All Stories, Literally Reruns

Literally Reruns – Reminiscing: [WARNING! DANGER! SAFEGUARD the VIRGINS!] Adult Content by Hugh Cron

It was fun to see this again. Thanks Leila for dragging it out from the X file box:

Hugh Cron is second only to Tom Sheehan in LS appearances (both authors surpassed the century mark aeons ago). Yet Mr. Cron would still rank fifth* all-time if you counted only the pieces labeled “Adult Content” or the equivalent thereof. (*Mind you, this estimate was arrived at by a Liberal Arts graduate who recently halved 124, got 77, and refused to let it go until someone brought out a calculator.)

Now, this is not to suggest that Hugh is a congenital pervert or that the LS Editors are Victorian fuddie-duddies. Oh no no no. And although I grant that there could be persons out there with tender sensibilities–breasts unsullied by rough touches; ears saving themselves for “fuck” until marriage and so Mary Poppinsishly naive that they cannot clarify for the children the meaning of the whorishly stated “Howesa bout a fifty-fifty fer a pack o’ smokes,” overheard on the street–I still must go on record to state that, like most advisories, it’s necessity is, once again, caused by The Stupid People.

Yes, our friends The Stupid People. You know ‘em: that group who needs to be told that the plastic bags new things arrive in aren’t to be given to the baby or that the homemade lead-based pacifier little Roydeen Jr’s been gnawing on since birth has given her the mental acuity of a chaw of tobaccky. And these are the same people who see the correctly labeled “Adult Content” on something and get mad because they hate advice and then get madder because they come across mature language and themes that they cannot possibly understand and madder still if you somehow slight the Lord:  “Godfuckindam blasp’mee.”

Whenever someone points out something like “NOT FOR HUMAN CONSUMPTION” printed on a bottle of Clorox, I say “Score another for the Stupid People.”

Anyway, now that I have successfully offended three fifths of the human race, yet none of Hugh Cron’s dedicated readers, I present the first story Hugh published on the site that got tagged with an advisory. Like a gentleman, he waited all the way until his third piece before giving The Stupid People something to get mad about and hasn’t looked back since.

I hope he never does.

Q: The dialogue between the grandfather and grandson is flat out funny. But it also skillfully exposes a system that’s rotten to the core. The utterly limited life lived by the old man is poignant. He never went anywhere, nor did anything that would leave a lasting impression. Apparently his daughter isn’t even his work, and he doesn’t feel bad about it. Not one damn bit. I know a couple of third-generation welfare families, and they share the same gleefully defeated attitude (hence the rise of the juggalo “culture”). How many generations must pass before this kind of thing can be eradicated? Or is it already too late?

Q: No second question, just the opportunity to let fly on The Stupid People. Have at ‘em.

Leila Allison

***

Reminiscing by Hugh Cron – Adult Content.

Hi Leila,
Thanks so much for not so much choosing this but thinking about it.

Q.1 – This is a belter!
Before I start to rant – Lets get out the way all those poor souls who GENUINELY, for whatever reason, can’t work – My rant is not about them – It is about the ‘swinging the lead’ wankers that are an insult to humankind!
You mention third generation and I think that is the answer to your question. We need to break that link. I will nearly be 54 when this is posted. I only know seeing my mother and father and grandparents working themselves to fuck. I could never have left school without a job – Not because I would have had the shit kicked out of me but because I couldn’t do that as it wasn’t expected and I couldn’t have accepted that myself.
We are now in a situation that, as you have seen, is the hold out your hand society. The ‘I want so you have to give me’ wankers. And when they come up with a ‘reason’, that is worse! I hate them all. I have more respect for the ‘I want and I know that I can take’ folks – At least they have an honesty about them.
I fucking hate working. I resent every fucking second that I have had to work. But at least I have that wee bit of pride that states that I have paid my own bills. I don’t feel as if I am owed anything and I expect nothing. These fuckers wake up and look at what they should be given. Their word ‘should’ is not a word that many of us can understand.
In answer to your question – Those that will work will always work – And most of them will struggle.
Those that don’t want to work – Will find ways in the system to fund that. For us, it is too late as those bastards have been allowed to be here for far too long.
I fucking hate them and hope they all die very soon, them, their fucking spawn and their grandparents and parents that installed that attitude in the first place!!!!

Q. 2. The fucking Sensitives and pronoun fuckers annoy me equally!
For The Sensitives’ there is quite a simple solution – Don’t let yourself be outraged. Get out before this will happen.
For example – I am going to type something blasphemous so stop reading if this is going to upset you. I’ll even give you another few lines to bail.
You’ve been warned.
Bail now.
……
……
……
Jesus humped his mother and they both loved it!!!!
Joseph watched!
And God wanked!!

Now my point is if you read on and were upset, you are a fucking idiot. As soon as you see something that you think will upset you – Don’t read it. If you do and then become outraged you are a total fuckwit.

Now the pronoun fuckers.
Labelling goes both ways – If you don’t want to be labelled, don’t label.
In the name of fuck – Nothing should matter to anyone. I can’t stress this enough – I don’t give a fuck about your gender or your sexuality – So don’t fucking tell me! I want to know you as person and if that comes up then that is fine. But do not say on any initial meeting, ‘Hello, my name is Themthere’ and I identify as a Fig-Roll and am a Non – Binary A-Sexual Placebo Rainbow.’
I don’t give a fuck – Let’s have a drink and shoot the breeze like any two human beings.
How the fuck would it be taken if I said on an initial meeting – ‘My name is Hugh. I am heterosexual. I only like boobs and other lady-parts’?
And the funny thing is, if I had a guy saying that to me, I’d also think – ‘Why are you telling me this you weirdo fuck’!! But there are some very dangerous double standards – If anyone ever dared to classify a Romance as a Heterosexual Romance story – They would be slated! And rightly so!!!
So why is there no outrage at a story being labelled as a LGBTQIA+ Romance??
It is a fucking romance story – It is about the relationship between two people!! It doesn’t matter who or what they are – Romance is about a relationship – Fuck all else matters!!
I know that some folks would argue about the hardship of certain relationships but this can be across the board. It doesn’t matter if it is same sex, religious, race or even social standing – The story can be about these things, but you don’t need to classify it as such. 
Do we have these as genres – Mixed Race Romance / Religious Divide Romance etc etc – No we don’t so just state that it is romance and let the story take it from there.
More fucking labels for those who don’t want to be labelled – It really does my nipple-ends right in!!

I just hate all the double standards. I hate how some can voice their opinions and stick them down folks throats. And what really pisses me off is most people agree with what is being said, they see the barriers, the oppression, the hate, they know it is all wrong and it disgusts them. But woe betide if they use the wrong terminology or label and then they are crucified as being as bigoted as the bigots are and in fact as bigoted as those who state that they are being discriminated against.
We are actually living through some very worrying times. I hate to say this but ideology taken the wrong way can become fascism.
Censorship and freedom of speech is a very tricky balance to get right. I think there is now becoming a very heavy PC weight on one side and that isn’t good!
Stop being a fucking gender or a sexuality – BE A FUCKING PERSON FIRST!!!

Thanks again Leila – Don’t know how well received this will be but at least I will have given the idiot outraged no reason to be outraged – But the fuckers will be!!!

Hugh

13 thoughts on “Literally Reruns – Reminiscing: [WARNING! DANGER! SAFEGUARD the VIRGINS!] Adult Content by Hugh Cron”

  1. Oh my God, I was looking forward to this and you not only fulfilled my expectations, you have surpassed them. Mind you, I don’t mean that in a rattling the cage sort of way. I mean that I respect unvarnished honesty.
    Now, people new to you should take a look at this story or any of the gazillion others if they are confused in any way by your worldview..
    And anybody offended by Hugh, the Literally Stories HR director is named Helen Waite. Yes oh yes, gotta problem, just go to Helen Waite. (Hey, it’s a perfectly good public domain joke, just lying there.)
    Here’s to making it easy for God to find you.
    LA

    Like

    1. Thanks so much Leila!!
      This is a debate that any one who is going to be effected by censorship needs to get involved in.
      Music, art, writing, even birthday card designers and clothing manufacturers for example need to have a think on where we are going. In these times of enlightenment, there is a darkness that is hovering over all of us in the name of tolerance.
      Tolerance is what we all need but how it is managed and how it manifests itself is what is the problem.
      Hugh

      Like

    1. Hi Dave,
      Thanks so much for your kind comments and continual support.
      You are much appreciated my fine friend.
      Hugh

      Like

    1. Thanks so much Diane!
      Thanks for the support!
      This is a conversation that people are worried about getting involved in because they fear that they will be considered an anti-this or anti-that. Debate is healthy but silent compliance is worrying.
      Hugh

      Like

  2. Let me start with the story and say what a pleasure it was to read this one again! Great dialogue, plenty of laughs and the memory of it flooded back as I started into it.

    I agree wholeheartedly with you around the distinction of the genuines and the pretenders when it comes to hand outs. There is something truly wrong with a system where it can be more beneficial not to work and contribute in some way – like you my pride would (and has) get in the way.

    There is so much honesty in your “rant” and I know you well enough to understand that it comes from a genuine place of just caring about human beings and not about labels. I’m heading towards 50 and I’m finding it increasingly hard to navigate in the world. I’m someone who cares very much about people and I try to put as much kindness out there as I can (in between being a miserable, cynical fucker) and I’m painfully aware of trying to set a good example to my kids. I agree totally with the idea that people are people irrespective of label and have a right to be treated equally and with respect.

    On a personal level I don’t understand the need to add pronouns to my own communication but perhaps that’s because I have no sense or experience of being marginalised. I find this issue very tricky as I draw a lot of parallels to race issues here in South Africa and for me to stand on a soapbox as a white middle-aged foreigner and and anything meaningful to the discussion when I simply have not walked even a yard in another person’s shoes makes me uncomfortable.

    Like all who’ve expressed sentiments here, I firmly believe that people are people and that my opinion is only formed on my interactions with them. There are great people and shitty people in all shapes, sizes, colours, creeds and pronouns.

    It’s a worthwhile debate and discussion and I’m glad to have had the chance to read an excellent story and also to think quite seriously about my own world view.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Hi Nik,
    It’s great to hear from you!!
    Thanks so much for your comments.
    Your point about being marginalised is a very interesting one. I think that again there is a marginalised line from the oppressed to some singleton not liking you. If we are somewhere on that line we can class ourselves as being marginalised in some way. (Even one person not liking us means that not everyone likes us!) We are all on that line in some way or another. But it is those who look for fault when fault isn’t there that are the problem.
    Everybody needs to highlight problems in any society – But they need to make sure of their reasoning / intentions and what they are highlighting.
    Thanks again my fine Welsh friend!!
    Take care and we’ll ‘speak’ soon!
    Hugh

    Like

  4. Oh my! The Stupid People are at it again. I have a companion rant that I wrote while on a housesitting gig in London called the Invasion of the Shit people, and I just had a lightbulb moment that the Stupid People and the Shit People, although slightly different from each other, must be cousins. Sadly they took an oath and are multiplying at an alarming speed.
    As always, an interesting take on the state of the world.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi Monika,
      Thanks so much for your kind words and interest.
      I’m pleased that I didn’t get any negativity from this post, I was expecting it mind.
      I know that there needs to be censorship and that is fine, but there isn’t much thought put into it. It’s all about who controls classification at any one time. And all I can see is an escalation that is going to make us all end up being judged from a lot of our work that is fiction!!!
      And on my other annoyance –
      There is an old joke from this neck of the woods that states you can be an atheist all you want but someone will try and find out if you are a Catholic Atheist or a Protestant Atheist.
      My point is when we try to get rid of labels, there is always some twat who wants to label!
      Thanks again.
      Hugh

      Like

  5. Following the spirit of the rant/discussion, I’m unsure whether to agree or disagree. If I agree does that make me a sucker for all things under the light of the sun, and if I disagree does that mean that I’m just a controversial idiot who can’t get along with anyone. Whatever the verdict or decision, I thoroughly enjoyed this creative read. Yes, the swearing may have burned my eyes a bit, but nothing a few splashes of water won’t fix. Great job! 🙂

    Like

    1. Hi Terveen,
      Thanks so much for your comments.
      Just a wee nudge – We are always looking for some Re-Run posts if you are interested.
      All you need to do is pick an older story that you’ve enjoyed, write an introduction or spiel and throw in a few questions for the writer. We will publish exactly what you send us.
      Leila has done most of them, Dave Henson has also contributed and Joy Florentine has some coming up.
      Your comments have become part of the site and if you were up for it, we would love to see what you come up with.
      It’s completely up to you.
      Anyhow – Have a think.
      And thanks so much once again. We all appreciate you being around!!!
      Hugh

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Hi Hugh,
        This is an offer I cannot resist. It would be a pleasure to add some thoughts and throw some questions at the writer. I’m always ready for a word challenge. 🙂
        I will get back to you soon.
        Thanks so much!
        Terveen

        Like

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