Another week and another person spitting out the dummy after only two refusals. I don’t bother with these petulants any-more but what it does do is make me appreciate those folks who have took rejection with good grace, realised that it was nothing personal and the best part was, they continued to send. Some have got through, others keep at it.
Ahhhhh people! Can’t suffer them all and can’t kill all of those that we can’t suffer!!!
Onto this week’s post!!
There’s one graphic thing that I’m glad that I’ve never read in books that I’ve seen in film and TV Series far too often.
…Can you guess what it is yet? (Aye Rolph, it’s your cock, put it away!!)
Wait a minute, there are probably many examples of this but I can’t remember reading any in the hundreds of books that I’ve read. So let’s say that this may be a rarer subject matter more than that it’s never there. I don’t want to be inundated with recommendations as I wouldn’t fucking read them!! But I suppose that could be a good thing, I could have a Leila like list on ‘Books To Avoid Like The Fucking Plague / An Enthusiastic Workee Or A Fawning royalist.
…The topic is child-birth.
Now I know that some weirdos think the whole sorry state of affairs is beautiful and touching and who am I to take that away from them and hopefully I can’t. But for fuck sake, a woman screaming in pain, having her extremities ripped and finally producing a wrinkled, ugly (Fuck off, all babies ain’t beautiful!!) shit machine that is covered in gloop isn’t really something that is much fun.
I have no idea why Sit-Coms especially, seem to think that there is so much comedic value in this situation. I’m quite sure if you asked the mother half-way through, ‘Do you find anything in this situation that is hysterical?’ I reckon her answer would be in the negative ball-park with a few expletives and the threat of violence!
I’ve never been the most descriptive story teller and even if I wanted to, I wouldn’t know where to start.
I’ve never wanted kids, neither has Gwen so I’m only talking from those experiences that I’ve been told about.
‘TOLD’ I might add!!! I’ve never fucking asked!!
We’ve all been at a party that made us feel like the spare prick at a hoors wedding, I reckon that feels the same with the fawning family listening to the gory details from new mum and dad whilst there is someone there who it all means absolutely nothing to.
I have no experience and therefore cannot say that this topic could or could not be written realistically. All I can say is if it was or wasn’t, neither would appeal and I would avoid those stories like the Fucking plague / An Enthusiastic Workee or A Fawning royalist.
…Oh and I hate ‘Isn’t She Lovely?’ by Stevie Wonder!
Okay onto this week’s stories.
This week we had three new writers, a returner and a fellow who is well established.
To all our newbies we extend a warm welcome and we hope to see more of their work.
As always, our initial comments follow.
First up was our first new writer.
Gene Bray got us up and running with, ‘The Cart’
‘Every town has these guys in them.’
‘A good piece of writing.’
‘Perceptive.’
On Tuesday we had James Hanna who had his 21st story for us.
That story was, ‘Christian Ladies Of Wrestling.’
‘The twist to the good girls makes this worthwhile.’
‘Works brilliantly as a short.’
‘Another excellent story from James.’
Our second new writer broke the back of the week.
‘Dive Right In’ by James Flanagan was published on Wednesday.
‘This is common ground but James made it his own.’
‘Some good writing here.’
‘Inventive.’
On Thursday we had our last debutante, Robert Cutillo with ‘Blacksticks Blue’.
‘Superb set-up.’
‘His decency was very well done.’
‘An interesting piece of work.’
And we ended the week with Thurman Hart who returned for the second time (Obviously!) with, ‘The Absence Of Good’
‘Very dark.’
‘A strong case for no god.’
‘Hard hitting, dark and dreadful. All in a good way!!’
That’s us for another week.
The usual reminders. Please get involved with our Sunday features. (Just have a look and we will publish what you send us.)
Please comment.
And if you get a comment, a ‘Thanks’ ‘aint too much to ask!
Just to finish.
I’m sure anyone who reads any of these postings that I’ve written know that I have a few problems with a few bodies of people, like royals, royalists, politicians, reality stars (Fucking stars!!). Mainly ’cause those bodies are still breathing! But something happened to me this week that made me seethe at the stupidity.
Long story short, I was in the town around ten a.m. and I hadn’t had a beer for ages. There was a pub just around the corner from my bus-stop and I saw that it was open so I decided to go in for a pint and a Brandy. (Aye, judge me if you want!!) Anyhow, when I placed my order, the young lady told me that they didn’t sell alcohol until noon. Now that wasn’t what annoyed me. You see, I have a taste for the cans of zero % Guinness and I knew that they sold them so I asked if I could have one of those. She told me that she couldn’t sell me one of those either.
I’ve been thinking on this and getting more annoyed. Why the fuck is this a law?? If you can’t sell a Guinness with no fucking alcohol in it, why in the name of fuck are you allowed to sell anything from a pint of orange juice to a cup of tea? They don’t have any alcohol in them either!
Who the fucks makes up these rules??
I work night-shifts and another thing that bugs me is, let’s say we’re having folks round for dinner. I can finish my shift, buy all the food but I need to go home wait until ten a.m. before I can return to where I bought the food to buy the fucking wine!!
Just let us buy what we want when we want. To all the politicians and god-botherers out there – Twenty Four hour licensing does not tempt anyone. The money in your pocket is what tempts you. If you have fuck all, you will buy fuck all. Those who steal, steal at night too. It’s a fucking moot point you insulting nanny-state bastards!!
…And for the music, well I had to say fair-well to a legend this week. And I’ve found it hard to choose a song. Amongst the best we have ‘Here Comes The Sun’, ‘Make Me Smile’, ‘Judy Teen’, and ‘Sebastian’ The man even held his own with Sarah Brightman and yoan ‘Phantom’ thing!!
But sod it – ‘Mr Soft’ is a belting tune.
RIP Steve Harley – You were a huge part of the 70’s!!!!!!!!!!
Image: Well stocked bar from pixabay.com
literally stories 
Hello Hugh
The best child birth scene in fiction must be the debut of Alien. I mean how cute was that–all wrapped in John Hurt’s vitals?
Years ago my friend conned me into helping her in the delivery room (no way in hell I would ever go through that). Her boyfriend pulled the old going to the store for a pack of smokes routine and she needed someone there to keep her from killing her pushy mother who had to be involved in everything. If all young girls were brought into that room I bet we would be at zero population growth in no time flat. In fact if they react to it the way I did, our species will be extinct in about a hundred years.
Great post again!
Leila
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Hi Leila,
I loved that scene but was a bit disappointed how early it was as I adore John Hurt. (‘Midnight Express’ and ’10 Rillington Place’ being two of my favourites.)
What male, if they were brutally honest would want to be at a birth? What female if they were brutally honest would want to be at the birth??
Fuck it – Both don’t get pregnant (See what I did there???) and celebrate every nine months after they shagged with a huge cigar and a bottle of Brandy – Now that is a procreation that I could join in with!!!
Thanks as always!!
Hugh
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Entertaining post, Hugh, and another good song called to our attention. Years ago a guest on Graham Norton said he witnessed the birth of his child. When asked about it, he said it was like watching his favorite pub being demolished.
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Hi Dave,
I hadn’t heard that as I avoid all talk-shows these days as they are a love fest and I end up wishing that the studio would go on fire. I loved Mr Norton as the enthusiastic priest in ‘Father Ted’. (Worth a look!)
But to be fair, that is a belting line!!!
Hope all is well with you my fine friend.
Hugh
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Oh I can’t stand that Stevie Wonder thing – in fact most songs with children in make my hackles rise – (Brick in the wall excempted of course) Even After the Goldrush has been ruined by ‘sweet little voices’ at the end. eeuk. I am puzzled by the way nowadays couples say ‘We are pregnant’ and even I have heard ‘We went into labour’ No, you didn’t woman did that and now with cheap turkey basters available you don’t really have to be around at all. I don’t know why women feel the need to talk about childbirth, not even among other women – eeeuw – let’s talk about Jason Mamoa instead! Good post Hugh even if bits of it did make me niggled, not the post but the subjects.
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Hi Diane,
Kids singing in their kids voice (Not the talented ones with an actual range) is wrath inducing.
That fucking Spanish Christmas song makes me want to hurt people!
You’ve hit on something with the shared experience idea.
FUCKWITS! And they should never have been allowed to breed.
‘If I get my nose smashed in the woods, will my partner feel my pain?’
NAW! They’ll no!! They can sympathise but that’s about it!
Jason Mamoa…Is he a drink??
Thanks as always.
Hugh
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Irrelevant note – Yesterday novelist Alex Matthews died March 22. She quit writing a murder she shrunk (the mc was a therapist as was she) series after many lackluster years. She taught me the alphabet, may have saved my life according to family legend, and injured me more than once. My sister in Oak Park Illinois had been in poor health for many years.
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Hi Doug,
So sorry my fine friend. There are no words.
Hugh
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Hugh –
Thanks. We didn’t get along well, but that’s the end of the family, father, mother, sister.
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I’m of that age when I start paying more attention to the obits than I used to and Steve Harley’s knocked me for six more than most not least because I cannot help but ‘sing’ along whenever Make Me Smile comes on!
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Hi Steven,
There are always those that get to us.
Some tits try to score points by being all intellectual in their choices and they come across as so false.
Be true to those memories that mean something to you and those memories will be true to you.
All the very best my fine friend.
Hugh
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Great post as ever – the thing that shocked me most is the refusal to sell a non-alcoholic drink – unbelievable! Also, sad to see Steve Harley leave us.
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Hi Paul,
It’s a continual pleasure my fine friend.
Yep, I wish that the powers at be would treat us like adults. They can get away with childish shit but they still think they know what is best for us.
Sadly I’m starting to worry for all the singers and group[s I grew up with.
Except Mr Richards – He’ll be fine! (Fuck! I’ve probably given him the kiss of death!)
Hugh
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