Literally Reruns – Troublemaker by Cathy Adams

Reach a certain age and you become invisible. As I write this I’m sixty-four and have been invisible for a long time. That appeals to me, but the opinion is not universal. There’s something terrible in the human mind that needs to vanish before we can evolve into something better. The sense of tribalism that extends through race, gender and age. I become angry with humor pointed at age, not so much because of my own, but from the cruelty of it. Never punch anyone who may not be in the shape to hit back. Only cowards do stuff like that. Young versus Old is preposterous. It’s like punching yourself in the face.

In Cathy Adams‘ Troublemaker, “Clara” accidentally discovers an upside in being invisible and uses it to her advantage. I am for that because when someone calls you old as though you are an inferior life form that has done something wrong, or turns the dial the other way and speaks to you as though you are three, they get what they deserve.

Leila

Q: Clara has a strong sense of self. Did you design her to behave as a protest against the popular, albeit rotten, view of aging?

I reread this story this morning, and I think Clara was always rather self-assured. She doesn’t have any real friends at this point in her life, so she has probably been a bit abrasive for a long time. However, in youth when your currency is your looks, being forthright is more easily overlooked. Do it as an older woman, and it is less forgiving. I think Clara has realized she has nothing left to lose. She lives in a world that is set up for the young and pretty, as exemplified in the Sephora scene. She goes in to purposely snub her nose at it, but no one is even insulted. Her theft and snarkiness aren’t even noticed in this place that worships beauty. She barely exists.

Q: This is one of my favorite stories on the site. Now that a couple years have passed, are you still happy with it or is there anything you might change if you had one more crack at it?

When I wrote this story about four years ago, I was concerned that the scene in Sears goes on for too long with her memory of being there as a teenager and the description of the mall in the 80’s. But reading it again, I understand something pivotal with Clara when she returns to this crumbling temple of her youth. The social importance of the American mall in the late 70’s and 80’s can not be overestimated in understanding where youth obtained its power in those days. Packed with young people, malls were where we went to see and to be seen. Clara was noticed there; everything was new and fresh. Now, the place has deteriorated and there’s nothing left for her. Where she once felt so alive and valued is now just depressing. She moves downward through the rest of the story to a wig shop, which is really a front, to a dive bar, the bottom rung of it all. As I reread this last part, I considered that she could have had more interaction with the man who initially buys her a drink, but the whole point for him is that once he sees her face and realizes she is not a young, sexy blonde, he has nothing to say to her. He even pities her. Once again, she barely exists. However, she maintains that sense of self assurance, even to the end, and she carries it out the door with her.

Troublemaker

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