“… There’s a little green frog swimming in the water a little green frog doing what he ought-a … Alright all you gladers… there are 15 species of frogs and snakes in this here swamp and the most deadly of all is Captain Dwayne’s trouser-snake responsible for breaking hearts and busting up trailer parks on both sides of the Okeefenokee. This here’s injun land compadres. You’re on an Indian Reservation and the spirit of the hawk and the water dragon oversees these waterways. Now you calls em gators but we calls em draaaaagons… and if you let old captain Dwayne rev up this here rusty metal wildebeest to 150 miles per hour we’ll just see if we can rustle up some draaaagons for ya … ” [vrooooom!]
Tag: Short Fiction
She Has Brown Hair, Brown Eyes, and Freckles by Dylan Macdonald
Kendall comes home from work at five, takes off her winter coat, takes off her shoes, smiles at me, washes her hands, eats a banana and half a chocolate bar, pours herself a glass of water, sits down next to me on the couch, and puts her glass of water on a coaster. She kisses me.
“You know I drink eight gallons of water every day,” she says with such certainty.
Sometimes she can believe even the most impossible things.
“You definitely don’t.” Surely, that would be impossible.
“Yes I do! Don’t say that.”
Continue reading “She Has Brown Hair, Brown Eyes, and Freckles by Dylan Macdonald”
Literally Stories – Week 62 – A Plea
Hello there, it is me again. Mr West is having computer problems. I sympathise, I really do as I always have computer problems. Adam’s is equipment breakdown whereas mine is mainly ability breakdown, although I do truly believe that they hate me. I take it all very personal and I wish I had a shotgun licence and the funds to be able to change my blown to pieces equipment any-time that it annoyed me. (Mr Presley and TVs comes to mind! As does a fried bacon, peanut butter and banana sandwich…And a few unmentionable situations that we shouldn’t dwell on. Maybe it is a good job Mr Presley didn’t have a computer for so many reasons!)
Anyway, I will continue. We have themed these posts in the past but this one will be a wee bit different. You may have noticed that both myself and Nik have been active with our stories. It has been an honour for both of us. But what we want to explain is that this is no incestuous, stories for the boys, type situation from our ivory towers. This has been out of necessity. We are struggling for submissions. The numbers over the past few weeks have been rather low. Both myself and Nik have had to go through the same selection process as everyone else and LUCKILY we have made the grade, if we hadn’t, well I think the tone of this article would be a little different. We need more stories. But, and this is a biggie, we still insist on the quality. If the quality isn’t there then we would rather close than accept anything that we think is below par.
So to an appeal. To all our writers, whether they be one story guys or multiple contributors, please look under your bed and finally tune those scribbles that we know that you have there. If you have any doubt with them, then put them back, they will hide the dust. But if you are happy, if when reading, you get that twitch in the pit of your stomach that says that you have something good, then please send them in. We cannot sustain the site without quality fiction. You have all shown us that you have exceptional work and we need to see more.
Are you ready for a tie-in!
That was an emotional plea and we could say that all our stories this week deal with emotions. (How was that for a rubbish link? I am good at rubbish links, just ask my fellow editors!)
I was up on Monday and wrote about very strong emotions that shouldn’t matter or even be there with my story Blood And Bigotry.
David Jordan touched on the much more recognisable love and humanity with Tuesdays heartfelt story The Other Woman.
Wednesday’s story was based on the true events of a horrific time in Welsh history with Nik’s beautifully structured and traumatic telling of The Generation We Lost.
My take on family secrets was up on Thursday with Passed On.
And to round off the week we had Nina Loard with more emotion as her characters came to terms with rekindled feelings in her story A History.
One tie-in done, one to go. I was going to look and see what I could find for the number 62 but decided against it. So to round off this post I will simply say, we have been here for 62 weeks and we want to be around for the next 62 weeks, so please have a look under those beds!!!!!
Hugh
A History by Nina Loard
“Good luck.” Peter kisses the top of my head and walks out the door, turning his key in the lock. I sip my coffee, curled up in the leather chair by the window. Finally, the house is quiet. If I prayed anymore, I would pray. The job would mean more stability. Peter hadn’t wanted me to work when we married, but we are past that as an option. As much as I want to be excited for a new start, doubt rolls in and blankets everything. I’m not qualified for the position. I have to go through the motions to show him I’m trying. I hate wasting time. I drain the cold remnants of my cup and allow for one slow, arching stretch.
The Other Woman by David Jordan
Jason and I watch the morning news as we get dressed to go for a walk in the snow. There is a warning of a coming storm. The weatherman says a foot of snow could fall tonight.
“Did you buy gas for the–” I begin to say, but the last word won’t come to mind. I try inserting different words in my head to see if they fit: gas stove, Toyota, lawnmower-no, not the lawnmower during winter. My body shakes with frustration, and my head begins to ache when Jason suggests:
“The snowblower?”
“Yeah,” I say, “the snowblower.”
“It’s ready when we need it,” he says.
“Okay,” I say, and I relax again as we finish getting dressed.
Literally Stories – Week 61 – Seeing Double
Don’t worry if you can’t work out whether or not you saw double in Week 61.
I can assure you, you did.
No need therefore to visit an Ophthalmologist or a Neurologist or anyone whose job title ends in ologist. Your eyes were not deceiving you. There were two Allisons, but only one Cron, who made a double appearance, plus a welcome return to Literally Stories by Dave Louden.
Continue reading “Literally Stories – Week 61 – Seeing Double”
The Amalgamated Union of Pennames and Imaginary Friends by Leila Allison
There may be organizations more useless in the universe than my union, but I’m at a loss to name one. Just this afternoon I was seated at the wrong side of my rep’s desk; and although the gent eventually professed sympathy for my plight, I could tell from his er-ing and hmmm-ing, uh-ing and you-don’t-saying, that when it came to fixing a grievance, he’d be as effective as a chimpanzee pitted against Einstein in an equation smack-down at Math Camp.
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A Lost Cause Part 4 by Adam Kluger
Hey “Kamp-town Racist”… here’s a poem– doo-dah, doo-dah…
Roses are red, violets are blue–without your brilliant literary and sociological insights I wouldn’t know what to do.
Alfred Klumpner aka Drunk Holden Caufield aka Whitey
…
Across the Universe by Christopher Dehon
She bought a maternity t-shirt that said “Friends Don’t Count Chromosomes,” and she wore it like we were getting just what we’d hoped for. I spent my time praying that the test had been wrong. I listened to Imagine and added my own verses “Imagine all the people, living without disease…”
A Cat Explains Ten Ways For Cats To Protect Themselves From Cucumbers by Nicholas Roth
#1: Put a mirror in front of your feeding bowl. Cucumbers generally approach from directly behind and often attack while the victim is eating. Make sure the mirror is above you and tilted downwards so that you can clearly see the floor behind you. Should you spot a cucumber sneaking up, turn around to face the cucumber and back slowly out of the room. Whatever you do, do not panic and jump wildly into the air! You’re likely to come down directly on top of the cucumber.

