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Week 278 – Statute Statues, Humanitarian Humanitarians And Did Vera Do Any Fuckies. (Warning – Strong Language)

Here we are at week 278.

Father’s Day came and went. I miss out on this. Maybe there should be a ‘Thank Fuck You Are Not Polluting The World With Your Offspring Day’ That could be for all the unselfish souls who’ll deal with their own pish when they get dribbley.

When you think on all the medical and schooling services that the un-childed don’t access, the days off work that they don’t use, the Christmas Holidays that they are expected to give way for, the benefits that they are not entitled to and the general not exposing the world to their little brats, you would think even a wee tax rebate at the end of the year isn’t too much to ask.

But NO – If you have worked all your days and had no kids, you get fuck all. I suppose the only thing that is of any comfort is when your serial killing bastards have killed us dead then they will have honed their craft all for mummy and daddy.

I see that Vera Lynn died this week. She was the forces sweetheart you know. Well if you had a choice of being shot at by an angry man who spoke a different language from you or listening to a dirge, which would you choose?

I’ve heard reports that they are thinking of erecting a statue…Well, that’s maybe not a good idea. Some may think that she could symbolise anti-German feeling. I don’t hold to that. I think that it might be the true music lovers who may be a tad perturbed.

Ahh… Statues and what they stand for and why they should be pulled down or left alone is a debate that’s going to go on long and weary. And surely no-one would look at this as a road to complete censorship? Our governments are too intelligent to let that happen.

Let’s be honest…When you analyse it, anyone who did anything for their towns and cities and brought industry and money into those places, all have blood on their hands. The further back you go, the worse it is. Where there’s money, there is blood.

We could end up with a helluva lot of double standards as any statues of Kings, Queens, Religious Figures etc have some form of oppression attached to them.

Maybe it’s not the statue that should be pulled down, maybe it’s the ‘dedication’ on the plaque that should be re-thought truthfully.

There are some whisperings here in my home town regarding Mr Burns. He was just about to set off to be involved in some book-keeping gig in a sugar plantation and that is raising questions. Luckily for him and Masons all across the world, his first book of poems was published in Edinburgh before he could balance up some slavery.

‘A man’s a man for aw that’???

Do we look at these words any differently now? Are these words still uplifting or were they ever ironic??

It’ll be interesting to see what decisions are made about all of this. But  rest assured that all those who make the decisions will make a total fuck-up of it!

We wait with baited breath for our first statue pulling down submission!! (Oh and guys, that’s not an invitation or request.)

Okay onto this weeks stories.

We had three new writers and we extend the usual welcome to them with the added hope that they enjoy themselves on the site and of course, we want to see more of their work!

Along with the newbies to the site we had two writers who are getting close to two hundred stories between them.

Our topics this week include; a failure, angry fowl, mutual respect, finding each other and a multitude of worries.

As always our initial comments follow.


First up was the wonderful Leila Allison. I think she is doing her best to have her titles hit the ten thousand word mark.

The brilliantly named, ‘Fear And Loathing Amongst The Ducks Of The Serengeti (Or Coup D’etat Foie Gras) (In Memory Of Dr. Hunter S. Thompson)‘ started us off. (Brilliant use of (double) brackets!!)

‘To take everybody’s childhood dread of the farm and add her characters to it, is quite inspiring.’

‘The three water fowl were hilarious.’

‘Insanity, imagination and hidden amongst this we have a very well read author.’


On Tuesday we had the legend that is Tom Sheehan.

Who says you can’t have quality and quantity?

Face Of The Mountain‘ was published on Tuesday.

‘This is very introspective.’

‘I loved the idea of the father and the bear being buried together.’

‘The mountain collapsing is shocking but the story leads you into it.’


Our first new writer broke the back of the week.

Allison Collins story, ‘Coronation Day‘ was next up.

‘It was clever to introduce the story with his failure.’

‘Enthralling, I really enjoyed this.’

‘Well constructed and beautifully understated.’


Hope Matyas was the writer of Thursday’s offering.

An End Resolved‘ nearly finished us off.

‘Excellent tone and pace.’

‘I found this to be quite hypnotic.’

‘Honest, gentle and moving.’


And last but not least we had ‘An Act Of Courage‘ by Robert P. Bishop.

This was Friday’s story.

‘It makes a refreshing change just to read about the paranoia and not have the cause rammed down our throats.’

‘Convincing. Very good pace to it.’

‘We were taken into the multitude of the MC’s paranoia.’


That’s us for another week folks.

Please continue to comment, it keeps the site breathing.

And have a go at the Sunday Re-Run. Just pick a story that you have enjoyed and write a spiel or an introduction for it. You can also throw a few questions in for the writer. We’ll publish exactly what you send us.

To finish off, I was wondering about ‘We’ll Meet Again’ and whether there was a version that wasn’t despicably dire.

Even ‘The Inkspots’ couldn’t save it but someone did. I found a band called ‘The Fuckies’ and they do an acceptable version. There’s also a video although I’m not sure what the girl is doing with the skeleton but it’s all artistic I suppose. Check it out on Youtube. (I’m not sure if Miss Lynn covered any of their songs)

I reckon that version could become a go to for a funeral – Especially with the skeleton.

That would be as cool as your first dance at your wedding being ‘Woman’ by the ‘Anti-Nowhere League.’

Last thought on this – It’s a good job that Keith Flint didn’t live as long as Vera Lynn. Could you imagine all the tearful, reminiscing audience as he stands up in 2060 as a ninety year old singing an emotional rendition of his 1997 anthem, ‘Smack My Bitch Up.’?

Wonder if he’ll get a statue?



Image philliecasablanca from Flickr / CC BY ( – from Wikipedia.

For anyone who doesn’t know (surely not) this is Jonny Wilkinson on the fourth plinth in Trafalgar square. An empty plinth to be used for temporary ‘statues’. This is of course not the wondrous rugby genius himself – that would silly – not to mention cold. It is a wax works from Madam Tussaud’s on the eve of the Rugby World cup. It worked of course – England won. He will always be my hero. But maybe this is the answer; cyclic adoration. I must write to her maj.  or whoever makes these decisions.



4 thoughts on “Week 278 – Statute Statues, Humanitarian Humanitarians And Did Vera Do Any Fuckies. (Warning – Strong Language)”

    1. Aye right!!
      You wanted to give wee Johnny as much of the limelight as you could!!!
      …But I suppose I can’t complain!
      Thanks as always Diane.


  1. I believe that the mob should pass a one question exam before the statue goes down. “What do you know about this person?” If they don’t give an intelligent answer then they cannot pull it down until they give one.
    Systemic ignorance of history is appalling. Surveys given to American high schoolers confirm little or no knowledge of the Holocaust. Some even believe that it was an old time radio program.
    I recall attempting to make a point to a supposedly educated person by quoting Santayana “Those who do not learn history are doomed to repeat it.” This University educated guy had never heard that before. And all he said about it was “Oh well.”


    1. Hi Leila,
      I think that quote is one of the more perceptive and sadly truer ones.
      I do think it is a very dangerous road to go down. I’ve always thought that censorship will be the downfall of this world and for whatever reason, all this makes me think we are a nudge closer to that.
      What’s worse, not knowing or not caring? Probably both and when you add in not learning…Well…
      Thanks as always, your comments fair make my day.


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