Leila Allison has been dusting the shelves in the store room – okay that’s a lie nobody can get in to do that – but she has been down there rifling through the stories and found this one by Dave Henson – this is what she said.

I was wandering in the LS wilderness the other day and came across a sign that said: The Drag Queen and the Dozen Dicks. “What’s this?” I asked myself as I stepped closer to have a look at whatever lay behind the sign. A noose immediately looped my foot and I found myself hanging upside down from a tree, just like in an old jungle movie. It was a goddam trap, laid and set by David Henson.

There are several strange elements that made this ordeal worthwhile. First, Mr. Henson found a way to make his MC, “Mark” somewhat likable even though he (Mark, not Mr. Henson, despite a tendency to set traps) is a jealous douche-nozzle. I really cannot comment on the rest of the strange elements without divulging too much, including the nifty karmic ending. (Here, I refuse to say “spoiler alert.” The next fink who bleats that around me will win a “special prize”–known by some as a foot up the wazoo.)

After I had read the piece (which took a while, with me being upside down and all), one of Henson’s toadies came by and cut me down, then scuttled off into the bushes before I could give him an extremely heartfelt version of my “special prize.” Have a look, if you will, and be careful about what you might step into.

Leila Allison

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The Drag Queen and The Dozen Dicks