Week 424 – Post-it’s, 100 Fucking Million (Watch this space) And Let’s Give Mr Kluger A Nod To One Over The Forty Nine!

I decided to clear out my desk today. There is a problem as I have so many notes scribbled down for whatever reasons. At the time of writing them, I thought that they were the beginnings of some of the greatest ideas in the world, now that I look at them I think, ‘What the fuck was I on?’ I will type out the shite that I’m looking at:

‘Tuna and seaweed (All eaten)’ – I haven’t a fucking clue what was going on there!!!

‘Social commentary can’t ban what we would now’ – Ooookaaayyy! Maybe that’s deep. Or maybe I was on the Absinthe??

‘Writing down instructions for an alien to make a cup of coffee…Could this be done in under a thousand words’ – Why? Just why?

‘Chucklingly’ – Now this one I understand – It’s another fucking adverb that I hate.

‘Sailor- Glass Of Champagne / Them – Here Comes The Night – I remember this, it was about songs that I thought were done by different groups as in ‘Roxy Music’ for ‘Sailor’ and ‘The Rolling Stones’ for ‘Them.’

‘An admittedly horny man against an admittedly horny woman, is there ridicule or a happy ending’ – Shit I could have used that!

‘Whisky, Vodka, Advocaat’ – I reckon that was my breakfast menu.

‘Hidden gems like: Toast and tomato, Advocaat, Dairy Crunch, The remake of Shangri-la staring Peter Finch (Fuck me I must have been on drugs!) and the song ‘Doctor, Doctor’ by ‘The Thompson Twins. – This is quite obvious, I was wanting to write something on hidden gems but ran out like a Pound Shop battery!

‘Why do cats hate shut doors’ – I think I was going to write something about cats being in league with the power companies so a sort of evil leads evil article.

‘Noiselessly’ – Yep another cunting adverb that I hate!! What a fucking pointless word used pointlessly!!! (That’s for you Daisy!!)

‘Muhammad Ali, Yul Brynner, Jamie Lee Curtis, Jonny Depp, Paul Newman, Gina Lollobrigida, Eric Schweig, Audrey Hepburn, Lawrence Olivier, Henry Caville, Tom Hardy, Tony Curtis, Burt Reynolds, Chris Hemsworth and Animal from the Muppets’ – Mmmm, this made me think! And then I realised, this list was in Gwen’s writing so I reckon it is who she thinks about to make me even sufferable! Sarky bitch!! But to be fair…I understand!

‘Renee Zellweger – Me, Myself And Irene’ / Jerry Maguire / Brigitte Jones Diary’ – Oh fuck! I’m a bit behind! This was for a posting that Leila did regarding films you loved with actors you hated! Sorry Leila, I know that it is a bit late but here you go!

‘¼ past Kincaidston /1/4 to Dalrymple’ – That’s a bus timetable. But it’s probably changed by now. Oh and my fucking bus to my work has went up fifty pence!

I’m not typing this! It was the quiz that I wrote for last years anniversary and no-one asked me for the answers – Like the Murphy’s I’m not bitter!!

‘If I was thirty years younger…She’d still ignore me!’ – I think I used this! If so – Answers on a postcard!

Now there’s a line that I won’t divulge!!! I can really use that! All I need is a fucking story to go around it!!!!

‘-£300’ – Ah, that is my income for the month!

‘Paris, Texas’ – I haven’t a Scooby why I wrote that! Again – Answers on a postcard. For all of you young folks out there, ask your great gran what a postcard was!

‘I just called to say, ‘Where’s ma dug’ / I’m the leader, I’m the leader, I’m the leader of The Groovy Gang I am (Check out ‘Only Fools And Horses of the same name’) / Reasons To Be Cheerful DLA / Everything I Do, I Do For 26 weeks / Again, Again And Again we’ll play the same chords (I don’t like this one as I love The Quo! / Teenage Rampage, on the *Buckie. – Yep I was fucking about with titles and lyrics.

Well that’s my desk cleared out and I’m now fucked for ideas!

All I have left is my hit list and the list of music I want to post. (The hit list is worryingly long!)

Okay onto this week’s stories.

We had two new writers a returner, a third timer and a milestone maker. (I’ll come to that)

As always our initial comments follow.

And to our new folks, we welcome them and hope they continue to submit. Most importantly, we want them to have fun on the site.

Our first new writer was Chloe Price with ‘Margery’

‘I’m sure that Chloe has either studied this time in history or has an interest in it. The knowledge comes shining through.’

‘So well written.’

‘Interesting. The circumstances are dealt with superbly.’

From first to second!

On Tuesday we welcomed R.R. Setari to the site with her story, ‘The Levite’

‘This has an energy all of its own.’

‘Brilliant pace.’

‘The story takes you along with it.’

Wednesday turned up after Tuesday and we had the returning Rob O’Keefe with ‘Gravity Hill’

‘I like the cop’s attitude.’

‘Really good writing.’

‘An enjoyable tale.’

I need a wee spiel for Thursday’s author, the enigmatic Adam Kluger.

Adam has been with us when we were just a year old in 2015 and has regularly submitted since then. He is a talented fellow whose art is as interesting as his stories and both are as interesting as himself!.

I have said on many occasions that Adam is a master of the few word discipline and he can get across his stories in very few words. The other thing that we all adore about him is how he just tells us enough back story for us to transform those smidgins into a clear idea on what he is giving us.

I cannot tell you how much I respect and admire the skill that Adam writes with!

Anyhow, the reason for the spiel is Adam is now only the fifth (I think??) writer who has reached the half century.

Many congratulations our fine friend!!

‘Don’t Worry, We’ve Got You’ was story number 50 for the gentleman that is Mr Kluger, which was published on Thursday.

‘Adam’s usual slant that makes sense in confusion.’

‘Cleverly done.’

‘I didn’t see the twist coming.’

On Friday we had J. Bradley Minnick for his third outing with, ‘You’ll Never Understand The Circumstances That Brought You To This Moment.’

‘I enjoyed reading this.’

‘I like this. It reminds me of some of Tom Sheehans work. (That is high praise indeed!)

‘Beautifully written.’

The round up is now done.

Just the usual things guys.

Check out previous Sunday Posts for examples of features that we are looking for. (Auld Author / The Sunday Whatever / Re-run) and please contact us if you want to get involved with any of them.

As always – Keep the comments coming! It makes our morning if we open up the site and see half a dozen or so comments hot off your laptops!

And writers, please, if someone comments, a wee thanks goes a long way!

Just to finish!!

Two of the most sickening things I’ve read over the last week, I wish to pass on. First off (I reckon this is only in Scotland) Subway, in celebration of nailing a very short fictional character to a big dodd of wood, decided to make a Cadbury’s Cream Egg melt – Yummy!

And secondly, even though I have spontaneously vomited every time I think on this, I sure as fuck hope this quote is true – Stormy Daniels, when asked about facing Donald Trump in court, she said, ‘I’ve seen him naked, seeing him in court will be a breeze.’

…Okay I changed it a wee bit as I thought ‘Stormy’ and ‘breeze’ worked!!! But you get the gist!

*Buckie – Buckfast Tonic Wine also known as: Commotion Lotion / Wreck The Hoose Juice / Cumbernauld Rocket Fuel.

I knew a guy, Joe Kiminski RIP who told me when he was in his forties that he still loved a pint of Guinness with a dash of Buckfast.

And now to the music. There is only one song I could play and that is for big Don, in court, looking at Stormy!

…Or it could be big Don looking at his daughter!

…In fact it is more likely to be Big Don looking in the mirror!

…I need a mop again!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I give you

…The Divinyls!!

Hugh