Week 109 – Addictions, Jaffa Cakes And a Shoe With No Name

I’ve been wondering this week about how addictive writing is.

Addiction comes in many forms. I have one brother-in-law who is addicted to Dysons and the other is addicted to Jaffa Cakes. It’s hysterical when they get together as one pisses off the other as there are never any crumbs to hoover up.

Most wives are addicted to correction. Most husband are addicted to selective deafness and most parents are addicted to parasites.

We have the common ones. Alcohol, well I refuse to call that a problem as I bloody well enjoy it. Drugs are only an issue depending on what part of society uses them. Stealing a DVD from Cash Converters is wrong and that person is scum but who cares if your accountant is coked out his head as long as he got you off from paying your taxes. He’s a professional!

Cigarettes are unique as they are transferably addictive. For those who give up are then immediately addicted to being self-righteous arseholes

The sex addiction is a strange one as that depends on what income bracket you are in. If you are rich, you have a problem that needs therapy and if you are poor then you are either a ‘skank’ or a ‘hoor maister’ who will be labelled with ‘mad shagger’ for the rest of your life.

As well as Jaffa Cakes, some other foods can be addictive. Swiss Roll and lamb chops are seemingly a problem, but I don’t listen to who tells me that!

The list can go on. But there is a difference with writing. You need to work at it. Don’t get me wrong, you really need to work at getting so pished that you think that your shoe is a squirrel and you buy it a goldfish bowl and name it Bernard. (I forgot what I called the squirrel…If you didn’t see that joke coming then shame on you!)

But the point is we may get a bit tetchy if we haven’t written for a while but sometimes that itch is lessened as we realise how much work we need to put in. That then becomes some form of relief so we procrastinate, get angrier and then blame writers block. Just remember folks, writers block is writing impotence or drying up. (Problems need sexual equality too!)

I’ve found that it isn’t the writing that’s the problem, it’s the ideas that can desert you. I’ve found a really simple solution to this which really suits my skill set. I don’t think. If I am not writing around a specific idea for a story, when I haven’t written for a while, I just begin and let the god of irrelevance and pishness take my hand and guide me where the story, or in most cases, lack of it, wants to go. Warning, if you try this, quantity will overtake quality, but lets not mock it as at least you are feeding your addiction!

Now onto folks who will never need to worry about any of the above. Confidentiality forbids me from revealing any known problems!

We really did have some crackers this week. The stories have been traumatic, thoughtful, clever, horrific and realistic.

We have three new folks to introduce and two of our excellent old campaigners.

As always our initial comments follow.

On Monday we had the beautifully eccentric Leila Allison. ‘Out In The Turkey Pen‘ was our first story of the week.

‘When you read this you appreciate what a mind set she has.’

‘Great fun.’

‘Very clever, I have no hesitation in saying yes!’

I mentioned the other week that I thought that ‘The Milk Of Human Kindness‘ had been one of Fred’s best. I have a confession to make, I knew this was coming and I didn’t want to spoil it as he raised the bar yet again!

‘Country Living‘ was next up on Tuesday.

‘Well, it’s definitely not ‘The Waltons’

‘So very believable and none of them actually saw how ghastly it all was.’

‘Her manipulation was chilling, not because of what she did but how nonchalant she was about the actions towards her.’

On Wednesday we had our first new writer of the week with ‘Running‘ by William R. Soldan. We welcome William Soldan, hope he enjoys the site and our usual plea for more stories!

‘The lack of a happy ending, with only realisation, made it more real.’

‘The tone and rhythm appealed to me very quickly.’

‘Proficient writing with just the right amount of melancholy.’

Our second new person was next. We ask Daryll Graf to read the previous welcome and apply it to himself!

‘The Apartment‘ was published on Thursday.

‘Personal and emotional.’

‘A worthy addition to the site.’

‘A tribute and an acceptance.’

And yet another new writer to finish off the week.

Jeffrey Penn May was last up on Friday with ‘Pluggin Leaks‘.

Same welcome, same plea and same quality from a talented writer.

‘Excellent, well written and ultimately very poignant.’

‘A gripping piece.’

‘Well written and enthralling.’

That’s another week complete folks and a new one just over the horizon.

Whilst my lamb chops are cooking I’ll ignore my lack of ideas and write Week 110!!

Hugh

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