All Stories, Crime/Mystery/Thriller, Short Fiction, Writing

Stuart by Hugh Cron – Adult Content.

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Stuart died in prison.

That is wrong,

Stuart was killed in prison. He was stabbed with a blade between his ribs.

None of these sharpened toothbrushes or pieces of wood or shards of glass, an actual knife. The investigation is ongoing. Some poor dweeb will probably lose their pension over that.

Did Stuart deserve to be murdered? Opinions vary. Some would say he was a bad guy, others would say he did what he did to survive. I suppose it depends on their involvement with him.

The saying goes about certain people, ‘They sailed close to the wind’, that was probably Stuart. But maybe there was more to him than that. Not as a person, as a self-proclaimed Ned. (That always made him smile) He would steal, sell, supply and beat up folks for money. But that was why you didn’t need to worry about him. He would only do what he did for money. Stuart would never have sullied himself by getting into a fight, not if he wasn’t getting paid. He took throwing a punch as an affront if there was no money or self preservation involved. Many appreciated that about him. Or should I say, they were thankful for that.

Up until his mid thirties, he did what he did and was successful at it. He used the benefits system to be legal, played under the radar and had a successful career in doing what he did. Then the problem that arises to all those who should be happy with their lot. There came a chance of that one big score and he took it. He wasn’t successful and ended up pissing off a lot of folks who were a dam sight more scary than him.

He had a choice. He was relieved that he was given one. He could have had his back broken, there were no details on the specifics and he was told that fate would decide on what that entailed, whether it be death or wheelchair…Or he could do a favour.

Stuart chose the favour.

He had to deliver a package from Cairnryan to Glasgow. No questions could be asked and no questions were asked.

It wasn’t a surprise to Stuart that just outside of Ballantrae he was boxed in by three unmarked Police Cars. He was done bang to rights for the package. Stuart smiled as he was cuffed. He was happy as he believed that he had now paid back his fuck-up. He figured that he was a decoy and wasn’t expected to deliver.

He didn’t even waste the courts time. He was happy to say ‘Yes Sir’, ‘No Sir’ and ‘I’m guilty Sir’.

Stuart was amused when he received his seven years sentence. He had no idea how they came to that figure.

As he was led out after sentencing he saw a face that he knew, they gave him a very slight nod.

Stuart was now convinced that he had paid his debt for his fuck up.

It was six months into his sentence when he was stabbed. As he lay dying, he was heard saying one thing, ‘Shit, was I really meant to deliver that.’

Hugh Cron

Image: A road running beside a loch with green hills and blue sky.

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Published by gwencron

26 thoughts on “Stuart by Hugh Cron – Adult Content.”

  1. Hugh

    A eureka moment of the worst kind. Funny, yes funny as only human beings can be. This is a tremendous new take on an old idea. I have never seen it approached this way, not a bit phony, which makes it brilliant.

    It is unsafe to not have friends in low places!

    Leila

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    1. Thanks so much Leila.

      There is a line in ‘Once Upon A Time In America’, that states, ‘Life is strange as fuck’.

      I reckon if you write with that in mind, you won’t go far wrong.

      All the very best.

      Hugh

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  2. when I finished this I thought Oooops, which maybe understated the case but this was delivered in such a matter of fact and ‘light’ way that seemed to me to be the only logical reaction.

    Good stuff and though it the subject is awful it made me smile – I think that was the ooops. dd

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  3. Loved this. It had all the mysterious vagueness of classic crime fiction (‘do a favour,’ ‘deliver a package,’ etc). Also, Ballantrae is one of my very favourite placenames, right up there with Laramie and Rio de Janeiro. bw Mick

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    1. Hi Mick,

      Djibouti is my favourite place name!!

      Thanks so much for the kind words and continual support.

      All the very best my fine friend.

      Hugh

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  4. The tone shows Stuart as a happy go lucky character, who unfortunately stepped above his position in the hierarchy of the criminal fraternity.

    A well written easy read that slips between pity and judgemental thoughts about Stuart.

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  5. Hugh

    An unsentimental, realistic, and ironic sympathy for the criminal and the outsider shines through in this piece in a perfectly understated way. The old adage “live by the sword, die by the sword” seems to fit in this because, even though Stuart isn’t a murderer, any time one is beating the hell out of someone else there’s always the possibility of unintended consequences, like the beating victim dying of a heart attack or an aneurysm. So Stuart is not a nice fellow on that level.

    But the fact that he wouldn’t beat someone just for fun shows he isn’t sadistic, at least. And the stoic way he accepts his own fate is admirable no matter how he lived his life. The truth is that crime does pay except when it doesn’t any more and Stuart finds that out the hard way. One wonders what he might have done with greater employment opportunities. There are many among us who choose and would choose the criminal path no matter what their other options are or aren’t. The nine-to-five slog (which is now the seven-to-seven slog) just doesn’t fit the entirety of the population and they have to do something with themselves.

    I enjoyed how this tale follows him right up until the “moment of truth,” i.e., of death (and how that death comes about). There’s an entire background for this character that remains unstated almost entirely (like his childhood) and yet it’s THERE anyway. Hemingway called such as that the Iceberg Technique, where only five or ten percent of the ice is visible above the surface but the rest of it remains below the surface affecting if not creating the drama. Great use of sparse, unadorned, simple prose to tell the tale of Stuart, who deserves to have his tale told after it’s over just like the rest of us do. This is an ironic obituary that doesn’t employ euphemisms and doesn’t shy away from the facts. As such, it’s a piece of truth-telling, a “lie that tells the truth,” which is what good fiction should be.

    Dale

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    1. Thanks so much Dale.

      You’ve hit upon two things. I reckon the ‘Iceberg technique’ is something that allows realism to come through. If you simple tell the story from a specific situation, it doesn’t matter what else the character has done.

      I also reckon that most of my characters have sort of accepted the hand that they’ve been dealt – That takes away any writer judgement.

      As always, you make me think and consider.

      All the very best my fine friend.

      Hugh

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      1. Hi Hugh

        I believe there’s an entire class of people (millions if not billions of them) worldwide who have simply accepted the hand they were dealt. They do this because they don’t have a choice, but they also do it because renunciation can equal nobility. The way you can take a character like this and present him to the reader without judgement is a very rare writing skill, and talent.

        With all of your characters, I always get the sense that you know more than you are saying.

        That kind of understated restraint creates a powerful dramatic effect.

        A good story focuses on a very specific incident which sheds a general light on a character’s whole life. You know how to focus on the essentials and leave all the things that don’t really matter on the cutting room floor.

        Not an easy task to learn, and you have mastered it in dozens of pieces minimum.

        Your sense of humor is also one of a kind, a unique blend of brutal realism and an awareness of human absurdity combined with sympathy!

        Dale

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    1. Hi Steven,

      The best giggle we all get is an inappropriate one!!

      Thanks so much for your kind comments.

      All the very best my fine friend.

      Hugh

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  7. Hugh,

    I liked how pretty much all Stuart understands about his life — who, what, where, and when — is a mystery. Whereas those pivotal people in charge of him, and us, know exactly everything!

    And it ends on the same note — “Shit . . ..” Who knows? Certainly not Stuart. Me neither. I loved it. — Gerry

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    1. Hi Gerry,

      That’s an excellent point about understanding. Maybe when we try to understand too much, that’s when life gets complicated.

      Thanks so much for the comments.

      All the very best.

      Hugh

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  8. Sparse and cutting. (Pun intended.) Are we supposed to have sympathy for Stuart? Dislike him? The story leaves it up to the reader and is the stronger for it. Plus, after looking it up, I now know what “Ned” means. I’d like to read more Stuart stories. 

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  9. The whole tone & pace of this so utterly befitting a life lived according to a certain set of rules. Not a shred of romance here, & yet hard not to feel a certain liking for Stuart – the crux of his criminality being brilliantly summed up in that remark about how no one needed to worry about him as he “would never have sullied himself by getting into a fight, not if he wasn’t getting paid.” Superb.

    Geraint

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    1. Hi Geraint,

      Thanks so much.

      People are quick to judge and think too much regarding other folks morals. The way I’ve looked at most folks is simply this – ‘Have they done me or mine any harm?

      …There are some exceptions though!!!!

      Thanks as always my fine friend.

      Hugh

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  12. Hi Hugh

    A criminal with standards. Stuart had a code.

    There are people like this. I like the hard boiled edge to the story.

    The problem he got into created conflict and the solution killed him.

    He died like a man. Excellent!

    Christopher

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    1. Hi Christopher.

      I think when pushed, we all have a code or a line in the sand.

      Problem is, in different worlds, those are the things that will kill you!

      Thanks so much – I always enjoy your take on all the stories.

      Stay happy and healthy my fine friend.

      Hugh

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  13. Hi Dale,

    This may be out of order but thanks so much for your perception.

    I’ve always written by the 10%-90% rule. What you write can be ten percent truth and ninety percent story of 90% truth and 10% story. The trick is to never let the reader catch onto which is which!

    In saying that, no writer should ever put across what is real in a real situation in a story – Well!!!! They can but it should never been spotted!!!

    You cannot be foxed my fine friend and that is what makes you a cracking writer and an amazing commentator!!!!!

    All the very best.

    Hugh

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