Week 154 – Second Last, Panda Steaks And The Malevolent Hartley Hare.

Here we are at Week 154.

Well this is our penultimate post.

I’ve always wondered about the word ‘penultimate’, I think it’s a bit up itself. Why would you feel the need to have a word for second to last? Does that mean it was more important to come second last than last? Some would argue that but if you were in a field of more than three, it’s still not very good.

There’s only one thing that you would want to be penultimate at and that would be at an orgy. If you were a female, you wouldn’t want to seem stand-offish and if you were male you wouldn’t want to show off, so coming second last would suffice.

I even looked up to see if there were any jokes or one-liners regarding this rather pompous word and there were none.

The origin wasn’t even interesting.

So why is it there?

It is the panda of the adjective word. It’s just there and seems more important than it is. Sod pandas being adorable, I want to know if they are delicious. Then we could give them an important role on a grill.

I think they might taste like Peruvians and who could prove me wrong?

I know that I am going back on my self today but the reason that I thought on this was we had another ‘stoic’ story in and that got me thinking on pompous words. And from there me realising that I have only one more of these to do before we stop for the holidays and there you have my inspiration.

Another thought came to me this week that I wanted to mention. Here in Britain we had the death of a part of our childhood. Keith Chegwin has died. I’m quite sure that no-one anywhere apart from here would know his name. He was involved with swapping things, playing pop and getting naked in a jungle game.

If you are of a certain age and watched 1970’s children’s TV, well to be truthful, it is no wonder that most of us are deranged. But a lot of this had been repeated since the fifties, so maybe us being produced from the deranged is more to the point.

We had ‘Bill and Ben’ who were puppets with speech impediments, Andy Pandy which was a puppet who only wore pyjamas and had a nightly threesome in a picnic basket with a bear and a ragdoll, ‘Fingerbobs’ which were puppets being violated by some spaced out gentleman’s finger, ‘Emu’ which was a puppet that groped people and ‘Hartley Hare’ which was just scary. It was all matted and had a voice of pure evil. Please look up images of Hartley Hare and you will see what I mean.

Marionettes were big in the 70s – You should have bought shares!

Thank god for Jackanory, that was just elderly creepy men staring into your soul and telling you stories about being naughty and receiving a spanking or being good and receiving something entirely different. That became another problem!

As I said, no wonder we are deranged!!

 

Onto this weeks stories.

Four out of five of our writers are newbies! That is excellent. We love our old guard and they are our stability but as a site, we still need to attract new writers. Weeks like this are happy days!

They are also in wonderful company!

To stop me repeating myself, we welcome Simon, Fernando, Z. and Sarah. We hope that they all enjoy their time with us and as always, we want them to continue to send us their work.

The topics include, a phone-in show, a ‘spontaneous’ action, a short short, a relationship breakdown and trouble with the ladies.

As always our initial comments follow.

 

Simon McHardy was first up on Monday. ‘Pusher‘ began the week.

‘The pace reminded me of ‘Wolf Creek.’

‘A great example of an unpredictable story.’

‘I loved the thought of him ‘haunting’ his dead victim.’

 

On Tuesday, Fernando Meisenhalter, our second newbie, was showcased with their story, ‘Happiness‘.

This was a wee bit different as it was under our preferred word count. That was the reason for our thoughts with the story. I hope that our reasoning interested you and you can see why we felt that this was a fitting addition to the site.

‘Great writing.’

‘Good atmosphere with a lot of style.’

‘This is very different from a lot of the submissions we receive.’

 

Wednesday was next and we are delighted to have Z. Schuff on board. She is professional in her approach and has been a delight to work with.

Giant Pandas‘ broke the back of the week.

‘The story was very smooth and it flowed well.’

‘The subject matter was really quite deep with both insecurities and inevitability being explored.’

‘This made me smile at times and sad at times. Any writer who mixes our emotions is doing something right!

 

I just realised I have used the pompous word on a few occasions. I can’t any more or my hypocrisy will know no bounds!

So on Thursday, which doesn’t need any more explanation or a specific word for it, we had ‘Broads‘ by Sarah Feary.

‘The dialogue suits the setting and the characters.’

‘I really must stop grinning at murders, it is a terrible trait.’

‘There is a lot of style to this solid piece of work.’

 

And there is no better way to complete the week.

On Friday, the genius that is Mr Fred Foote finished us off with ‘Soul Radio’.

‘The rhythm in this is amazing.’

‘The logic of him rather being ‘the boy in the dress’ than the ‘black boy’ is so shameful to the society we live in.’

‘The dialogue was clear. There was so much wisdom and honesty in this.’

 

I think we had some cracking stories this week, so no change there!

Please remember that next week will be our last posting until the 8th January.

I think I’ll seek out some other children’s TV. Here’s to accessing ‘Muffin The Mule’!

(The internet might get this very wrong!!!)

 

Hugh

8 thoughts on “Week 154 – Second Last, Panda Steaks And The Malevolent Hartley Hare.

  1. Thanks for bringing joy on this dismal day. My boss has “kicked me upstairs” to inventory the warehouse. Cold as hell up here, alone, in this century old, rat infested, allegedly haunted by the ghost of last year’s inventory taking red-headed step child. Alone, cold Cratchit trying to warm his hands off candleflame Funny sounds abound.

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  2. The Ghost of the Warehouse knows that Disney is deep frozen and not to be thawed until a cure is found for whatever killed him. “It’s cold up here, Leila, coldColdCold…Colder than Uncle Walt’s balls…” I will make friends with the rats.

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  3. Nearing lunch I have a fundamental grasp of the Rattish language. Only have words to describe eating, crapping, sex, spreading disease and how to scare the hell out of an inventory specialist. Oh, they have a God named “Willard” whose name I am not to take in vain. I’ll be Willarddamned if I am to take orders from a rodent.

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  4. Just escaped the haunted and rattly hellhole. You wouldn’t think a creature that will eat anything and dedicate anywhere would be particular about blasphemy. Boss caught me sneaking back to my office. Since she sometimes monitors my posts, I would like to take a moment and comment on her high intelligence and inner beauty. Merry Christmas. We’re supposed to say Happy Holidays, but I find that only slightly offensive than rat bastard Willard.

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