My brother-in-law has decided to retire at Christmas.
I have asked him over the last few years why he hasn’t given up already and he stated that he was terrified that he would be bored. That got me thinking why I would retire tomorrow if I could and that is because I am the opposite of George – I’m fucking bored at my work!
I love when firms go on about work / life balance and yet we can be penalised for cancer treatment, bereavement or the simpler, not just being as quick as we used to be. There is no such thing as work life balance. One end is always up and one end is down. If you do one, you sacrifice the other. If you work, your home life is neglected. If you don’t work, you get no money and your home life is neglected – How in fucks name is that any form of balance?
I hate anyone who is a ‘Firms’. They are enthusiastic and believe every fucking preaching that the hierarchy spout. They don’t question as to them, their management are god-like and must know or they wouldn’t do.
SHITE – All industries wing things, chance their luck and hate questions, especially ‘Why?’ or the answer ‘No’
Do all you can to get to fuck out of whatever work you are doing as quickly as possible. It’s amazing how much that you can cut back on. I would rather have no holidays than have to suffer sycophants and management to pay for them.
One of the reasons I enjoy doing this is that it’s something that costs very little. (As long as the computer is working!)
When I retire, after I pay off my mortgage by building an ark, for minimum wage I might add, (No fucking difference there) I can relax. I will have been commissioned by some supermarket who has monopolised the building ark industry. Well, they already have Greggs, Timpsons, The Pound Shop Market, Go Sushi and as we speak are looking at a franchise of Madame Tickle and her cheese grater pods.
This will, the ark building, that is, all have been implemented due to wee Greta’s cascading waterfall of tears after David Attenborough is killed by a pissed off slough who is fed up with the nosey fuck watching him while he tries to get it on with his lioness lover.
Once completed, I will then be able to suffer my body pain for the three days before I die.
I’ll enjoy that time pottering about with some form of writing. Probably it will be stories of trying to stop different animals shagging or eating each other. (Aye guys…To all you serial killers out there, mad catholics, christians or whoever – The bible is factual – Without a shadow of a doubt a five hundred year old man could build a boat the size of fucking Africa!!)
That is of course if my feeble fingers have enough strength to pound on a keyboard. But if Mary Berry can squeeze a piping bag, I might just manage.
I have actually adapted that joke from Franky Boyle comparing his strength of ejaculation to Mrs Berry’s piping pressure. (Check out Franky Boyle guys – He may offend some folks but by fuck is that guy fearless!)
Okay, onto the stories that we published this week.
We only had one new writer, an old friend of the site, a returner and a man with one of the largest back-catalogues.
As always, our initial comments follow.
I normally refer to Tom Sheehan as our legend but I reckon we have a few more. Fred Foote can be put into that category. He is a fearless writer who writes with passion, conviction and truth.
On Monday we were delighted to publish his 81st story, ‘Equal Rights.’
‘Such a strong message.’
‘The girl’s point is put across passionately.’
‘This sure is one to debate!’
Our new writer was Joe Manion. We send him the usual welcome and we hope to see much more of his work.
‘Button’ was next up.
‘A pretty vile MC wonderfully written.’
‘An interesting conclusion.’
‘An excellent soul betting story.’
It was my turn on Wednesday with ‘Jacob’. I was delighted that this had been accepted by Diane and Leila as it has been a long time since anything whispered in my ear.
As always, I thank both those ladies for their help and support.
Amita Basu returned for the second time with, ‘Courage Anniversary.’
‘The writing is excellent technically.’
‘There was an interesting round-up to this story.’
‘A great piece of character writing.’
And we finished off with the gentleman that is J. Bradley Minnick.
‘Working The Dirt’ was last up.
‘The MC was very visible.’
‘The MC didn’t mind who they were.’
‘This was a gentle look at what it might be like inside the mind of someone who works on a different level from most of us.’
That’s another week over.
Just the usual few lines. We have a few Sunday features that you can get involved in if you should wish. Just have a look back and send us an email.
The comments have been brilliant lately, please keep that up!
To finish…I was having a look at the birthdays on the day that I started typing this (21st). Two stood out. One is the legend that is Usain Bolt and the second is Kim Cattrall.
When I saw that lady’s name, I didn’t think of ‘Sex In The City’ – Which was awful by the way. I thought of the Lassie scene in Porky’s. So I thought I’d write a few words about that. I know that Pie-Eyed Peety will be so happy!!
If you haven’t seen it, please seek it out.
For any of the ‘Enraged’ out there, it does show two consenting adults having sex so be warned! But the scene isn’t about titillation, it’s about what else is happening. The reactions from the girls, the boys, the Gym Mistress and especially The Coach is absolutely hilarious. When The Coach has to go behind the crash mat, it is spectacularly funny.
As always, I try and throw in the odd writing content to these posts and here it is. I love the medium of writing but when you watch that scene, you could never write it – It has to be seen to be appreciated!!
The piece of music I have chosen is due to Mr Graham Bonnet being just as loud as ‘Lassie’ when she was enjoying herself!
Image by PublicDomainPictures from Pixabay twenty pound notes scattered. and a cartoon of a work meeting with several people sitting round a table.
literally stories 
Hello Hugh
I can retire next year if the object of my retirement is to live in my Car. Of course until a hundred years ago the only retirement plan was death. But then again that was also when you had at least one demented relative living in the house whom the children feared (“Be good or I will make you wash Grampa”). Hardly the Waltons. But I bet there was some fun in being the demented relation.
All Corporations and Firms are evil. Not coincidentally they are designed the same as the Catholic Church. Which tells people all they need to know.
Ah, I see a “Imagination Retirement” in my future.
Anyway, to those people who say they will write when they retire I say no you won’t. If you let something get in the way once you will always do it. But to those who plan on staying blasted 24/7, I admire realistic goals.
I wonder if guys yell “Hey Lassie!” to Kim K. If so, I hope she smiles because she agreed to do it.
Another fine wrap!
Leila
LikeLiked by 1 person
Make that Hugh, Leila, and Doug Amazon Werst Speller.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Hi Leila,
What’s scarier, you having to wash Grampa or Grampa washing you?? (Weird that is an ‘m’ instead of an ‘n’ from grandfather)
You did ‘say’ something to me a few years back and that was something like, those who write, will always write…I now agree with you. Before, I reckoned that as I wasn’t writing as many stories, then I didn’t write anymore but not so. I do these round-up’s, comment and answer, so you are quite correct, I still write. Maybe not in the capacity that I would like but I still do.
When I looked at this posting something came to me and niggled at me…I knew there was a line about that scene that made me think on ‘American Pie’ (Eugene Levy is a genius!!!)
It was coach Brackett (I did look this up for the actualities) who had the line – ‘You touch her and the food and drug administration gets you for fucking food’ – And I wonder…Did the writer(s) of ‘American Pie’ take that as inspiration for the ‘I did my share of masturbation – I called it stroking the salami…But not with bakery goods’ scene? (Again, Eugene is the man!! Sorry if I have miss-quoted)
Also, until I was checking all this out, I never realised that the actor who played Coach Brackett was also in an other of my favourite ‘Cheeseburger films’, ‘Heartbreak Ridge!
Peety will be happy with the references as long as he doesn’t evolve onto Absinthe!!!
Thanks as always Leila!!!!
Hugh
LikeLike
I have to say I have enjoyed retirement, am still enjoying it but all I retired from was getting up and typing for someone else. Now, I type more, much more actually but it’s for me. Yes I wrote when I still worked but I didn’t have anything published until after I’d left paid employment, which has been pretty brilliant, actually. I think the main thing is to be ready, know what you are going to do and have plans. Also, try to stay healthy. I know that’s easy to say but I reckon it’s important – not everyone can I respect that.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hi Diane,
Anyone who has worked and able to have planned for their pension years, I tip my hat to!!!!!
I was ready fifteen years back!
I reckoned twenty five years working was fair. Unfortunately other factors like poverty kicked in and I had to work on!!
So here I am, forty years and still putting up with cunts with agendas, Napoleon Syndrome, sycophants, idiots thinking what they do is important and all in all general wankers who I actually do wish dead.
…But what the fuck – Bills need to be paid and more importantly – Fiends need to be fed!!!!
You are right about being healthy – I also think that is what sticks in some folks craws, they have to work but hurt as they do their job and the system doesn’t even begin to look after them. But if you are a leech who has never worked, have a rag-nail and have self-diagnosed mental health problems as you haven’t been able to access the trainers that you like, and are able to use the system, you become a well travelled man-about-town who tells their holiday stories in the pub due to your benefits!!
…Especially about the fake trainers that you were able to ‘Talk the thieving wanker down’!
Ah irony!!
Thanks as always for all your help and yet again, folks should realise that comments = tangents = Inspiration!!!
Hugh
LikeLike
Oops, I meant people who always say they will begin to write or paint at retirement.
Leila
LikeLiked by 1 person
Not too many people other than Hugh and I remember that scene. “Wooooooooooo”. My philosophy of work was do it if you need the money or enjoy it. In 1998 after many years as an actuary for hire (just as bad or worse than it sounds) I didn’t like what I was doing, and not making any significant money. We thought we had enough to make it until social security. Health insurance and expenses gave us a scare, but we made it until now. No one knows what tomorrow will bring, but I bet on disaster and horrible politicians.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hi Doug,
You are right on both counts. Maybe a decade or so back there seemed to be more folks who enjoyed their job than happens now-a-days and I’m not sure whether that has to do with acceptance or expectation.
Disaster and horrible politicians are phrases that are so suited together!
Thanks as always my fine friend.
Hugh
LikeLiked by 1 person