This may go on a wee bit as my head is full of stuff. I should probably separate (I can never spell that sodding word!!) it all and make a few posts out of this or that or whatever, but what the hell, I enjoy writing off the cuff. (I need to check where that saying came from) First off, I need to say what a cracking four days with my lovely wife who I judge for staying with me!! We went to Skye. What a stunning place. Beautiful people. What a diversity of folks as well. I think I counted fourteen nationalities that I spoke to over four days. But fuck me, it’s expensive—I think only Paris could compare. However, it didn’t matter. We were together for forty years so we said ‘Sod it! Let’s go somewhere we have always wanted to see.’ Skye was that very place. I drank Talisker in Skye which is the home of Talisker. I had a few Drambuies, which was made for Bonnie prince Charlie. I got dizzy as every sodding place is so high. I ate superb seafood. Met an Aussie / Kiwi couple who were travelling half of Europe on their honeymoon and a wee mad mental Liverpudlian fellow who walked a bit weird. We both wondered if he had had an injury and he told us that he had. He jumped off a one hundred and fifty foot cliff, was blown back onto the cliffs. He broke all his ribs and shattered all of his mouth. He was a young guy and I asked him how his mum felt, he stated, and I will always remember this, ‘When I was well, she hurt me more than the broken ribs and fucked up teeth.’
All in all, I know that there are folks from all countries reading this…If you ever get the chance, go there, it is something that I have never experienced before. You just think two things:
1. Is this no a bit good!!
2. I’m insignificant. Mother Nature tops us all!!!
Before I get to my usual shite, (Not the stories!!) I just have at this very moment in time watched the A-Team. I hated it as a kid and wondered if I was being unfair. I wasn’t it was awful! That and ‘The Dukes Of Hazard’ bar the stunning Catherine Bach was beyond shite. I have watched a few times, ‘Starsky And Hutch’ and I reckon that holds up. There is social commentary in that that is transferable to these times.
I think what happened to Paul Michael Glasier and his family was crippling and I loved David Soul in ‘Salems Lot’
I do think that was a cracking series. I would say that if anyone fancies looking up something old and British, check out ‘The Sweeney’. (‘Put on your trousers, you’re nicked’ or ‘We’re The Sweeney and we ain’t had our dinner’ are two of the most brilliant lines I’ve ever heard. John Thaw was a legend and died far too young. Dennis Waterman passed away a few years back and had went onto other things. ‘Minder’ for example with the brilliance of George Cole)
It is getting close to that time of the year that fills us with shite films, shite music and shite sentiment.
Dogs and cats are all becoming more and more terrified about what cute clothing their deranged owners will make them wear.
Spoiled brats will have more lavished on them and the divide between the haves and have-nots will be emphasised even more.
There is one scenario that I’d love to see and it revolves around the ‘wacky’ sense of humour folks have at this time of year. (In other words – A bunch of PRICKS!!)
I’d love to see a boss give to their staff one of those stress ball thingies that has ‘The Boss’ printed on it.
‘HAH!’ They’ll say, ‘You can all strangle the boss now!’
I’d love to see some wee guy or wumin lift up a knife, stab it twenty times, cut it’s head off, set it on fire and then piss on it.
Not sure if the boss would appreciate the more realistic reaction to their wacky sense of humour against their staff’s hatred of them!
I’ve been accused of being a Grinch but the older I get, I realise one sodding crippling thing – Christmas isn’t about giving – It’s about loss.
Onto the stories!!!
Even though we had four new writers, the contributions this week up add to around two hundred and thirty stories! That can only mean that one man was included!!!
To all our newbies we give them a huge welcome and hope that they enjoy the site and continue to send us their work.
As always, our initial comments follow.
First up was Tom Sheehan. A legend, a gentleman and a superb writer. Tom is now closing in on 230 stories!! (Astounding and astonishing!!)
He got us up and running with, ‘Mushawie off The Hill.’
‘I loved this tale of the old war vet hermit.’
‘What can I say that does Tom justice?’
‘He excels at these, no one does it better!!!’
Next, we have a run of our four new folks – We love to see that just as much as we love to see all our friends who have been with us for years!!
On Tuesday, R.W. Owen was published. The story was called ‘Scarcity.’
‘The tension was well done.’
‘Sombre and honest.’
‘Horrible and gross done quite brilliantly!!’
On Wednesday Victor D Sandiego graced us with his story, ‘The Crying Girl’.
‘Strange but good with it.’
‘I found this to be a bit magical.’
‘At the heart of this, there is a hopeful story.’
Next up was Neil James with, ‘Ghost Of A Shark.’
‘The comparison with the dead mother and all works.’
‘Really decent writing.’
‘Clinical in a way but for whatever reason it worked!!’
And we finished off the week with Margaret Wells and her story, ‘Ghost’
‘This was quite chilling.’
‘Very well done.’
‘It’s a modern tale of male bullying – The narrator got this spot on’
And here we go with the mind-fuck…there is another word for it…I was going to say subliminal messaging but I’m too obvious for that!! (Repetition is the key – Just like four small meals a day!!)
Please check out our Sunday Postings and get involved. I can’t remember the last time that someone suggested a Re-Run of one of our stories (Bar Leila) with a few questions for the author.
…Moan, gee it a go!!’
Just think on a story that you enjoyed, give it an introduction, ask a couple of questions and we will publish what you send us. (Hopefully, the author will answer!!)
There’s essays you can write. You can do something historical (Hello Mick!!) You can write about writers or songsters (Hello to you too Dale!!)…Why not give it a go!! It’s fun. I’ve been gubbed for the last two weeks with some sort of lurgy. I’ve been off for those two weeks, still feel like shit and have my fucking work tonight, but the thing is when I did give myself a kick up the hole to sit down and type this up, I enjoyed it. Still feel like shit. Still hope my place of work burns to the fucking ground, but typing something makes me feel no bad!!! Give it a go, essay, Re-Run, what you read, who you read, whatever, we will be more than happy to publish what you send us!!
The first section made me think on this. Again I took this from Tam Cowan’s column in the Daily record a few weeks back.
He said that one of his friends looked out his bedroom window to see someone making off with his car. The man phoned the Police and they attended. The officer asked his friend if he could describe the thief and he answered, ‘Aye…He’s a cunt.’
I was going to finish with the ‘Skye Boat Song’ Which is the story of Bonnie Prince Charlie escaping the mainland as a transvestite. Sorry folks – I hate the word Prince unless it has anything to do with ‘The Ladder’, ‘1999’, ‘Purple Rain’, or ‘Let’s Go Crazy’. I thought I liked that song but no offence, it’s shite. I looked and all I saw was an Englishman and South African singing it terribly and whistling, an American wummin, an Irish group…All of whom were as Scottish as the queen of England’s tits, and then, I thought I had found it!! The Ayrshire fiddle group, so that ties in to me. But I watched it, It was full of fucking weans!!
So sod it. Here’s a Scottish group doing an Irish song, that if you say you enjoy, you get labelled. In all my years of reading, I have stated that I hate metaphor but by fuck is this one. Unfortunately, so many folks take this literally, especially where I come from, when they should think on the metaphor!!!!
Image: So many lovely images of Skye to choose from but this is a lovely picture of coloured houses on a harbour front with boats in the foreground and hills behind from Marushka Tziroulnikoff from Pixabay
literally stories 
Happy 40th Gwen and Hugh!
Skye looks to be a major upgrade on a neighborhood I lived in as a child. Gorst. Yes as ugly as it sounds. Used to leave pennies on the track for the daily train to flatten as it rattled the apartment every morning. Not much diversity in Gorst, especially genetic. Thank you for the clip and for the lovely post (poor fella bouncing off the cliff!)
Leila
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hi Leila,
Gorst sounds like one of those names we don’t want to hear in a story!!
I read Doug’s comments and wonder if the word is a bastardisation of gorse??
The wee broken ribbed fellow that I mentioned was getting pelters from his work-mates for his…emmm, not-working. It’s hysterical when you listen and folks trust you. (For whatever reason) as you can sit back and hear all points of view) For a story-teller that can be; content, inspiration, gold-dust and fucking hysterical!! The way I look at it is simple. If I take a liking to someone, I will never be bothered about what anyone else thinks of them. I’m the epitome of over-simplifying!!!
I have a great love for ‘The Bluebells’. When I was nineteen, me and a few of my pals went to Tenerife and each bight we went to a bar called ‘Paddy’s’ and normally got a few drinks as we all did a ‘Highland Fling’ to ‘Young At Heart’
…Well, when I say ‘Highland Fling’ I may be exaggerating. More an arm over our head and sort of ‘River Dance’ match up – What I’m saying is we were all shite and couldn’t do a ‘Highland Fling’ to save ourselves!! But we got to know the DJ and he always sung our praises and introduced us!!! On that holiday, I heard the best line ever from a rather muscled up Welshman. He said to me after some guys were annoying him – ‘You’re a big guy, help me out. I’ll take six of them, you take the other two!!’ I took him up to the bar and bought him five ‘Rusty Nails’. The last I saw him was in amongst the guys who had annoyed him. He had his arms around them and they were all singing a horrific version of ‘Delilah’.
I reckon I should have been a peace-keeper but then I realise I don’t like most folks – That night I was in self-preservation mode!!!!!!
Cheers Leila!
Gie the Fur-Hats a wee heid-rub!!!
Hugh
LikeLike
I Googled images of Skye. You anren’t overselling it! Beautiful and dramatic. I didn’t watch the A Team, but did see Mr. T in person once — his head anyway. He was dating a woman in our town. One day I saw a big ole Cadillac convertible drive by, and his distinctive haircut was behind the wheel. Anyway, good post and roundup.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Hi Dave,
I heard that Mr T warned his hacksaw about going blunt. It did. He broke it into sixteen pieces but did feel remorse when he said…’I pity the tool.’
Sorry – I’m sure everyone saw that one coming!!
There was one thing that we didn’t do on Skye that we wanted to and that was visit ‘The Fairy Pools’ – The sodding road was closed!! So another five years saving if we want to go back!!!
Thanks as always my fine friend. Your input makes me smile!!!
Hugh
LikeLiked by 1 person
Another fun post and I’m so glad you and Gwen had such a wonderful time. I’ve put Skye on my list of places I would like to visit. Okay not least because of the Talisker but the other stuff as well. Thanks – dd
LikeLiked by 2 people
Thanks so much Diane.
The other brilliant thing about Skye is the journey there as you drive past Loch Lomond, that is another stunning piece of country-side! Also you go by ‘The Five Sisters’ and Glencoe. My pal once said, ‘We are Scottish, we know what we have and have seen it but when you see the countryside the next time, it still blows you away.’
He was quite right. the only thing we take for granted is the expectation of being overwhelmed!! Oh and if you do ever go there, buy a couple of bottles of Talisker from your local Morrisons and stick them in your bag. If not you’ll pay around seventy quid each!!! Isn’t it a bastard that the place that produces it takes so much for it!!!
All my very best to you and Ian!!!
Hugh
LikeLike
Off the cuff may be, but full-on & very funny.
Geraint
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hi Geraint,
You have made my day. You see, there are a few phrases I adore to see regarding my witterings and stories. I am humbled when anyone mentions, truthful, real, believable and now you have given me ‘Off the cuff’.
I like that! You see, anything that comes across with an agenda or a specific is never really what I do. So for you to recognise that, I thank you!!
All the very best my fine friend.
Hugh
LikeLike
Dear Hugh
Congrads on 40 years, that kind of commitment is an accomplishment that deserves accolades in our modern world, or any world!
I read a description by Samuel Johnson of Skye from the time he visited with his drunken genius Scottish pal Boswell, at that time the local population was tiny and every single one of the folks in the village was one of the toughest folks you could meet anywhere on the planet!
The individual who took a tumble off the cliff and likened it to not being as bad as his mother has a profound understanding of family life!
I have Grinch-like tendencies myself, so much so that I often find myself gagging at almost anything related to CONSUMERISM and CHRISTMAS, because, like Tiny Tim said, that AIN’T what it’s supposed to be about! Giving a meaningful gift to show you care is one thing, barraging one another with more and more plastic and technological gadgets to keep the machine running so a tiny, greedy, grasping, unimaginative few at the top can prosper and hoard while the rest of us languish in paralyzing financial anxiety is quite another! Karl Marx himself made the warning that this kind of shenanigans is what leads to societal collapse…or the revolution (once they wake up, if they ever do).
As always, thanks for your liveliness, understanding, and unique perspective on all things, as wordsmith and human being!
As Paul Klee said (on his tombstone), “I cannot be grasped in the here and now, for my dwelling place is as much among the dead as the yet unborn…”
Dale
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hi Dale,
Thanks as always. Your comments are continually gracious, intelligent and thought provoking!
I agree, at one time Skye would only be inhabited by the strongest of folks. When I was there I only found two locals – Two cracking auld guys that I had a few Drambuies with. I was being a bit rude as we were in the company of a Croation dentist and his wife who stayed in Edinburgh!! To be fair, all of them were brilliant and I loved the mixture of ideas and cultures. I would like to have spent more time with the auld boys but I went back to the table as, as I said, I was aware of being a bit rude! So little time and so many folks to talk to!!!
I now work in Tescos which I fucking hate. I reckon anyone who works in retail hates Christmas. Retail is the emphasis and epitome of greed!
Love your end quote. It makes me think.
Many a thought considers a soul catching a kid when it’s born. Thinking on where those souls originate is either a counter-point or comforting!!
Thanks as always my fine friend, much appreciated!
Hugh
LikeLike
Dear Hugh,
Hi! Just wanted to let you know that I’m working on a fictional essay that has two Bruce “The Boss” Springsteen songs in it…
They are “The Wrestler” and “Queen of the Supermarket.”
“The Wrestler,” I recently re-discovered, has a good claim to being Springsteen’s greatest, or at least one of his greatest, songs of all time….Absolutely, 100%, this song is poetry in music.
“Queen of the Supermarket” is just a really good, not necessarily great, song, but it fits perfectly into the place where I’m using it in the essay, and it definitely has massive relevance in the modern world.
Hope all’s well with you and yours! Thanks…
Dale…
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hugh
I read your post too early this morning. I thought the guy on the cliff who jumped was magically blown back to the top of the cliff, not into the cliff bottom. Aww. The disappointment was offset by The Patriot Game. Filled with truths both sad and ingrained.
Thanks, Gerry
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hi Gerry,
He was a cracking wee guy…Although I really shouldn’t say ‘cracking’ when I think on the soul’s ribs!!
Glad you got ‘The Patriot Game’. And you using the words ‘sad’ and ‘ingrained’ shows an understanding and not the sodding bigotry that we have.
One of the best books that I have read that examines the ‘troubles’ (There’s a fucking word!!’) in Ireland was by a superb Scottish author called Campbell Armstrong. It was ‘Jig’. Soooo clever. I would love to see it as a film but if you ever read it, you will realise why that could never happen.
Another powerful emphasis was the Ken Loach film, ‘ The Wind That Shakes The Barley.’ That concentrates on when ‘The Black And Tan’ were deployed in Ireland.
My thoughts are simple. There was a totally understandable reason that started all that but that reason was lost when the first innocent / not involved was killed. In that book ‘Jig’, the best line ever was an IRA assassin who stated, something like, ‘I’d never waste a bullet on someone who didn’t matter to them’
Thanks so much Gerry, it’s always a pleasure my fine friend.
Hugh
LikeLike
All –
Gorst grows on the southern Oregon coast where I had a summer job in 1964 as an engineer aide (holding a transit and bushwhacking through the woods). The gorst was blamed on the Irish by the Scots, and the Scots by the Irish. Wicked plant.
Mr. Mirth
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ha!
Figures it was named for an invasive species. Ugliest little town you ever want to lay eyes on.
LikeLike
Hi Doug,
I’ve mentioned this above – Is Gorst the same as Gorse which we have in abundance.
I played a lot of golf in my younger days and if you landed in it you simply shouted ‘FUCK!!’ and then hit another ball as there was noway that you were getting it out of there.
Thanks muchly.
Always a pleasure to see you around and about!!
Keep being you my fine friend.
Hugh
LikeLike
Great post, great week with great stories. I laughed out loud at the description given to the police of the thief.
LikeLike
Cheers Paul,
Thanks for the kind words.
I think there could be a very interesting article written regarding descriptions given to the Police!!
Hope all is well with you my fine friend.
Hugh
LikeLike
Great post. Belated happy 40th, Hugh! I too am a Skye Nut, the island having been further enriched for me by the fund of stories told me by my late in-laws, both of whom having been born and raised on Sky crofts.
This might seem a touch irreverent towards the cliff-diving guy’s painful childhood, but I’m afraid the story reminded me of an old friend’s account of his uncle’s return, at the end of WWII, from a Japanese internment camp. When the returnee saw the relatives’ horrified looks at his emaciated frame, he shrugged and said: ‘Well, it wasn’t as bad as boarding school.’
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hi Mick,
I love folks who you want to listen too!!
My Brother-In Laws pal, the legend that was Boaby Donne was one of those guys. He travelled the world with his bike and a tent. He had a hundred stories and was one of the most intelligent and funny guys that I have ever met. Cancer got him before he reached sixty. The thing is, his reputation proceeded him. I still bump into folks that he taught (Maths teacher) and I still laugh as I hear the stories of him smoking weed in the class, having cans of Tennents Lager in his desk and him kicking the shit out of his pupils. None of that happened!! He was a very hairy man and looked like a Yeti. I honestly think he was hiding as not only was he the funniest and most intelligent guys I ever knew, he was one of the shyest!
He once told my Brother-In-Law that he thought his luck was in when a young lady he was with on a park bench started to breathe heavily…She reached forward, not for Boaby but for her bag and her inhaler – She was having an asthma attack!!
Whether that was true or not, no-one knows and no-one cares, it just adds to the stories about Boaby!!!
Sorry – I digress!!!
The returning POW had a belting attitude. Brave as hell and not lost his sense of humour – Good on him.
I wonder how a mixed Boarding School would go – Not girls and boys, more from different backgrounds?? It maybe a superb reality show, (Is there such a thing??) mix the Neds and wee thugs with the over-privileged. Now that would be enterprising for some of them and probably very painful for others!!
Thanks as always my fine friend.
All my very best to you and yours.
Hugh
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hugh,
Re your speculations about mixed social classes: fifty-odd years ago, I had the opportunity to observe that all mixing at university, where the mixture then was pretty much fifty-fifty between boarding school and state school entrants (many of whom were from working class families). Back then at least, most of the boarding school kids (there were honourable exceptions) circled the wagons and just hung around with their old school friends. I know that some of them subsequently regretted not taking the opportunity to broaden their understanding and horizons.
LikeLiked by 1 person