Week 481 – Beginnings, A Sales Opportunity And It Should Have Been Dizzy But His Music Is Shit.

Here we are at week 481!

The year is trundling along quickly although April and May have been going on for ever. Well, a good six weeks up until now! 

I’d like to start with a more practical section instead of the usual shite that I type.

Within our comments to each other we had a couple of light-bulb moments…Or maybe stating the obvious…But sometimes the obvious needs to be stated. The first thing was a beautifully written, over-complicated, stunning but rather incomprehensible beginning of a submission we received. 

I don’t know quite how to explain this but I hate when a story or in this case, the first paragraph seems forced. Maybe ‘forced’ is the wrong word and I may be completely wrong, but I get the impression that some writers overwrite their first paragraphs. I know that some ways of thinking state that you should consider every word but I really do enjoy the works that I feel are natural. Those are the ones where we start writing, eventually look up and there’s a story more or less there. I think the best writing comes from the soul and not ten days of contemplation. We all have to work on specifics, time lines, continuity and contradiction of the events. Ages always need to be given thought but here’s the thing, the story needs to be there first!

The second thing that came up was the use of the word ‘suddenly’.  Suddenly is a warning word that ironically takes away the surprise! 

And the third thing was, if your characters have already been introduced to the reader, using their name with ‘asked’ and ‘answered’ is pointless. The question mark and response would suffice. The reader can work it out! I’m not sure if all these points came up within the same story! 

Quick question – Do folks in other countries suffer the same invasive shite that we have over the last decade?

You see, we keep receiving unwanted phone-calls from law-type firms who allegedly can get money back for us if we have paid for PPI, had an accident or been sold an Endowment Mortgage. 

I have been wondering where this will end up and what new off-shoots we will need to suffer. 

I reckon the ‘trauma’ aspect of every-day life will be a huge factor. But the one that has come to me lately is due to all that nonsense that is the ‘Gender Reveal Party’.

I’m sure you know where I’m going with this. I can see some unscrupulous
establishments being on the phone to all those kids born within the last twenty or so years with the sales pitch: 

‘Was the unborn you subjected to the humiliation of a ‘Gender Reveal Party’?

Did your parents allocate a single colour to your unchosen being? 

Was there cake that your mother tried to poison the unborn you with? Was it not Vegan? Same question regarding the non-alcoholic Prosecco? 

If you answer ‘Yes’ to any of these we can help. 

Contact us at
Iidentifyasacloudandalwayshavebeenonesincemyconception.com.

We can help you receive the compensation and therapy that you deserve. 

For a small fee we can also have your parents killed. 

Terms and conditions apply.’

The upside to that is the death of folks who have gender reveal parties!!!

Okay onto this week’s stories. We only have one previously published writer and that would therefore make four new writers. To all the newsters, we welcome them, hope they have fun and most importantly, continue to send us their work.

As always our initial comments follow. 

First up was our first new writer.

Austin Roberts got us up and running with, ‘Lucien Boneknitter And The Bandits’. 

‘Witty!’ 

‘The back and forth was very well done.’

‘Sort of an undead Captain at the pass near Kerry.’

On Tuesday, we had our second debutant.

This day belonged to Annabel Smith with, ‘Hands, Eyes Feet.’

‘Some striking stuff.’

‘This makes you uncomfortable.’

‘We are very vulnerable when we depend on other people for everything.’

We broke the back of the week with a wonderful writer and regular commentator. Paul Kimm had his fifth story, ‘The Trolley Workers’ published on Wednesday.

‘This is brilliant.’

‘Enthralling.’

‘This touches on quite a few issues around greed and exploitation.’

The new writers kept on coming!

Thursdays offering was Katrina Irene Gould’s, ‘Breathing Underwater.’

‘Very well written.’

‘I love a sauna but this is a bit different.’

‘I’m on board with the spirit communication.’

We completed the week with ‘A Starless Street Corner’ by Christopher J. Ananias.

‘The writing was rather lyrical.’

‘I liked this.’

‘He saves the rabbit rather kindly.’

That’s us done and dusted for another week.

Just the usual reminders. (Miss Anderson, I still think of you every time I type this section!) 

Please comment. 

Please say thanks if someone is good enough to comment. And have a look at our Sunday features and have a go. We’ll publish what you send us.

Just to end – Seemingly this is mental health awareness week. So let’s be aware of all those poor souls who REALLY need help. 

…And let us simply accept that the rest of us are all as mad as a bucket of badgers and that we just need to get along with it, embrace it and accept that it’s like taxes and death, it’s just a part of life!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

Before anyone slags me off – Ask yourself this – Do you know anyone who is truly normal? (Fuck I hate having to ask that question!!)

…Normal?? 

…I dare you to say what that is!!!!!!! 

And if you say ‘My mum’ I wonder who your wank thought is? 

To finish, a wee bit of music. 

I’ve been feeling pissed off and lack-lustre lately – No difference with the pissed offness but the lack-lustre had me thinking that I’d need to do something about it. Unfortunately I started procrastinating and then realised that I couldn’t be arsed doing that either. So I gave up and accepted my mood!

To try and put some life into me I decided to choose one of the livelier tunes. You can’t get a song with much more energy than this. 

I give you ‘The Fratellis’ 

Hugh

Image: Pixabay.com – a litter or screwed up writing paper and the top of a writing pad.