Week 469 – Always Listen,Honour Your Mammy’s Mammy And Never Crawl In Brown Water.

Well hello there folks!

Here we are at week 469 and time for the relevant round up!

A couple of writing things have come up over the last week or so and we thought that we’d explore them further.

The first one was choosing the wrong POV.

This happens so many times. Using first as the narrative takes away any chance you have of killing the MC. Also, how can they comment on what anyone else was thinking?

This is okay for a more essay-type piece of work. That way, you can explore everything about the ‘I’

Using second makes the reader cry out, ‘How the fuck does the narrator know all this?’

To me, this only works as a two-way conversation with the narrator giving their opinion on the other character to them.

Sadly, I think folks misuse these two points of view. Especially the second. Maybe it’s a case of the writer showing that they can write around this. But when they do that, it’s the story that suffers…And more importantly, it causes the reader to question.

I think the best piece of advice we could give is simply, write in third and only then see if it works using either of the other two. I’m sure if you do this, nine times out of ten, you will stick with your first draft as it works.

The other problem we came across was explanation dialogue.

How realistic is dialogue when the events are gone over and explained by two characters?

They know the events. Okay, for emphasis, sarcasm and despair a few can be used and repeated but overall – The two characters were there and had lived the story’s premise!!

So I find it very naff when they go on to explain the events. It’s bad enough when it’s all ‘tell’ in the narrative but, I think, in dialogue, it’s worse. Dialogue should be treated as if you are eaves-dropping – That makes it more realistic. Let the characters know what they know, the reader will work it out!

It’s a bit like half way through a story you read –

‘Hey Jim, see yesterday when we had planned to rob the bank and we did but everything went tits up and we had to take the security guard as hostage?’

‘Yes’

‘Well that security guard will need some of the food that you had bought from the super-market.’

Instead of simply – ‘Still thinking on how we can get out of this. Feed the hostage.’

Maybe folks who write this way use spell and grammar check but forget to think on logic, continuity and especially REALISM!!

Okay, onto this week’s stories. We had three new writers, a writer who is now in the less than 3% club and a well-established friend of the site.

As always, our initial comments follow.

First up on Monday was David Lohrey. ‘Deliria 2068’ was David’s fifteenth outing for us.

‘Dave can be fearless with what he takes on!’

‘A fair pop at a few topics.’

‘No holds barred!’

On Tuesday we had our first new writer who we send a huge welcome to.

J.M. Munn’s first story was entitled, ‘Of A Lie.’

‘Suspenseful and interesting.’

‘Lots of un-saids.’

‘This one stays with you.’

A special nod to Rachel Sievers who has reached double figures. Not many writers have managed that.

Her story number ten was ‘Old And Cold.’

‘Some witty lines.’

‘Her nonchalant attitude fits in with depression.’

‘Like all of Rachel’s work, this makes you think.

We published Adam Kaz’s first story, ‘The Random Roommate’ on Thursday.

We extend him the same welcome and we hope that all our new writers continue to send us their work.

‘I was left wondering about the old woman.’

‘An interesting piece of storytelling.’

‘Amusing.’

And we finished up on Friday with our last new writer, ‘Eileen Emanuel’.

Again, more welcomes and best wishes!

Eileen’s debut story was ‘Snow Happens.’

‘The tone of this is perfect all the way through.’

‘This is a sad little thing.’

‘All in all a very well thought out story.

That’s us done and dusted for another week.

Just the usual reminders.

Please, please keep commenting!

And writers, please remember a thanks is what your grannies would have insisted on!!

Check out the postings we do of a Sunday and please get involved. We will publish what you send us as long as we deem it suitable.

I’ve not mentioned the Re-Run feature specifically for a while.

Why not pick an older story that we’ve published and you enjoyed. Throw in a few questions for the writer and we’ll do the rest.

To finish.

I am a total tit for principle.

I will always cut my nose off to spite my face.

I’ve got fuck all to show for any of it!

However, there have been a few news stories and programmes over the last week that has made even me say ‘Give up folks!’

Here in Britain, we have many a club of open water / cold water / (HAH! There is no other type!) Fresh water / river swimmers.

These folks are dedicated and have principles.

That is admirable.

But fucking stupid!

You see, their principles state that they should be able to swim in these bodies of water in safety.

They have a point.

The problem is, all those said waterways have a lot of sewage being pumped into them.

So all the wee swimmer peeps are swimming in shit. They gripe about it, (As you would) they contact the press and news reporters and show them the shit that they are swimming in.

The media takes this on (Good for them) and do all they can to expose the water boards who are allowing this to happen. (And those fuckers are making huge profits)

All good then for the cause and principle.

Except for one small detail. These swimmers continue to swim in shit. They should think on the last time they were intimate with their partners without using those sexy enhancements of deodorant, penicillin, bleach and Vaponas.

Take pictures, collect samples do what has to be done but for fuck sake, stop swimming in the shit.

That helps no-one, especially yourselves!!

Hugh

Music this week is from Mr Elton John.

This cracking wee tune, isn’t played that often so here it is!

Image by Kev from Pixabay – swimmer in wild water with red swim hat and really grubby looking water.