Hi folks here we are at Week 319.
This was one of those weeks I had no idea what I was going to write, but a quick look at the paper with a can of lager and I saw my inspiration. (For all you anal types out there, it was me who was drinking the lager and not the paper – And yes, I know, I should have sorted the sentence which would have stopped me typing this pish!)
I think that we’re spoiled for choice now-a-days and that’s not a good thing.
How many times have we decided that we would spend a night watching a film, but all the night is spent looking through Netflix for one to choose?
In my day you had three channels on the TV, then four in the early eighties. That’s how you got your knowledge of older films. In you would come from your work, settle down and whatever film was on, you’d watch. They were all older, the youngest one would be around five years old if you were very lucky. If you wanted to know anything about what was new, you had to watch Barry Norman and if you fancied what he critiqued, you had to get up off your arse and go to the pictures.
Reading was the same. You either had to go to a library or you had to go out and buy the newest release from your favourite author. You couldn’t simply finger your device and Bobs your Aunty!
Woolworths was my book store of choice. They did a cracking line on pulp fictions that had been slightly damaged and were very cheap. That’s where I first discovered the ‘Year Of…’ books by Lee Chang. I keep meaning to find those again and re-read to see if they are as interesting to me these days.
With reading now, all you need to do is access something on whatever device you have. I’m not tech savy and found that my colander receives fuck all except too much bastarding water which I know I have mentioned before but it still really fucking annoys me.
There is something about reading a real book that is so worth while. Fingering your device should only be for lonely robots!
There are other strange choices that I really don’t understand.
Why does there need to be so many exotic scents?
Billy Connelly once stated about his confusion with Jojoba and Ylang Ylang.
He thought Jojoba was the month after September and Ylang Ylang was an emphasis on you not being correct.
Why so many scented candles – If it’s due to an unfortunate toilet linger why not just start smoking and use a match like our forefathers before us.
When trying to make an impression or not as the case may be, surely it’s more romantic to be willing to chance lung cancer than to have shares in Yankee Candles?
Well we were spoiled for choice with our wonderful stories this week.
Okay folks – I should be taken out and shot for that terrible, abysmal link!!
We had one new writer, one returner and three old friends, one who we are keeping tabs on!
The topics this week include; unfairness, a talented beastie, an addiction, luck and inevitability.
As always our initial comments follow.
First up was a man who has become quite the regular over the last few months.
Yash Seyedbagheri got us up and running with his thirteenth story for the site.
‘Desperate Cents’ was published on Monday.
‘This is one of those stories that really makes you think.’
‘It’s cruel to watch others discard what you need.’
‘Well done and very sad.’
On Tuesday we had the wonderful Leila Allison. We are keeping an eye of Leila’s stories as she is getting close to a milestone.
‘Everyday I Ro Ro Ro In Zee Hay’ was one story closer.
‘There isn’t that many details but the brilliance is in what is there.’
‘Who could say no to a typing pygmy goat?’
Steve Sibra broke the back of the week with his fourth outing for us.
‘Submarines Like Ships In The Night’ was published on Wednesday.
‘Getting caught out can always be interesting.’
‘Having to keep lying shouldn’t end well!’
‘We had a giggle at the MC’s expense.’
David M. Robinson returned to the site on Thursday with his second story, ‘Eddie Kidney’s Thanksgiving.’
‘This could have been a bit safe – But no!’
‘The urination was a welcome inclusion. Well for the readers!’
‘This made me smile.’
And we finished off with our only new writer of the week.
We welcome Kevin Keating, hope he has fun on the site and we want to see more of his work.
Kevin’s story, ‘The Disciples Of Baphomet’ completed the week.
‘I really did like the style.
‘Brilliant tone all the way throughout.’
‘The twists were very well executed.’
That’s us all done and dusted.
As always – Please continue commenting. Or to all you shy wee souls out there, start commenting! Do you get embarrassed when you happen to see your arse in a mirror? Don’t worry, we all have one. Just like we all have opinions – Let us see yours and we promise not to stare at your arse.
And Leila still has no-one to share her lunch with.
If you want to get involved with the Sunday Re-Run, send us an older story that you’ve enjoyed, write a spiel or introduction about it and throw in a few questions for the writer. We’ll publish exactly what you send us.
And if you don’t want to, tell us why by sending us a comment and it will stop Diane enjoying a sneaky peek when you come out the shower!
Just to finish.
I read another thing that sounds the death knell of us as human beings.
Apple is developing a set of ear-phones / plugs / buds, whatever the fuck you call them, that will tell you when you need to turn right or left. The idea is that you won’t need to look up. So you can stare at your phone or device without being interrupted by pesky direction. I hope that many folks have very interesting feet and a guide dog to minimise those bastard’s sales.
As is the way with social (That’s a contradiction in terms) media, not only won’t you need to engage with people in a physical and real way, you now don’t need to engage in the world that is around you.
If you think this is a good idea I would suggest that the minute you were born you should have slipped into a coma and been hooked up to a fucking machine as that is the way you want to live your life.
Who needs to marvel at clouds, birds, sunrises, sunsets, trees, ducks, rivers, mountains or squirrels, when they can focus on a game with their friends who they’ve never met.
Ironically one of those friends will be the mutant who has watched them from afar and will eventually roofie them. Once again, they will never need to look up!
…And I think to myself…What a wonderful World!!
That’s a dirty slur Mr Cron – I do not hang around people’s showers hoping for a glimpse of saggy buttocks! dd
12 thoughts on “Week 319 – Too Much Variety, Diane’s Enthusiastic Observations And A Development That Would Make Satchmo Cry.”
E.M. Forster’s The Machine Stops, from 1909, has come true in the sense that increased technology decreases human competency. I learned how to drive using a manual transmission. I found it a simple skill, learnable within a few minutes, easily mastered within a few hours (albeit almost at the cost of my grandfather’s clutch plate). I can also tune a guitar by ear, parallel park, bake bread from scratch, wash dishes by hand, change a stylus and disconnect autocorrect (although it just keeps coming back like a disease). Oh, oh, I can also light a kitchen match off my fingernail.
No one needs to know how to do any of those things anymore. Then again nobody needs to know how to saw off a limb or operate without anesthetic at the hospital nowadays either. Don’t need to know how to conceal your weed growing operation any longer in this state; don’t need to know which wolfsbane is for vampires and which is better suited for werebears. I guess there are too many choices in this topic as well.
I seem to be rambling again. Can’t forget how to do that. Anyway, great post. Also, for fun, maybe everyone has a list of good and bad no longer can dos to share.
I’ll need to have a go at the match thing. I tried it on my thirteen year old face ‘stubble’ once and I did burn myself. But I don’t think you can count a phosphorus friction burn as a real burn.
That list is one that you come up with very little straight off but they do come to you.
I’ll add in, I never need an alarm clock to wake me, no matter what time I need to get out of bed.
I can make a piping bag from greaseproof paper.
I wonder how many folks under forty can do long division, fractions and percentages on paper. (I could never work the fecking percentage button on a calculator so I had no option)
I have so many can dos regarding alcohol – Tanning a pint, making Pina-Coladas, Margaritas, Martinis, O’Henrys (That is an idea for a drink I stole from a pub in Glasgow) all off the top of my head. To be fair I have a very wide taste range when it comes to booze so we are not talking precision here!
Now that I think on it, even changing a tyre is a ‘skill’ that is dying out and a few jobs back, there were only two of us who could write a cheque.
One I miss and loved doing was on a freezing cold morning getting the coal fire going!
The two skills that I have that very few people have now-a-days is I can ignore Facebook and I especially ignore the obsession that is the mobile fucking phone!!!
Thanks as always!!!!
I can do the fire thing – we still have a log fire here – not the modern burner type but an actual fire
I can do a fair bit of cooking from scratch, pastry (shortcrust, hot water crust and flan) I buy flaky because I’m not going to live forever am I. Cakes, varied (although I don’t imagine anything like as many as Hugh)
I have pulled out the hubbie’s tooth with a pair of pliers when it was essential because of location but I wouldn’t think that’s a marketable skill
Yes, manual gears didn’t give me much of a problem.
Weeds are very similar in height, colour and form as tomatoes – that’s just a point to bear in mind – not that I know anything about that sort of thing obvs.
I haven’t done the hula hoop for years and I reckon it’d kill me now.
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Do it yourself dentistry, and he let you? My God we have a winner there.
He squeaked a bit
Your reference to Woolworth’s brought back pleasant memories. Over here it was a department store. It sold a few books, too. One rotating rack with maybe 20 paperbacks. I remember the place best for its soda fountain and cherry cokes. Don’t get me started on its competitor next door, Ben Franklin’s.
Thanks so much for your comments.
When I was a kid our Woolworths had an ice cream booth which sold not only vanilla but chocolate and strawberry flavours as well. For Ayr in the early seventies that was quite exotic!!
There was an old thinking that no matter what, our High Streets would always have a Woolworths, Boots The Chemist and a Marks and Spencer. Woolworth is gone, M&S is still there but they have opened another branch in a retail park so there is a cloud hanging over the one in the town. Boots still thrives but a lot of that has to do with the three hundred or so thousand pounds it receives each year due to Methadone distribution. It’s very apt that Boots is still in The High Street!!
All the very best my friend.
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As always an interesting read. I’m proud of being ‘older’ because that means I have lived and had the thrill of experiencing history. When I lived in Panama we had Ylang Ylang trees in our yard and they smell a little bit like heaven, or as my husband said, “They stink!”. Sadly this week got away on me and I didn’t get to read and comment as much as I’d like.
It’s always great to see you around.
I honestly know nothing about Ylang Ylang. Is it so nice they named it twice?
I didn’t know what it was. Well, I mean, I did reckon it would be more plant than animal! But I didn’t know that it was a tree.
Thanks as always – Much appreciated!
I didn’t know you were selective!
Do you have a firmness scale?
Makes me wonder about the word ‘analyst’
I’ll stop now before you send me something ticking in the post!!
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I wouldn’t say I have a firmness scales as such but I can’t be doing with too much flap.
I could say so much!
I honestly could!!!