Week 103 – Paris Buns, Titles And Holidays

In the name of the wee man! I thought the number 102 was boring and then I looked up 103. If you ever want a reason to kill yourself, access that piece of amazement.

For inspiration, it is murder. We used to have a saying here which was ‘Murder Polis!’ (Murder Police) and the reason that you said that was when you needed assistance, as in ‘My computer is fecked, murder Polis!’ (We miss out words, phrases, emotions and well being. The word that is missing that makes a wee bit more sense of this nonsense is ‘Help’ so it should really be ‘My computer is fecked! Help murder Polis!) And before anyone comments I know that is about as interesting as the facts on the number 103!

That number does mean something to me. I once lived at number 103. In fact, it was number 103 / 105. Don’t be impressed, it wasn’t a mansion, it was a wee bakehouse. Yep I was a Masterbaker for twelve years. And yes, I have been told on many occasions that I have been that for a lot longer. I am so happy that my name wasn’t Bates as I would have been Master Bates Master Baker! It sounds a wee bit excessive!

The reason that I am telling the six folks who read this is that this does have a writing element. And that is poetry. I have written a lot of poetry. None of it was inspired by Rabbie or Paris Buns. (I am really pissed off that I haven’t got the recipe we used for Paris Buns as most of the West Coast Of Scotland considered Paris Buns as their five a day – Sweet dough, sugar nibs, water, butter, and jam – you had to add that yourself. Paris Buns were our rusks. They were a pudding to a fish supper and they also soaked up the tears of disappointment that being Scottish involves.

I was off on a tangent again! Anyway, I wrote a lot of poetry in those days and some of it was quite interesting. Well it interested me as I was working over 100 hours a week and didn’t know what planet I was on, so anything I wrote was interesting as I couldn’t remember sod all. I was in a dream for around twelve years. The point that I am getting to was that I truly believed that the title of my second book of poems was inspired. The first was a terrible pun – ‘ A Cronicle Of Perceptions’. But the second, well it was called ‘Return Of The Paperbag Poet’ I wanted to incorporate the word ‘poke’ into the title but didn’t quite manage. You see, and I don’t know why, the word ‘poke’ in Scotland has four meanings. It can either be:

To prod someone.

To have sex.

A paper bag.

Or if slightly changed to a ‘Pokie Hat’ – that is a cone for ice-cream.

But we normally use it, strangely enough for a paper bag. So to anyone who reads this and visits Scotland, never be worried if a shop keeper asks you ‘Do you want a poke?’…Unless they ask you twice!!!

Oh and both those books of poetry are available at…Nowhere!!! They were another two books that were bombed out!!!!

Long story short, think about your titles. I am pish at it! And poetry!!

OK, on to this weeks stories. We have everything from war, re-animation, vampires, romance to talking birds!

Two new folks joined our merry band this week along with one returning author and two old friends. As always our initial comments follow.

Our first first timer is Paul Handley, his story ‘Feather Cap‘ was published on Monday. The usual welcome and plea for other stories applies!

‘I understood the weird uncle character.’


‘There was something about this that appealed to me.’

On Tuesday another new author followed. Raymond Hopkins was next up with ‘Meeting Of Minds

Another ‘Hello’ and ‘Send us more’ to you Raymond.

‘There was a charm to this.’

‘The voice was the same all throughout the story which added to the likeability of the character.

Nyx Bean was our returning author. ‘Hi I’m Stacey‘ was her offering for us on Wednesday.

‘This is sharp and quite witty.’

‘Funny and clever’

‘Nyx mixed the reality of Facebook etc. with the false fiction of horror and fantasy and came up with something fresh and new.’

Our last two stories of the week come from two old campaigners. On Thursday we had Mr Doug Hawley with ‘Cat Of Hanley.’

‘This stands on its own and has some very funny moments.’

‘The frequency of sex references made no sense but worked and they made me laugh.’


…And on Friday, no introduction is needed for Mr Tom Sheehan.

‘Leaving For Viviers.’ was last up.

‘Poignant, shocking and unsettling.’

‘So much horror without being graphic.’

‘The story grew into itself.’

That’s us for another week!

Just to let you know, we will shut down for the holidays. We are planning on having stories up until Friday 23rd December, we will post on Saturday 24th and then be shut until Monday 9th January.

Now don’t make that an excuse to stop writing or sending. We need stories for that week and are hoping to have them all ready this end.

Come on guys, you know how emotional Christmas and New Year can be. Use that as inspiration for the evil and twisted. If anyone sends us in a Christmas Romance, I will not be responsible for my actions. I’ll hunt them down, paper cut their extremities and use the bloody A4 as an accelerant for fire. But hey, it’s up to you!!!!!


Banner image: Pixabay

3 thoughts on “Week 103 – Paris Buns, Titles And Holidays

  1. I love the post and this week’s stories. And my computer isn’t fecked it is fucked. It died this week without leaving a will. Fortunately I threw a USB to my files and together we watched the device slowly sink into the sea. It was a sad and moving experience. I currently roam like a hobo to library and borrowed interfaces, still reading and making comments–even though this one does have a me me me color to it. I’m glad for the upcoming break, for that is when I will purchase a new device to destroy. Until then I’m off to an undisclosed location. To all: keep up the good work, and Merry Christmas.


    • I hate technology. I hate computers. And I hate things that work and then decide to stop working, so I wish I hated myself.
      So sorry it has taken me so long to answer this, I think this is my third time trying to catch up on my comments. Unfortunately this has nothing to do with an exciting life , it is more a lethargy problem!!
      Leila, you always make me smile!


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