Right! The story is done. A long stand in the pissing rain waiting for that bird. Fecking camera in the fecking phone pish. What twat thought of that? I bet it was some weirdo with an ear fetish!
OK now the easy bit…Oh fuck I do make myself laugh.
Fucking typewriter isn’t centred! Where the fuck is that centre thingey again? I bet it has fucking moved just to piss me off! BASTARD THING!!! Oh there it is.
Ahaa!! I’ve done it, there is a god. Naw there isnae, if there was one, there would be a push this fucking button and you can transport your thoughts into it and it would be done button. How come no smart arse geeky fucker has invented that…Useless virgin bastards.
Right that wee line thing, what the fuck was that again?
FUCK!! Where has the typewriter gone…Why can’t the world just fuck off and die!
Oh, it’s come back and there is that line thing. Now what is it I keep doing? AH FUCK!! Don’t return in the middle of a line. BASTARD SYSTEM! BASTARD COMPUTER! I wonder if I can cut it and then…I’ll come out of it and go back in.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY TITLE? Bastard! Bastard!! Bastard!!! Update you fucking tool!! Care in the community is too good for you! I fucking loathe myself!!!
Where is the fucking Prozac? Where’s ma tommyhawk?
Right start again. Title, name, Adult Content as always. I’ll really need to write something without fucking swearing!
Typewriter, got you, you bastard and end of line, line thingey!! Cooking wae gas!!
Right tabs and that, I can do that.
Moan Shuggy you are on a roll. Right before the difficult bit I’ll just come out and make sure everything is there.
FUCKING FUCKING FUCK!!!!!!!!!!! UPDATE YOU USELESS PIECE OF FLOATING EXCREMENT! FUCKING UPDATE!!! It isn’t difficult!! There are five-year olds that do this!! Is that what you are? Less intelligent than a snottery five-year old? If you had any pride you would kill yourself. Be fucking ironic, beat yourself to death wae this fucking laptop. Ah but no. You wouldnae even be able tae dae that right. You would probably be left a vegetable and when they bathed you they would shout, ‘Anyone’ for cabbage soup?’ And ken what else, irony would fuck you twice! The really ironic thing would be that it would be a computer keeping you alive. It would probably hump you in your sleep…And you would fucking deserve it you useless, idiot-man bastard.
WHERE’S MA BLOWTORCH! THIS FUCKING THING IS CLAIMED!!!!!
Right start again. Title, name, Adult content as always. I’ll really need to write something without fucking swearing! Noo Ah’m repeating myself. I’ve fucking wrote about dementia often enough, I’ve probably got it. Fuck that! That would be a valid reason, I am just an amoeba wae a big tongue.
Right finally. Noo where’s the picture? Ah don’t fucking believe it, I’ve no put it in yoan media thingey. This is not a problem I will minimise this and load it in.
BASTARD!! WHERE THE FUCK HAS IT MINIMISED TO? Ah mean…Right a brandy wae some Prozac this time.
Ah there is the fucker! Image inserted. That was fucking easy. I’m feeling all cocky noo!
Fuck! That didnae last. Link time. Sounds fucking gay!! Right Ah’m going to follow Adam’s instructions. The pair soul must be sick a’ me. Mair patience than a nun’s boyfriend that man. (Helped oot mair times than a nuns candle) Right that seems simple enough. Noo will Ah try to split the screen. Wait ya’ dobber…UPDATE!
Got ye! Fucking ‘Sneaky fuck off and let me ignore it when Ah need it Update button bastard’!!!
Right highlight name, shortcode, nae offence, shortcode, how about irritating the fucking life out of Shug code. Insert link…Gay again…Ah’m sounding homophobic…Insert link…Hetro fuck! UPDATE and as Ah don’t know the date, I won’t schedule. Daen nuthin’ is sumthin’ Ah can dae well!
Fucking breeze! That must be my record…An oor and…a hauf…Well thanks for asking, I don’t mind if Ah dae!