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Week 516: More Wonky and Wise Words

ireneallison12

 

Wonky Words

This week I again lost the battle of prescription v. “perscription.” It is a secret (well, not anymore) shame that inspires another look at certain words.

We all have our prejudices. These range from the meaningful to the downright insipid. Oddly, I find foolish prejudices more interesting and perhaps better telling of a person’s character.

I was painfully shy as a child. So much that I developed a strange speech impediment. It was as though I swallowed the words I spoke instead of projecting them. I also had a mild stammer caused mainly by nerves. All this went away by the time I was eight, but during that time I developed a poor relationship with certain sounds in some words, because they were hard for me to say and think. Thus to this day I still bear a grudge against some perfectly innocent words and do not use them if there is any other way around the fuckers.

Multiple “u” sounds are hard on me. Continuous and aluminum get stuck in my mind and whenever I try to speak the latter I get lost in the middle and come off like Porky Pig attempting a tongue twister. Yes, there are blameless words whose noise I intensely dislike. I’m not talking only baby words such as “tummy” and “poo-poo” (both rightfully despised as they should be by any thinking mind), but inoffensive words such as credulous, delicious, grumpy, gurgle, gastronomy, bubbly, juicy, smirk and ululate (the last I attempted once and nearly needed hospitalization) piss me off for some reason. And if I had to choose a word whose sound I hate the most, the winner would be “moist.” I really do hate that word. Something about the “oy” gets on my nerves.

I believe we have all heard it said that people who talk more than read tend to misspell words and those who read more than talk tend to mispronounce. Although I’m “good” at both, I find there is truth in that, which leads to the talkers producing the written sins “should, would and could of” and “intensive purposes” because that’s how they sound when spoken. Talkers often use slang and “like” not as a simile, but as a strange conjunction peculiar to the slack-jawed element.

Ah, but there’s plenty of embarrassment to go around for the readers as well. I once said “ack-queeze-zee” (or something just as dumb) when I first attempted acquiesce. I knew what it meant but I had never heard it said before; same went for archetypal when “archy-tipple” fell from my mouth. I know I should have looked them up as I did sanguine, which prevented something stupid like “san-goo-nine,” which even I knew couldn’t be right.

Another group of words I have trouble with are the ones that have something in the middle for me to trip over; these are mainly proper nouns: Venezuela, Barbara, Dorothy. Yet the worst one for me is the fifty different ways to spell and say Britney–including the one that refers to the UK.

But there are a few words I dislike for a good reason; these are words that really don’t, or should not exist. These hang around the edges of the language and often get in because of their pernicious nature, their refusal to go away. Regardless, there is no good reason why irregardless should be considered a word. Offputting is another that clings to the language hoping for legitimacy. I believe that “ain’t” is the success story that inspires such words to hang in there.

Well, no matter the year, some things remain the same. My segues are still as awkward as ever (this one would benefit from a safety belt). Still, please share any of your bugaboos. Somehow I imagine there is a mirthful soul who has issues with issues.

 Wise Words

The wonderfully thriving Sunday feature often causes six items to show up in the Weekly Wrap. This is the case again this week with All-Souls Hangout by Tom Sheehan. It is Tom’s 226th with us. If this were a sporting league, he would have wrapped up the Supporter’s Shield a long time ago. Although it is different in tone, thus best qualified as a Sunday piece, it is also typical of Tom to take different angles successfully.

Monday featured Dial 1 For Heaven by N.J. Delmas. It proves that there is much magic to be found in a simple premise as long as it is done well. At first it seems so damned easy, maybe too easy. But the sweetness and sadness of the idea gets over beautifully.

Alain Kerfs took a common (all too common in both life and fiction) scenario and breathed poetic light into it on Tuesday with Safe House. There is irony in the title and the piece causes tension to rise in the mind, and you find yourself rooting for the MC; hoping for her future. Lovely little touches and ruminations throughout.

M.S. Neison hit the middle of the week with Parts of Speech. It shows that we are under constant scrutiny by a power even more dreadful than social media, namely, ourselves. This is also an effective and tense piece, in which the meanings of the constant flow of the words is less important than spelling them correctly. That’s fine in a Bee, for that is the soul of the activity, but on the stage of life they take a far different meaning.

The late Ed N White appeared again on Thursday with The Charm. Although Ed has only one more story to go, it is comforting to know that his work will always be in our archives, just a reach away. Ed understood the meaning of mortality, yet instead of fretting he created something from the subject. He was a remarkable man, really.

Sanctuary by Patricia Ljutic closed week 516. The library is a great source of comfort as well as for the bound dreams on the shelves. But, anymore, in a world in which some places want to make sleeping outdoors a crime, even when shelters are filled, it is something greater. A place to go, often the only place. I used to say wise things about libraries turning into homeless shelters, I don’t do that anymore. Patricia puts a face on the sadness and a writer cannot possibly do better than that.

We thank our six writers. Their mixture of hope and despair gave the week a badly needed dose of class. And before we close, I remind each and all that the Sunday Features is always open for submissions. Dale Williams Barrigar and Mick Bloor have added greatly to it, so participation is always welcome.

 Under- and Over-loved Words

Although these change over the years (I once used “rad” like I owned the damn thing in the 1980’s, and “Coolio” in place of cool in the 90’s–usually when blasted), there are some words that remain changeless over the decades. Therefore I present my lists of loved and hated words. Audience participation is not only encouraged, but begged for.

 Under-loved Words:

Taciturn

Odious

Unctuous (despite all the u’s)

Sticktoittiveness

Bootless Inquisition (Shakespeare for blowing someone off in The Tempest (Prospero ignored Miranda’s question)–two words, so sue me)

Shitstix (R-rated version of fiddle-sticks, gentler than the all out “fuckstix”)

Knothead (has fallen out of common use)

Frolick (One must frolick like nobody’s watching)

Mince (One may mince when somebody’s watching)

Caper (One may caper alone, like Billy Jack)

 Overloved words (nearly all are corporate)

Unfortunately (sugar coated bad news is a comin’ ’round the bend)

Brand (save that for the Ponderosa)

Diversity (includes everyone in the sales demographic, usually not you)

Disorder (sometimes “just plain nuts” explains it)

Associate (aka, “scapegoat”)

Creator (aka, “pretentious asshole”)

Influencer (hate this almost as much as I do “moist”)

Virtual (should not mean “cheap”)

Disposable-resources (as in walled-in dead pyramid builders or retail “associates”)

 

All yours

Leila

 Hey, let’s end with a song!

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Published by ireneallison12

31 thoughts on “Week 516: More Wonky and Wise Words”

  1. Dear Leila
    Barracuda, barefaced (as in a lie), barracho, barn door (okay, two), bareknuckle, and barnacle are a few words that don’t get used enough any more.
    Existential (in a creative way), endocrine, exorbitant, exuberant, and exude are a few words that could be added to spice up anyone’s vocab.
    Dalliance, divergence, doorknob, dolorous, divisive, distinct, disrepair, and discrepancy are a few words I think writers should consider employing more often.
    Kangaroo, clangorous, claw-like, clambake, cacophonous, calibrate, calligraphy, come to mind, as do namesake, nemesis, netherworld, neverland, never mind (ok, two), noxious, Nostradamus, and nevertheless should all be considered possible contenders for something.
    Also massive, montage, matriculate, marathon, Molotov cocktail, munch, masticate, muster, milch, mysterium all seem to be words that can hold their own somehow.
    Nonesuch, nondescript, novitiate, November, nonchalant, nefarious, numerous, come tripping off the tongue with incorrect p’onunciations.
    Poltergeist, parish priest, prevaricate, predominate, preponderancy, preparations, preparedness, pontificate, prolix, poisonous and posh can be used in a pinch.
    Solipsistic, scientific, sanctify, torturous, tyrannical, tarantula, tundra, tendentious, typify, all come off the top of my head like ALL of these.
    Topmost, truncate, terminate, undulate, unctuous, underfunded, verifiable, vast, veracity, vixen, wanderlust, wonderland, wonderful, wonder-filled, woeful, wonky, wisecrack, wish list, wimp, wannabe, xylophone, yonder, yokel, yahoo, zoological, Zoroastrian, Zoro, zilch are also words I think of fondly.
    Thanks for providing the chance to ponder the perplexing usage of unusual and/or overused words!
    I have to go now cuz I’m writing an essay about you!
    More soon when I check back 2 C if U responded…
    D

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      1. Hi Dale
        That’s an amazing list, not just for the thought put into it but also for the remarkable quickness of it!

        You have reminded me of exhume; saying “X-zoom” doesn’t match what is printed. Granted, that is true abouts scores even hundreds of words, but that one has always vexed me.
        Thank you again!
        Leila

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      2. Thank you, Leila!
        I just want to reiterate, restate, and repeat that I didn’t cheat, and it was all off the top of my head within minutes, although I didn’t time it!
        I’ve also noticed that a lot of people say “posta” for supposed to…like, “I’m posta go to the post office”…I don’t know how “supposed to” became “posta” but somehow it did, at least in my part of the Midwest! Thanks for the opportunity to play this Literary and Real World Word Game today! Your prose style is astonishingly good in every respect…I was reading you again last night on Saragun Springs and was wowed by it.
        D

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  2. Hi Leila,
    I can relate to these word conniptions (which I just pronounced wrong to my ex-wife the grammar and spelling expert). Glad she is here to set me straight. lol. Sometimes I’m half afraid to speak–for a sure fuck up to come… “Scared Straight” like that old documentary about Railway State Prison. When I first heard “fuck” on regular TV in the 80s. Of course I never mispronounce fuck being one of the first words I learned–and learned well. I dance around words too. Wish I could think of a few…
    I have trouble with a lot of words. I want to spell (alot) instead of a lot and of course (ofcourse)–every time, muscle memory I guess.
    This a fun end and endless topic you have chosen! I figured I’d throw in my two or three cents in-for what it’s worth.
    PS
    I have trouble with saw/seen, run/ran who/whom in/into but getting better as I digress off topic.
    Christopher

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  3. My mind will forever pay a visit to my beloved dad when this subject is raised and the many years we had to bite our tongues when he pronounced epitome as ‘ep it home’ We should have found a way to let him know but never did. My ex daughter in law had no such qualms (now that’s one that I love because to me they are small brown creatures with stiff fur and big eyes – not having any qualms is a sad place to be unless you are my ex daughter in law who delighted in correcting my admittedly northern Englash pronouciation and Seeg for segue and kin-oa for quinoa gave her endless delight. My daughter lives in a rather swish townlet in Somerset called Bradford upon Avon – I come from a city in the north called Bradford. It is very difficult for me to explain the constant battle I have with my family over the pronounciation of the townlet. Bradford in Yorkshire is Bratfud and always with be whereas in Somerset there is a place called BraDFord – it’s a funny world but words are enormous fun. Thanks for this enjoyable read – dd

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    1. Hi Diane
      Sounds like the ex daughter in law didn’t try to ingratiate herself.
      I understand about different pronunciations in different places, but one I can’t figure is some people in Oklahoma pronounce wash “warsh.” I do love the variances!
      Leila

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      1. she did not.

        One word that is giving me the twitches at the moment is ‘atop’ it’s everywhere and I simply find it irritating. ‘On top of’ is fine. I have long disliked ’emmanated’ and ‘panties’ makes me seeth. dd

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      2. Good call on atop. Also, I recall your mention of tautology. So many new writers say something is “terrible and horrible.”
        I figure no one should correct the respected, well loved father for inconsequential matters. She sounds like a bit of a nitpick

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  4. Where to start. First something about meanings. When I had only heard euthanasia, I thought it was a ten year old Japanese girl.
    As president of the society to preserve effect and affect, I would reserve impact for tennis ball hitting a wall, and erase impactful from the universe.
    As all should know Issue is something that comes in the mail, it isn’t a problem.
    Brands are for cereal and livestock.
    All of the misused and / or fake adverbs should require penance. Suposedly (someone supposes), hopefully (someone hopes), allegedly (someone was alleged by someone).
    I declare a moritorium on verbing nouns and nouning verbs. I will never be tasked, I have no asks, there will be no reveals.
    I’m old and I get to hate change.

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    1. Hi Doug
      I went to school with a kid who claimed his parents were Roman’s from Romania!
      Isn’t changing a noun to a verb called a gerund? If so is that ge-rund, gerr-und or Gerald Ford?
      Thank you for coming by. And I agree with your points, especially with people not understanding the difference between affect and effect.
      Leila

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  6. Another excellent Saturday post and a good video. I’d add “Hopefully” to the list of overloved words. I’ve a pronunciation pet-peeve: people who say im-port-ant instead of im-por-tant. I’m hearing TV reporters make this mispronunciation more and more. Don’t know why it bugs me, but it does.

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    1. Thank you David
      Yes it is concerning when so-called professionals say “offin” instead of often. I used to think that only smart people reported the news until I watched Wolf Blitzer do historically awful on Jeopardy (and what’s up with that o in jeopardy?)
      Leila

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  7. Hi Leila,

    Excellent as always!!

    If you pronounce aluminium the way that I have heard most Americans pronounce it, maybe it would be easier to go for the more guttural (There’s a good word!!) Scottish pronunciation – Al (As in Bundy – That character is a legend!!) You Min ee Um so:

    Al You Min Ee Umm.

    Two words I despise and avoid like the plague is a word beginning with ‘F’ that is Scottish slang for a vagina and a word beginning with ‘J’ that is Scottish slang for shite.

    You mentioned corporate words for the unloved – I would add a wee bit to that and state that any ‘Buzz words’ should be avoided but not banned. However those that use them should be put to death.

    There is only one truly wonderful word and that is ‘Crocodile’ (Do you know the reference? That beastie can be confused with a ‘Crocogator’ (Another reference for saddos like me!)

    I had forgotten about that Berlin song. It was great to hear it again. I have a sad relationship with ‘Take My Breath Away’ as that was the song that was playing when I got into the taxi to take me to Auchinleck on the day my granny died.

    I will admit to seeking out Kool And The Gang’s ‘Celebration when a few other folks have died!!!

    All the very best!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Hugh

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  8. Hi Hugh

    I love Kool and the Gang. Berlin had a good year or two in America then faded. But their two songs still hold strong. I know about phony “Crocodile tears.” Every word that tries to fill in for shit/shite is a miserable failure, except crap is okay because it could be said in front of Mom.

    I want to do a bit about words that still need inventing. Like one that effectively describes the look on a Dog’s face when the DYI project you have spent all day on has made you look even more incompetent than Homer Simpson. A gaze of affectionate pity that no word quite grasps.

    Thanks again! Looking forward to seeing that song list. I keep going back to the ones I whiffed on and the stalemate continues!

    Leila

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    1. Hi Marco
      Your word reminded of some guy who claimed he was in a band called “Johnny-fucker-faster”– which, I believe was the punchline to a school yard joke shared by twelve-year-old boys. This was circa 1979 at Peaches records in the U District. He was always there passing out flyers. Wish I had seen the band, but there were so many.
      Thank you for knocking the memory loose!
      Leila

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      1. Hi Leila,
        Jeez… Peaches in the U. That’s about the time I was hanging out watching shows at the Rainbow. And 1979… that would have been right. I had just arrived in Seattle. I’m pretty sure we crossed paths somewhere in the bad old days. Had to have happened.
        M

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    1. Thank you Geraint

      Ha! Years ago, in the 80’s, I used segue in a story. I spelled it like the scooter that hadn’t been invented yet. Still, it was my first published story after countless failures.

      Thank you for stopping by!
      Leila

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  11. Thanks Leila: great song and video (both new to me). I’m also in your debt for ‘Knothead’, which I shall use in future at every opportunity.

    re overused words: I wish to nominate the clumsy and completely redundant ‘with’, as in ‘consult with’, ‘meet with’, etc. It’s used to puzzle me, but now it’s starting to irritate me.

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  12. This post really speaks to me Leila. I was also painfully shy as a child, and didn’t really come out of it until adulthood. I left school at 16 having put zero effort into my school leaving exams, and went into an apprenticeship as a painter and decorator. It wasn’t until I reached around 25, and then by chance (that’s another story) I found myself reading books and it changed my life (also another story). The thing with this was that I read many words without knowing how to pronounce them and even to this day I’ve found myself mispronouncing words (‘omnipotent’ and ‘nomenclature’ being recent examples) where I’ve felt embarrassed at my incorrect spoken utterance. And, even though I’ve been teaching English as a living for 27 years now, I still suffer a sense of imposter syndrome on occasion when I see a word and don’t know how to say the bloody thing!

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    1. Hi Paul

      Only legit people suffer from impostor syndrome, so I consider that a good thing–arrogant people never feel that way. And I think it is wonderful that you went from shy student to teacher!

      Yes, shyness gets in the way of things and takes years of effort to overcome. I think in all of us who “were” that way as kids still are, but we have simply found a way around it.

      Thank you!

      Leila

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