Insanity
I have lived in the same apartment since October 1998. That was not by design, but it has worked out that way. Until I settled here, I had not lived in one space longer than four consecutive years, including childhood. Something always happened; nothing has yet to happen here. The building was sold last year, but it was just a case of meeting a new boss, the same as the old boss.
In twenty-seven years my rent has tripled and yet I have the same stove, carpet and large bathroom mirror that has reflected me from age thirty-nine to sixty-six. I’m sure that you can imagine that the newness of the apartment wore off long ago and that it now resembles a lair inhabited by strange creatures. I cannot move during my Cats’ lives because they are both fifteen (one might be even older) and that sort of thing kills an animal. It’s like taking them to the moon.
Yes, it is all pretty much the same here, including the neighbor and his shower. I live on the second floor and three times during the last quarter century a tenant upstairs has done something stupid and flooded their place and sent highly unwanted water down to me. Three different tenants. I figure that unless you are a seafaring sort, or live on a floodplain that this sort of thing might happen once in your life, if at all. Thrice is way too many and ever since the last downpour about three years ago, I’ve become especially paranoid about watery noises from upstairs.
Like right now…
The shower or tub has been running for over an hour. It is 3:45 on a Sunday morning. I can hear the whine of the water in the pipes in the walls. I want silence. Silence is not necessarily golden but it is dry. I’ve checked in the bath three times and so far no water. I’ve checked the kitchen twice. Those are the first two places that yield to the tide. Nothing yet. Some might say that I have an unhealthy fixation with the upstairs water situation. Some haven’t watched water pour through their light fixtures, thrice–as in three fucking times. It’s like being inside a Poe story. I can feel myself slipping.
Sometimes life is a desire to surrender and discovering that nobody wants you. You walk around with your white flag and can’t even get shot for your trouble. It’s an ugsome vexation. That’s what happens to people, you know. One day we are perfectly reasonable then something happens. And we wander screaming stuff like TURN IT OFF!!! TURN IT THE FUCK OFFITY OFF OFF!!! at everyone we see. Nobody will even call the cops on you anymore. Such ugsome vexation.
Sudden Segue
Still, we keep moving while we can and when we do, fortunate circumstances will sometimes turn up. Such is the case here at LS with another fine run of six writings that began with Dale Williams Barrigar‘s monthly Sunday essay, Eleonora and Poe. Dale’s knowledge is stunningly deep. He presents Poe’s love and fixation with women and beauty and the poetic pain of beauty’s death. Tremendous. Dale is able to publish scholarly topics without causing the reader to nod off. Tremendous energy and thoughts.
And it was a week for tremendous stories, those about pressure and pain, hope and dissolution, beginning and end.
Amber Bell’s Hannibal, Missouri is a fine look at the difficulty of escaping addiction. Jade is a recovering addict, a parent, a student and a graveyard worker. The odds are stacked against her. She perhaps has set herself up for failure–only time will tell. Amber gives a statistic a face and voice.
Tuesday, JD Clapp introduced another addict, further down the line, perhaps, some might think, too far, in Alterations. But sometimes a second chance comes from an unlikely event. The descriptions of the loneliness and self loathing and yet the wanting, and trying to do better are all first rate.
Michael Smith lightened the mood on Wednesday. Is There Anybody There? is a fun look at getting what you ask for. The attitudes of the young medium and her contacts are brilliantly presented. And special kudos to “Sooty” in his debut.
Christopher Ananias returned Thursday with Potato Salad and Mixed Drinks. Christopher writes close to the bone, in the dirt yet with a keen eye and clean pen. The idea of combining the two title items makes me want to retch–and that is one of the keenly inserted feelings to the piece. It’s amazing that the human race has survived this long. Excellent as always.
Richard Hulse closed the week with Lizzie. I couldn’t help but feel a bit of Bonnie and Clyde, but this is far darker. For me the focus is “Charlene”–she is as smiling yet cold– as cold a human can be. When the ending became clear, a chill formed. Gripping and ruthless.
Kudos to all are writers and to those of you who support them with your comments. If you are shy to comment, don’t worry about it, a simple thank you is always appreciated.
And now, to take my mind off the water situation upstairs…
Some of My Favorite Videos of the 80’s
I constantly watched MTV in the 1980’s. It is only “music” by name now and is just another cable network showing cheap stuff to make a buck. But when MTV began it was truly a wonderful thing, late at night, when the daily pop rotation yielded to other videos. All day it was Madonna, the Single Gloved Pervo, Springsteen, Paula Abdul and Lionel Ritchie, but at night things got different. These are my Top 10 MTV videos of the 80’s. There are hundreds worth mentioning, but why drive myself even crazier. Additions are welcome as always.
- Midnight Maniac-Krokus (made the list because it is the cheesiest video ever made)
- I Want to Break Free-Queen (Freddie, even with the mustache, and Roger made nice looking women–the others, not so much; underplayed in America due to homophobia)
- Valotte–Julian Lennon (a grossly underrated, almost forgotten, song)
- Glamorous Life-Shelia E. (I liked it when she kicked the cymbal)
- Life in a Northern Town-Dream Academy
- What are Words For-Missing Persons
- In a Big Country-Big Country (this got big, but was on the night shift for a while)
- Sea of Love-Honeydrippers (the skinny guy in the speedo next to Plant–only in the 80’s)
- Come Dancing-The Kinks (got big too, but I still like it a lot)
- Yours
Leila
literally stories 
Hi Leila
I’ve lived in a few apartment buildings and neighbors do set the tone. I had a black man and a white woman living under my second story apartment. I never once talked to them and only saw them long enough to identify their races. I didn’t have much of a bed and slept in a sleeping bag, or on it. I kept thinking they were going to blow a hole through the ceiling and me with a shotgun. When their arguing reached some final climax.
The way you described your situation was powerful! I could see myself developing this apprehension and anxiety to running water, too. That ending of surrendering the white flag with no takers, like a soldier fighting this war called life, was sad and pretty great too (the writing part) ! Actually this whole piece is great! I’m glad to have met you! And to call you, friend.
Christopher
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Hi Christopher
Thank you and I am happy to call you a friend as well!
Violent neighbors are scary. Only three or four here over the years have truly frightened anyone. I didn’t hear about until it was long over, but one tenant pulled a gun on another due to a stupid laundry room dispute!
People are most dangerous at home and on the highway.
Thanks again!
Leila
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I’ve done the flooding thing thinking I was repairing a shower leak. After years of success at minor plumbing jobs, I’ve had a couple of expensive failures.
Many apartments over the years beginning with $100 a month split with other roomies. Now editor is moving us to God’s Waiting Room / Sunset City so I guess my life is over. Not happy. Lived in our current house since 2003. Most drama – woman asked into our apt to escape her French Viet Nam boyfriend. He invaded our place from a second story window. Place was torn down for freeway or something. Stayed three places one summer in Gold Beach Oregon.
We were probably the bad apartment people more than we had bad apartment people.
Keep On Rocking In The Free World
Roll With It
Wreck Of The Edmund Fitzgerald
Got To Give It Up
A Big Hunk Of Love (I’ll sing it until I’m made to shut up)
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Hello Doug
Excellent song choices as always. I read that people who listen to music and read and write live longer healthier lives. So, you have that going for you!
Leila
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Good post and roundup. I hardly ever watched MTV. An age thing I guess. I’m a big music fan but am pretty much stuck in the Sixties and pre-disco Seventies. Lots of those on YouTube. We’ve had water wars, too, over the years. Burst pipe that flooded finished rooms in our basement. Flooded window well that caused water to shoot from an electrical outlet. And many years ago, our bathtub filled with dirty water when upstairs flushed their toilet. Now we can laugh about it. Sort of.
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Hello David
Eeeeewww for the tub! Between you and Doug I feel somewhat better about my aquatic situation.
Thank you and stay dry!
Leila
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Hi LA!
You are brilliant at writing nonfiction prose and memoir, just as brilliant as you are at writing fiction and poetry, and the fact that you’ve been posting brilliant, lasting fiction and poetry all week on Saragun Springs, commenting and editing at Literally all week, and now posting this brilliant memoir/nonfiction today: all should make lazy writers and readers too busy playing computer games or listening to NPR hang their heads in shame, or at least want to do better! Your energy is awe-inspiring, and just plain inspiring. Even if the writing were of somewhat lower quality, the amount of it would still inspire. And yet it appears at high volume AND is of the highest quality! Natural talent for sure; but also dedication, plain and simple. So admirable, almost beyond belief! Super-human-seeming. A goddess of the written word. No joke! I will never let you be alone, except when you want to.
The Drifter
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Hello Drifter
Yes, it is the little things (like Buk’s snapping shoelace) that do us in!
Life has its slow, tortures along with the good stuff. But I swear, if I ever move from here I will be on the top floor!
Thanks again and I look forward to your Springs’ column tomorrow!
Leila
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I can understand the paranoia. Most of the apartments we have lived in were in the middle east and were surprisingly well built but I lived in a victorian terrace conversion in Portsmouth and, yes, I had the water through the light fitting thing. Only once fortunately. However we did it to ourselves once when we had a dark room in our loft space and one of us ! (not me) spilled a container of developing liquid and it came through into the bedroom. That stuff stinks!. I hope they have turned it off now and are not dead! Great post as always. Thank you – dd
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Hi Diane
Oh indeed seeing water come through the fixtures is a gruesome sight! I have smelled that solution, eew wee! Thanks again for your support!
Leila
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LA
I had some folks who started up a whorehouse in the apartment above me. In eight years of living here, it was the only time something like that happened. As soon as I met the young woman who was renting the apartment above, I knew there was trouble brewing. Sure enough, the very first night there were large arguments about cocaine deals gone wrong and threatening to shoot each other. Very soon after various ladies of the evening started appearing at all hours of the day and night, floating up and down the staircases wearing long, colorful wigs, bright dresses, long eyelashes, and enough perfume to drown an elephant. Very friendly, and very shady, and the noises which came from the apartment all night long are not worth describing. Within three months, dozens, or even hundreds, of people had all succeeded in completely destroying the apartment. The police were called on them (not by me) many times. It took the landlord and his crew a month to re-do the apartment above; including new carpet, new paint job, etc etc. Like I said, it only happened once, but once was enough! And they all vanished as suddenly as they’d appeared.
The D
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Hi Dale
A long time ago I lived in a duplex and the neighbor was obviously dealing. People in and out around the clocj, especially weekends. Then the cops came about six months end to arrest the guy. I never cared because I thought he was just selling weed– but I guess he sold what was st the time called crank, and it sunk him.
Thanks again!
Leila
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LA
Brilliant Julian song I’d never heard of, thanks for sharing, and the other videos too! Love to see him carrying on his dad’s work in that way…
2 brilliant ’80s videos I always remember are “Jokerman” by Dylan (1983) and “Hard Woman” by Mick Jagger (solo) (1985).
D
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Hello Dale
Those are great tunes as well. It was a pity that MTV had to act like a top 40 station. I understand hits getting played, but not twice an hour–such a good idea, overall but money ruined it.
Thank you!
Leila
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Hi Leila,
I understand the water problem. I once had a boiler where the thermostat didn’t work, it just kept heating until it spouted out the safety valve and through my kitchen ceiling!
Neighbours are overrated. I don’t like having so many people around me. In the scheme where I live I think there are around 1400 houses. For me that’s 1399 too many!
There are a couple of videos that I’ll need to check out. The Julian Lennon song I remembered as soon as I heard it. I think that was around the same time as ‘Because’ and ‘Too Late For Goodbyes.’
The Sheila E song, I’ll need to check out but I think she started out with Prince and I think there was a song called, something like ‘The Bells Of St Mark’???
For different viewing and listening reasons I would add in:
Lloyd Cole And The Commotions – Lost Weekend.
The Icicle Works – Understanding Jane
Doctor And The Medics – Burning Love.
Phyll Lynott and Gary Moore – Out In The Fields.
Excellent as always Leila!!
Hugh
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Hello Hugh
Those are good choices too! I belive I could think of a hundred good ones, or interesting ones, from then. Devo, for instance, Cyndi Lauper. Good call on Sheila E., she was with Prince and Morris Day as a drummer.
Julian was hampered, I think, because he looked and sounded so much like his father. Uncanny. But he did make his own marl regardless!
Thank you!
Leila
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Thanks Leila! I’d never heard that Julian Lennon – goin’ to seek it out.
My pick: Tom Waits ‘Jersey Girl’
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Hi Mick
Tom Waits is an excellent choice for any decade.
Thank you!
Leila
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As an adult, my experience with communal living has been limited to four years on a US Navy ship, which has nightmare stories of its own, and fifteen years in New Jersey, which sounds like the title of a horror story. And, I guess it was, in some ways.
Water had a part in that. The retired nun who lived next door died and a developer tore her house down, taking our outside wall with it. He promised to fix it (yeah, right) and in the meanwhile, we had a “life threatening cold front” visit in which pipes burst all through the house like small arms fire. The thaw was disastrous, and made all the more so by my warning the members of the HOA of everything that eventually happened. Ah, but I got to kick in the door of the hated downstairs neighbor to get to the only water shutoff for the whole building. Damn, that felt good.
The summer before my senior year in high school, I took a job as a roofer. We would race over to Adam’s grandmother’s house at lunch so we could watch approximately four videos before we had to go back to work. Summer of ’85, if you must ask. Money for Nothing. St. Elmo’s Fire. Everybody Wants to Rule the World. And a lot of Sting and Phil Collins, both of whom I did not enjoy.
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Hi Thurman
Thank you! “Fifteen Years in New Jersey” to me, sounds like a brilliant and somewhat scary title on its own!
Ye gods, I forgot about Phil and Sting–you are dead on there. I really hated Sususudeo (or however it is spelled); and although I admit I am in the minority I do not like Sting or the Police. Something about his voice crawls up my nerves. Same goes for Bon Jovi and Poison. But none of those guys need my approval.
Thanks again!
Leila
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Hi Leila,
Just commented on David’s story today and it made me remember the brilliant video of ‘Two Tribes’ by ‘Frankie Goes To Hollywood’.
However, today, Putin may put in Trump!!!!!
Hugh
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Hi Hugh
Frankie Goes to Hollywood scored perhaps the “dirtiest” song ever. That was brilliant!
I wonder why Russia can never get a good goverment. It was headed that way in the 80’s and 90’s then Vlad rode in bare chested on his Horse.
Thanks again!
Leila
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