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Mom was a world class liar. Once in a lifetime. She believed that a solid lie should have few moving parts; this theory allowed her to capitalize on the specious notion that true-sounding things are brief. Mainly, Mom got her whoppers over with a confident attitude,brevity and something in her eyes that told you not to fuck with it further.
Continue reading “Good News Club by Leila Allison”
Adam Kluger’s Pooboogle is a first class example of the ray of light finding a down and outer kind of story. A form probably first thought up by one of the girls on the Ark. Yet Adam has not only updated the shape to fit the times, he still manages to find something new to say. I can’t locate specific examples (maybe the six fingered guy) as much as I got a refreshing vibe from the story. Maybe it is because of all the sour tales out there which attempt relevance by conveying steady rain and suicidal tendencies.
Continue reading “Literally Reruns – Pooboogle by Adam Kluger”
There once was a race of authors who had achieved a level of celebrity similar to that of movie stars. Even people who didn’t read knew these authors by sight. They became the “must gets” for the swankiest dinner parties and were topics of discussion at all lesser gatherings. Then it ended. Just like that. Inexplicably. Alas, few authors turn heads in the wild anymore. Stephen King might–then again his face is hard to forget.
The mysterious mass extinction of celebrity authors is a phenomenon that only I have noticed or care about. Which means I am either a trailblazer or just another deluded soul, a couple of moments of clarity shy of the asylum.
Continue reading “Week 370: A Mass Extinction, Four Moral Authors and Nine Reasons Why I Will Not Go To Heaven”
Roscoe was a three-year-old Dachshund who had a problem: his “Associate Human” (A.H.)–though in most other ways acceptable–had a thing for dressing poor Roscoe in ridiculous costumes and posting the result on her YouTube channel. Dachshunds are uncommonly dignified, and things like being forced into wearing a “Frankfurter” outfit for the sole purpose of the A.H. gaining likes and subscriptions hurt Roscoe’s pride.
Continue reading “Roscoe and the Lightning Glory: A Feeble Fable of the Fantasmagorical”
When you put out a shingle that says STORIES WANTED, you get a little bit of the good stuff and plenty of what you deserve for your impertinence. The “plenty of what you deserve” element is easy to describe: In some way something about each one in it sucks. That’s as scientific a way of putting it as I can give you. But the good stuff is hard to define; and sadly, some of the good stuff meets the same fate as the suck stuff for one reason or another. Actually, most of what we reject is well done, just the story is in some way incomplete, in our humble estimation.
Continue reading “Literally Reruns – Nose by Doug Hawley”
When Galileo published a similarly themed dialogue which featured a God-defending character named “Simplicito,” who had the mental acuity of a centipede and was obviously meant to represent the Pope, he had to recant or die. Fortunately the world is a little more forward thinking overall, but we still live on a planet in which religious “heresy” can still get you killed quicker than a Star Trek phaser. If Hugh Cron’s The Ten Commandments somehow got published not all that long ago, in the historical sense, he’d probably wound up on the gallows or had his head decorating London Bridge. One should think he wouldn’t have it any other way.
Continue reading “Literally Reruns – The Ten Commandments by Hugh Cron”
I love wild animals yet I know that some cannot love me back because I am human. Them’s the breaks. Still, I do my best to be friendly to the peripheral critters who hang around my hometown in abundance. Yet no matter how much I try to ingratiate myself to the wild things, some refuse to look past my status as a human being.
Fortunately, no majority of any wild species finds me disdainful, only a few devout misanthropes and the occasional bad apple. To be fair, I would say that a higher percentage of people find me objectionable than do, say, Voles. But, sadly, there have been exceptions to the tranquility.
Continue reading “Week 368: Adventures With Wildlife and Top Do-Overs on My Unsteady Jukebox”
Without knocking, Renfield entered my office pushing an antique television on a furniture dolly. The thing looked old enough to have aired the Lincoln assassination.
“What now?” I asked.
She smiled. “Every time you ask me that; every time I avoid answering you, and every time I wonder why you have yet to catch on.”
I leaned back in my chair, put my feet on the desk and attempted to look wise yet amused, all knowing but still a good sport. For I’d read somewhere that such poses are commonly associated with a tall in the saddle style of leadership that people find inspiring. Unfortunately, I am very short.
Continue reading “PDQ Pilsner Playhouse Proudly Presents by Leila Allison”
I came across this oddity in the stacks and was simultaneously intrigued, repelled, entertained and baffled by it. It’s very interesting and an irresistible peculiarity. Once you start reading this it is impossible to stop. Well over five years have passed since long time site friend David Henson gave us Squirrel. I think it is high time to learn what he meant by it.
Continue reading “Literally Reruns – Squirrel by David Henson”
I like this story because if you took away the enhanced visions and replaced each one with something commonplace it would still play out truthfully. For instance, instead of the mother’s skin changing tones, you’d have her moods.
Continue reading “Literally Reruns – Peculiar Folk by Frederick K Foote”
literally stories 