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Week 247 – Rotting Grandparents, We!r.d/Punctu,atio#n And Ironic Mobile Users.

Halloween was this week and we are spending more and more trying to scare kids.

You don’t need automated garden ornaments of monsters or copious amounts of fake blood to terrify them. You could just get hold of their ‘FaceshitTwitterpishInstabollocks’ contact list and un-friend them with a short message saying –

‘We’ve all seen the photo.’


Or whatever abbreviation is hip and happening that particular week.

A more traditional way to do this would be to blindfold them, take them into some woods and tie them tightly against a tree. Leave them there to the following morning without their phones.


You could escalate this each year, maybe add in a decapitated favourite toy, a dead pet or a decomposing favourite grandparent – That sort of thing. You could become very creative depending on how well you know your kid. There could be some sort of competition and prize for the parents.

I think if we made this part of the celebrations then it wouldn’t be long until all this died out.

And don’t moan – You cater to their every whim so if the wee mutants want to be scared, scare them you must!

I’ve got a few ideas to get rid of Christmas in two years max but you’d judge me. I think I may be on Amazon’s hit-list but I’m not worried, I have the protection of the turkeys.

I don’t need to worry about any come-back from The High Street Shops as they are fucked anyway. I read somewhere that more and more of them are thinking of shutting on Boxing Day as they are not getting much business. That is sad. I wish that shops decided to close down to give themselves a break and not because of the lack of footfall.

Nik gave me a prod for our next topic. We had a bit of a discussion this week about a story that wasn’t structured in the normal way. We were quite split about this.

Who is right and who is wrong is all subjective.

It’s a total gamble writing this way, as for some readers, it resonates and for others, it irritates.

We are of the general opinion that you should be comfortable with writing in a format and structure that is more recognisable than weird. You can then take it from there if you want to be more creative or unique.

But it’s all down to the particular author and if they want to be true to themselves.

We couldn’t specifically advise on this. It’s possible that if you go out of your way to change, it won’t work. But if that style comes naturally to you, then it might.

If you are going to do this you need to impose it. You must get the reader to accept the structure and be able to get on with the story. If they are punctuating this in their head, then you have lost them. So how can you be successful writing with a different format? – Well that’s the question. As I said, it can work for some and not others.

One thing though, total incompetence is a completely different matter and can be spotted a mile away no matter how you try to dress it up.

OK, onto this week’s stories.

We had three old friends and two new writers for your reading pleasure.

To both our newbies, we welcome them, hope they have fun on the site and as always we want to see more of their work.

The topics this week include; Posing, dependency, a journey, a moral and casualties.

As always our initial comments follow.


First up was Mr Monday himself, Tom Sheehan.

He began the week with ‘To The Brim And Back‘.

‘I liked the two old boys.’

‘They had devilment and rebellion and in their minds, they hadn’t given up.’

‘They’re not going anywhere but they think they are and that is good enough.’


The pure delight that is Leila Allison was next up on Tuesday with ‘Renfield Awesomenicitizes The Ghost Of The Tom Tom Ghost: A Feeble Fable

‘I read this with a stupid grin on my face.’

‘Miss Izzy (Queen Of Shoeboxes) will be understood by every cat owner.’

”False hope’ is a marketable commodity’ is a brilliant observation on a Wishing Well.’


On Wednesday we had another story from another old friend.

Des Kelly was next up with, ‘The Night.

‘The tone and pace of certain tropes were very well done.’

‘The last paragraph was excellent.’

‘It was monotone but this added to the atmosphere.’


Our first new writer was Jeremiah Minihan.

His story, ‘Museum Pictures‘ was published on Thursday.

‘The tone is perfect.’

There are a few touches that show that the husband was controlling but indifferent.’

‘She rebelled for herself by allowing the artist to paint her.’


And on Friday we had our second new writer.

James Gilbert’s ‘Put The Cork Back In The Bottle‘ finished off the week.

‘This highlights the realistic beginning of alcohol escalation.’

‘You realise that the relationship will break down when the despair begins to creep in.’

‘James is painting a very clear picture.’


Well that’s us for another week.

Just the usual reminders.

Leila was given a well earned rest this week when Marco Etheridge sent in his excellent Sunday Re-Run piece. Thank you Sir!!

But Leila will do an Arnie as she continues to champion this feature with some very astute and insightful introduction.

Why not give it a go. Pick an older story that you have enjoyed, write an introduction or a critique and throw in a couple of questions for the writer. We will print exactly what you send.

And to everyone – Please keep the comments coming. They are much appreciated and help make the site that wee bit more special.

I mentioned mobiles at the beginning of this and there is no hiding the fact that I hate them.

Some people agree but finish it off with, ‘But I only use it for emergencies’

What emergency can be averted by boring the shit out of everyone by informing them on everything that you have done. The only good thing is they are boring those who bore also.

I pride myself on the fact that I don’t have one and I don’t give a flying fuck on what the technology allows me to do.

Folks get so excited that they can order food on a phone…They always could.

They get even more excited that they can contact their friends…They always could.

And they adore taking a picture of themself being ironic…They always do.

…Especially whilst ordering food or talking to their friends.



hahahahah ‘I have the protection of the turkeys.’ hahahahaha – still laughing – dd

pixabay donated the turkeys.


7 thoughts on “Week 247 – Rotting Grandparents, We!r.d/Punctu,atio#n And Ironic Mobile Users.”

  1. A different format is an interesting thing as long as the format in question was arrived at through the creative process and not just from a desire to be unique or just an old fashioned pain in the ass. I do not believe that going too wild as to make what you have written look offbeat is the way to go. Doing something striking with the same old symbols and patterns we recognize is, in my opinion, the far better option.
    Leila Allison


    1. Hi Leila,
      You hit on a falseness and that is never good.
      It’s like those clowns that wear wacky jumpers just to be seen as being wacky.
      Anyone who needs to think on what they are, aren’t being true to themself. And if they need to show what they are, they are missing the point of being them.
      Thanks as always.
      Looking forward to your story this week!!


    1. Hi Leila,
      Vegans really miss out on conscience and conflict against deliciousness and natural use of your teeth.
      Thanks as always!


    1. Hi Dave,
      When we read a story, enjoy it and then realise that the format is different, it has worked. But if we look at it and are confused before we even start, then it hasn’t.
      We never get much snow as we are right on the coast. We get just enough for it to freeze over and be treacherous to walk on. The local authority can’t handle that never mind any blizzards!
      Thanks as always my friend.


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