLike
Hi Alex,
Cheers my fine friend.
Yep, I wonder how many Personality Disorders could be spotted or considered with him!!!
Hope all is well with you my fine friend.
Hugh
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yikes! I didn’t see that coming. Maybe he had a bit of a guilty conscience after all. Or maybe the seventh victim was inevitable all along. A good psychological horror story and character portrayal of evil.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hi David,
I always feel privileged when I see a comment from you next to one of my stories.
I think the thing about surprise endings is a lot of times they surprise the writer. If they don’t then someone has already considered the ending!!
All my very best to you and yours!!!
Hugh
LikeLiked by 1 person
‘. . . wherever his fancy took him . . .’ It’s that tone of casual detachment does it. Perhaps scariest of all, it chimes a little with the case of the so-called ‘Crossbow Killer’ – who similarly took up serial killing as a kind of ‘career choice’. The likes of Jamie would doubtless savour a line like ‘I shot a man in Reno/Just to watch him die’. And the sheer mercilessness of that “No note”. Kind of chillingly brilliant, the whole piece.
Geraint
LikeLike
Geraint
The Cash quote is perfect. The Man in Black had a sympathy for outsiders of any kind that’s hard to excel. He was also a poet, much more of a poet than most folks give him credit for. Looking forward to your work forthcoming tomorrow!!
Dale
LikeLike
Thanks so much Geraint.
I’ll take ‘chilling’ any day!!
When you mentioned tone it made me think on what I’ve said a few times. I’m not sure if I can go out my way to write a specific tone. However once I’ve the story typed up, it’s easy for me to spot what doesn’t sound right.
It’s one of those weird writing ‘skills that isn’t as much a ‘skill’, just a continuance.
Stay happy, healthy and inspired!!
All the very best.
Hugh
LikeLike
Hi Dale,
Negative Capability is something that I’ve never heard of…It’s very thought provoking and makes me think on why I am the way I am. And if I am the way I am, what caused me to be that way…Was it a conscious choice, and if it was, when did that happen, was it inherited or was it something that I learnt, either as a coping mechanism, or simply as an extension of the whatever???
Sometimes there ain’t any point in thinking – Just accept!!!
I adore Grimms, just bought a book when we were on holiday and will read through it. One of the versions of their book that Gwen bought me years back was set out like a comic book and I keep going back to it. That could be a way to get kids interested…Hopefully but sadly, probably not!
My favourite story by the Brothers is their take (??) on ‘Godfather Death’
I just love the idea that the father chose Death to be the Godfather of his child because ‘Death doesn’t discriminate’ – So true…That is the leveller of all our forms of life!!!
I agree about the visual outcome of the ‘Gamer’ No conscious thought, just finger pressing adrenaline rush. I am not slagging it off, everyone to their own, it’s just that I don’t understand. My last effort at these sort of games was ‘Space Invaders’ and I was shite. Maybe that was why I was never hooked, I was bored with my incompetence!!!
…And yep, Leila is that bit special. The ease that she writes the complexities of her stories and her imagination and how she puts all this across is pretty much awe inspiring!!!!!
Thanks so much my fine friend, as always, you gave me so much to think on!!!!
Hugh
LikeLike
Hugh!
Have you ever heard the albums Billy Bragg did with Wilco where they recorded Woodie Guthrie songs from unpublished material Guthrie left at his death? MERMAID AVENUE….these are some of my favorite albums of all time. I used to live down the street from Jeff Tweedy, Wilco’s singer…saw him wandering around town a few times.
Dale
LikeLiked by 1 person
I did not see the ending coming. It’s set up so that the reader thinks that number seven would be another victim – not him. Also loops back nicely to his “never get caught” passion. Now, there will never be a knock at the door. Nicely done!
LikeLike
I did not see the ending coming. It’s set up so that the reader thinks that number seven would be another victim – not him. Also loops back nicely to his “never get caught” passion. Now, there will never be a knock at the door. Nicely done!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hi there,
Many thanks for the kind words, they are much appreciated!!
There must be many a person worried every time there is a knock at the door for so many reasons!!
All the very best for the New Year.
Hugh
LikeLike
I very much liked the happy ending! Just disappointed this waste of skin didn’t think of this sooner. You write about nasty folk very clearly. Funny thing is someone in a plane who bombs a city and kills random people is seen as being in a completely different situation. And I guess it is, in a way. I do know someone who knew someone who slit his own throat, but apparently it was a self-sacrifice to save the world. Motive is key.
LikeLike
Hi Harrison,
Thanks so much for the comments, they are much appreciated.
Reasons or motives are interesting. Some explain, some are excuse and to be honest, depending on the crime, some of them, no matter what, shouldn’t matter.
Hope the year is good to you my fine friend.
Hugh
LikeLike
‘One day over poached eggs…’ – bloody genius! This piece has a superb balance between the sinister and the banal which makes it all the more sinister if that makes sense. And this all made Jamie feel real and that’s something you always succeed so well in your writing – it always feels very true.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hi Paul,
Thanks so much!!
I am always delighted when someone states that my witterings come across as realistic or true, that is all I can ask for when dealing with something I have no actual experience of.
…And I’ll take sinister if I’m writing those types. In fact I would take it for romance too!!!
It’s great to see you back. Hope you are getting the new house in order and all is well with you and yours!!
Hugh
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank Hugh – good to be back and catching up. All very well my end.
LikeLiked by 1 person