The Flight
The flight in question was operated by FunFly, Europe’s largest screw-them-with-hidden-costs-for-which-they-did-not-originally-budget airline. It had a long, proud history of disappointing already pessimistic customers, exploiting staff, fighting the good fight against governmental consumer rights protection, and facilitating the ruin of poorly-led destinations across the Mediterranean. FunFly’s owner, Charles Wilson-Wright, who could be generously described as a proper bastard, was an ageing tax exile whose favourite hobby involved fanning the flames of anti-immigrant/asylum-seekers/people-not-like-us sentiment in the country he had left for dust. This particular flight, FF738 Manchester to Alicante 10.45, was legendary amongst flight crews. Union recommended training for the flight consisted of a month in the Middle East conducting peace negotiations, a season working on the bar at any of England ‘s football clubs, and a less-lethal restraint training course with the Metropolitan Police. FunFly currently offered a day course on upselling perfume and tobacco. Two of the three scheduled flight attendants for the flight had pulled a sicky and so two reserves had come from the emergency pool, having been beaten almost to a pulp in the staff selection battle royale. The third FunFly enforcer for the day was
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