Hans wandered a street in Eaten-Notthemeatenberg, a small rural city in Germanville, with his sister Gretel. The siblings were about to go trick-or-treating. They came to a house and rang the doorbell. A man, with a prominent mustache, called Friedrich, opened the door.
”Hello, Sir. Trick or treat?”
”What in the name of…”
“God?” Gretel asked suggestively.
“Please… God is dead. We killed him.”
“Did you kill God!? How could you…” Gretel cried out and both of the children ran away from the horrible man.
“No! You have misinterpreted me!” Nietzsche yelled and hoped that no one else would ever do the same.
They went to a second house on the same street.
“Hope this house is better.” Hans said with a lack of understanding of either comedy stories or the fact that he was in one. They rang the next door and a man with a large beard opened the door.
“Morning, proletarians. What can I do for you?” Karl said, even though it was evening. Depending on one’s rebellion it might always be morning.
“Trick or Treat, sir?”
“I pick treat then. What do I get?” the greedy socialist said.
“Nothing… We get candy!”
“Oh I see. A Bourgeois Twist, as we call it. Here you go.” Karl gave the children five candies, one planned for every year.
“Thanks…“ Hans said and looked at the candy labeled: Lenin Licorice, Commie Candy, Fidel Fudge and Coco Castro (comes in a bag of two) and finally a Proletarian Popsicle.
“Might I have the candy?” The bearded fellow asked.
“No you can’t. They’re ours!” Gretel, who had just received the candy, answered.
“Typical! You bourgeois swine never share anything. You live off of the fruits of our labor. I never lived off of anyone. And, I really needed that candy. Ever heard of; from each according to his ability, to each according to his need…?”
“Oh that was beautiful. Did you come up with that?”
“You would think I wrote it but actually…”
A lecture began, but the wisdom of his teachings was well over the heads of two children in need of candy. So they left Karl Marx without learning the lesson of sharing, while Engels appeared in the background wondering why Karl gave away his candies.
Back on the street. “This is impossible!” Gretel said to Hans.
“I know. But let’s try the very last house on the street.” Hans said and they both walked over to the last house.
A man dressed in black, with a white beard opened the door.
“Hello Sir! Trick or treat!?” Hans shouted.
“Ah I see what you did there… you did a Me-slip.”
“A “what” -slip?”
“Yes when you meant to say: Pricks are sweet, but accidentally said Trick or treat…”
“Yes, you did, but now you are covering it up because of “libido-embarrassments”.”
“No sir I meant candy.” Hans said.
“Yes I understood that you are indeed randy. But let’s not make it weird…”
“You are making it extremely weird!” Gretel answered and both of the kids walked away.
“Let’s talk about your erotic dreams of your parents…” Sigmund yelled after them.
by: Tobias Haglund of Literally Stories