Week 495 has crept up, PUNCHED us in the gut and is now LORDING it’s AUTHORITY on us!
What that means, I haven’t a clue – I just went for something a wee bit dramatic…Okay, maybe ‘pish’ is the word that I should’ve used! I reckon Vincent Price could have done that line justice though!
Anyhoo…
I read a couple of jokes this week that I enjoyed for very different reasons. They were both from one of my main sources of material and that is Tam Cowan’s column in The Daily Record. (I always give him a nod though – No need to steal!!)
The first one stated that you could save yourself money for a coffin by simply ordering a pen from Amazon and then using the box to bury your granny / ?? (Or insert appropriate dead relative. If it is your granny, then we have a happy coincidence…Well maybe not…But if you didn’t like her…Then all’s good!)
The next one is a bit sick but rather multi-levelled. In fact it made me think on the line – What do you call a horse with it’s cunt on its back? – Part of the hunt.
The line actually went – My friend is a hunt saboteur, he goes out the night before and shoots the foxes. Now that may seem sick but I think a bullet is a better alternative. However, I would rather he shot the huntsmen. (And women – They can be over-privileged and sadistic bastards too!)
I enjoy dark humour, although, to be honest, any wee beasties suffering doesn’t do anything for me. A wee tip guys, any animal cruelty stories is weel up against it! None of us appreciate them. I’m even still traumatised by the brilliant but heartbreaking story that the legend Mr Tom Sheehan sent us about ‘Titanic’ the horse!
…I’m filling up, so Ah am!!
But anything to do with humans is fair game. Writingly, (There you go Daisy!) kill and slaughter those bastards at will!!
I’ve made this point a few times, humour depends on who finds it funny. And the simple thing is, laughing at something dark isn’t the sick part, having these situations actually there is the sickest thing of all.
I don’t know why but I’ve been pondering a few questions this week.
1. Do fish get cramp after they eat? And if they do, how would we know?
2. Are the needles for lethal injections sterilised and if so, why?
3. Would it be hypothetical to ask hypothetically what would we learn if there were no hypothetical scenarios?
As you probably have realised, I have too much time on my hands!! It takes me around an hour to walk to my work so instead of crying or wanting to kill people; I try and keep my mind active by thinking on shite like those questions!
Actually, I’ve just thought of another question that I’d like to ask all our international friends. (That includes you Diane! England is International to us!! HAH! Not because we believe it to be exotic, it’s just that we don’t accept the UK!!!! (Don’t get angry – I Do love York, Bridlington (Hope it’s still the same!) and The Lake District!)
In Scotland we have two sayings for the food notions you get when you are ‘Eight Haufs In’, (That is – Half steamin’ – Which is, slightly drunk but not that drunk that you want a Curry, Chinese, Pot Noodle or a Kebab) you get ‘The Drunken Hunger’ or ‘The Munchies’ (To be fair, The Munchies is more about the ‘Drugged’ hunger but it can still apply.)
My ‘Drunken Hunger’ is appeased by toast with cheese and jam (It has to be red or coloured…Not apricot!! And a cream apple turnover if I can get one…With a packet of ‘Walker’s Marmite Crisps, a Starbar which used to be a Nunch and the Ninth Hauf!!!!) So what I’m asking is – Do you have a term for the food (I had to be specific here!!!) cravings that you have when you are just this side of pished????? I will use any I learn of the next time I’m Eight Haufs In!!! So in a few minutes time!
Okay onto this week’s stories!
We had three new folks, who we wish all the best, a third timer and a superb writer with his thirty first story for us.
As always our initial comments follow.
The beginning of the week began on Monday. No change there then!
We welcome Daniel Shiffman to the site with his first story for us, ‘One Hundred Percent Sure’.
‘Sliding in the mother’s death and including his doubt about raising the child mixed really well with the tale.’
‘Excellent writing.’
‘The message is superbly subtle.’
On Tuesday we had the brilliance of Harrison Kim. This wonderful writer has graced our site for thirty one brilliant times! ‘What I Will Not Become’ was no exception!!
‘I loved the tone.’
‘The descriptions are excellent. I swear I could smell that cigarette!’
‘The actions remind me of those I had witnessed at that age.’
Our next new writer was Lesley Warren. We hope all our newbies have fun on the site and continue to send us their work.
‘Workshop’ was next up.
‘Very peculiar! So all good!!’
‘Quirky and weird but all in a good way!’
‘Enthralling and when I think about it, it made me think!!’
And time for another new writer. On Thursday we welcomed Leland Neville with his offering of ‘Time Capsule.’
‘This is weirdness that I can follow.’
‘I’m happy that it doesn’t explain itself – That takes confidence!’
‘It will be interesting to see the readers reactions.’
The week ended with Otto Alexander who graced the site for a third time with, ‘Guitar Lessons.’
‘A less skilled hand would have made a total mess of this.’
‘Super read, this one!’
‘There is all the regret, fear and heartache that we have when we have a family and do things that later we wish we hadn’t.’
That’s us all done and dusted.
Just the usual reminders, keep those comments coming. It has been brilliant lately! And if someone has taken the time to comment, it only takes a few seconds to type in the word, ‘Thanks.’
Check out our Sunday features and if you want to get involved please send us what you have!
Just to finish I’d like to share a piece of wisdom or practicality or fact!
After a gentleman urinates, there is an insistence on him to wash his hands. I wonder if it would be more appropriate for him to wash his dick as we all know where our hands have been!!
I’ve been sitting on this song for a while. I do find cover versions interesting – They are very, very seldom as good as the original but sometimes something makes you listen. I adore Marvin Gaye and no-one can touch him. (Handsome big bastard as well!! – I’m comfortable with my appreciation of a fine figure of a man! His father was a cunt.) But I heard this and even though I should hate it, it’s interesting, different and quite infectious.
Oh the video is a bit bonkers – Fuck knows why David Soul is there. (Hutch was a cracking character but his portrayal of Ben Mears in Kings ‘Salem’s Lot’ was superb!!! He was in a film with James Mason – How cool is that???)
…I give you ‘The Slits’!
Image: packet of Marmite crisps from Google images.
literally stories 
Hugh
I favor the salt group when two sheets in. And it is the only time I want nachos with serious intent. Also sardines on crackers (which I like all the time) is another fine fill. As are Cheetos. Funyuns even bagged pork rinds.
I cannot remember jokes, except for very short ones such as “I told him I’m game, so he shot me.”
Salem’s Lot is the best TV version of King. Lots of good ones, Storm of the Century–and the Stand was interesting. Tim Curry vs John boy Walton made It–but I wasn’t interested in the Tommy knockers and a few of the others. Fine post and I will break in my new ear buds with the song.
Leila
P.S.–Daisy thankingly thanks you for the mentionally mention
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In the land FCs nothing is real. Keep on mocking in the freak world. I’ve broken up with Mr. King since he has not appreciated my parodies thereof.
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Hi Leila,
Thanks as always.
Jokes I only remember when I think on them…Or probably don’t think on them, they just come to me hopefully in the context of what I’m talking about.
Gwen has always stated that I have a sweet tooth but I have both. Lemon, lime, dry wine, stout (Passion fruit and raspberries are ruined by too much sugar) and natural yogurt are amongst my favourites.
I agree that Salem’s Lot is one of the best and eeriest TV adaptations. I wasn’t so keen on the remake with, I think, it was Rob Lowe??
Cheers my lovely friend.
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Funilly funny – I’d never be cross with anything you say, Hugh – I know you mean it all in the best possible way!! We have a thing that we do when we’ve been out past dinner time, or to a thing, or if we have just had one of those days, and it’s whisky and cheese on toast. Something about traditions like that is that even though normally you’d gerrooo nothing else will do on those occassions. David Soul was one of my crushes when I was misspending my youth. Actually that made me think. When you misspend it in, what you later realise, was a pretty feeble attempt is it still misspending or more frittering or cut pricing. I cut priced my youth! That sounds a bit like me.
Ha – thanks for this – dd
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Hi Diane,
Cheese on toast and whisky, well that is just fine and dandy.
My Uncle Frankie had a resemblance to David Soul when he was younger…Well when both of them were younger.
Misspending your youth is all about growing and learning. The best adults needed this time in their lives!
Thanks as always…Have a Talisker, cheese on toast is always optional!!
Hugh
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Dear Hugh,
Since I consumed my share of the world’s alcohol by the time I was 38, 19 years ago, I now substitute with Leary biscuits (known as marijuana edibles these days) on a near-daily basis. It’s a great replacer drug for those who can’t or don’t drink any more for whatever reason, and the hangovers don’t even exist as compared to the booze. And as you noted, it definitely causes hunger pangs at times, or more likely just enhances the taste of all foods. (American sativa brands cause energy and uplift, not drowsiness and munchies. Weed is legal now in the majority of US states, as it should be, including in my home state of Illinois. Another great thing around here (the Chicago region) is that almost no one appreciates the humor of Donald Trump, no matter your race or creed.)
Lately I enjoy to sate my hunger with huge pieces of toasted sourdough bread dripping with massive amounts of honey and peanut butter, all washed down with huge glasses of milk (lactose-free) and more tea or coffee, plus maybe a banana on the side. Or two.
I was raised in Detroit as a youngster, so the sounds of Marvin Gaye, The Prince of Motown, were in my ears at a very young age (he was all over the radio). His father was a strange piece of work, but was also goaded into shooting his offspring by Marvin himself: the death was essentially a suicide (that’s how I interpret the biographies). Marvin was a tender soul, so talented that this world overwhelmed him, as it does eventually or soon with many artists and/or artistic folks.
I adored the song by The Slits and now wish to check out more of their work. I loved the cross-cultural exchange, the energy, the percussion, and especially the vocals. Wild, dramatic, on target, a bit eerie, and full of passion. Bold. Not tame, lame and over-produced. Worth listening to many times. Thanks for sharing! Also adore your dark humor; and how you stick up for animals. Deeply appreciated. Every single one of them has their own kind of soul. (As William Blake pointed out, we’re still living in the garden of Eden, if only we knew how to recognize it and stop burning it down.)
Sincerely,
Dale
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Hi Dale,
The sandwich sounds divine. I’d probably slice the banana up, put it on the sandwich and add a wee sprinkling of black pepper.
I need to listen to more Marvin Gaye, I’ve not done that for a while. I enjoyed his collaborations with Tammy Tarrel (Sp??) I think Abraham, Martin And John is one of the best examples of a very simple song executed brilliantly.
Thanks as always my fine friend – Much appreciated.
Hugh
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Entertaining post and good round-up of stories. I wonder if Leila’s punk band did a similar cover of Grapevine? My go-to when I have the munchies lately is salt and pepper cashews. I think Vincent Price could do Justice to any line.
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Hi Dave,
Weirdly nuts is something I got into when I was older. I still don’t like Walnuts but all others I enjoy. My old Papa showed me how to open a Hazel Nut with a pen-knife. I needed to thank him for all the times I stabbed the palm of my hand!!
And you are quite correct about Mr Price – He even made a Michael Jackson song interesting!!
Hope all is well with you my fine friend.
Hugh
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Marvin Gaye Inner City Blues, Grapevine, Got To Give It Up. Odd couple – when I want to get into a groove, two odd ball companions:
Long version of “Got To Give It Up” by late Marvin
“Wreck Of The Edmund Fitzgerald” by late Gordo
Old man got his dancing strokes yesterday to cover/tribute bands “Heart Of Glass” (Blondie) and “Jukebox Heroes” (Foreigner)
Playing Make Me Want To Holler now.
Hugh’s stories reminded me “Two countries divided by a common language”.
We’ll meet again, don’t know where or when.
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Hi Doug,
Thanks as always for your comments, they always interest and make me smile!
I worked in a Nursing Home for the longest seven months of my life!! There was a fellow who really shouldn’t have been there and he was very capable. But when there were concerts on and anyone sung, ‘We’ll Meet Again’, the poor soul was in pieces. I’ve never seen anyone sob that way and it broke my heart. The thing was, even though he knew this would be played, he came in every-time to hear it.
Hope all is well with you and yours my fine friend.
Hugh
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Hugh –
Vera Lynn? lived to 104. That song (“We’ll Meet Again”) was a big part of “Dr. Strangelove”. I think she did “Bluebirds Over The White Cliffs Of Dover”. Later learned the birds were planes attacking Germany in WWII. Please correct everything I have wrong here. All of this happened on your side of the pond.
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Great post, Hugh. But what happened to Vincent Price’s ‘Theatre of Blood’ (one of my favourite comic films)? Maybe there’s a Part 2 next Sunday?
For boozy munchies, it HAS to be cheese for me: on toast with Worcester sauce, or in a sandwich with onion, or in a toastie with onion, or on several oatcakes (but not just any oatcakes – there’s lots of awful cardboard ones around).
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Hi Mick,
You can’t go wrong with a bit of cheese!!!
I just wish I could eat the blue stuff but apart from Blue Brie, I can’t manage it. Yoan dusty bits just repel me…I’ll keep trying, one of these years my taste may change.
‘Theatre Of Blood’ was so OTT it was criminal but it really did work and I fall back and watch it regularly. (Also ‘Young Frankenstein’ which is my all-time favourite spoof.)
Thanks so much for your time – It’s always a pleasure.
Hugh
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Hugh, I congratulate you on a funny and interesting essay. It wasn’t perfect – one “fuck” and no less than two “cunts” blighted its effect, even if one of the referenceswas was to a horse.
I’ve picked at you for this before and figured that, after I’d had my say, I should just leave it alone and simply ignore your profanity-laced work. But, it wasn’t bad this time, though it had it’s (dark) moments.
As I’ve said in the past, profanity is perfectly appropriate when used as part of dialogue of a particularly stupid or ignorant character; not, however, in the context of an essay.
I feel its use reflects writer ignorance (including of the English language), laziness (try clicking on Thesaurus) and lack of imagination.
When you pen an essay, you’re trying to explain, expand on or persuade; after reading your work today, I know you are better than that.
I don’t mind “fuck” so much, but “cunt,” whether you realize it or not, is sexist and worse, misogynistic. Imagine: calling Marvin Gaye’s murderous father a “cunt,” or a woman’s genitalia. What does that say about your opinion of women?
I note that in the work of yours that I’ve read, you eschew the words “nigger,” “spook,” “jigaboo” and other pejoratives for Black folks. You’ve explained your reliance on “fuck” and “cunt” as being part of the heritage of your characters. You won’t tell me that the words I just listed are not likewise part of that vocabulary, will you? I won’t believe it.
I don’t use these words and for the same reason I don’t use “cunt” and, like I said in response to one of Leila’s comments earlier in the week, I likewise don’t use PWT: because it is insensitive, pejorative and uncalled for.
Do you not use “nigger” because you and the Small Press are sensitive to race issues, but not to misogyny? It appears to be fashionable to insult women, their sexuality and their bodies without recrimination.
I could easily have avoided what amounts to a confrontation with LS, but If I won’t speak out, then who will? To just let an affront slide is to diminish the good work that’s published on the site — and there are tremendous stories published on LS — and to give a pass to what can only grow more pervasive in the absence of rebuke. I could avoid a confrontation, but I’m too old and near death than I won’t buy peace with cowardice.
I know nothing about you, Hugh: I haven’t a clue what makes you tick. But, more than that, I don’t understand what motivates your co-editors’ silence. It’s worth observing that being female doesn’t mean you can’t display misogynistic behavior. I’m making no accusations. Only you all know the truth. Go ahead and remove this from the site, like you did the time before….
bill tope
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Hi Bill,
Thanks for the congratulations – That means as much to me as the rest of your opinions.
You probably should just ignore my profane laced-work as it will only change if the context makes it change.
You are correct Bill, you know nothing about me as your miss-guided perceptions clearly prove. Be very careful when you bandy around certain accusations, they will make others perceive ideas about you that may be true and I’m sure you wouldn’t want that.
You should point that ‘understanding’ you have towards others to yourself. Hopefully you will treat yourself with the same arrogance and ignorance that you do to others.
‘Profanity is perfectly appropriate when used as part of a dialogue of a particularly stupid or ignorant character’
Your quote is insulting beyond comprehension. Does this mean that any writer who has a character that swears is always writing about a particularly stupid or ignorant character??
That is a generalisation that you should be ashamed of – And that needs to be seen in print!!!!
One last thing – If you are going to attack me, that is fine and actually quite laughable. But don’t mention my fellow editors. They have talent, insight, tolerance, intelligence and an understanding on a complete human level that you severely lack.
Hugh
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Hi Hugh – thank you. I think we should clarify that the comment that we decided not to print was in fact a vicious attack on a work by one of our contributing authors and not yet another comment about your colourful vocabulary (our option to do this to protect writers is covered in the submission guidelines) . I believe that an essay, such as yourself and Leila spend time writing every week of the year is more meaningful, more fun, and more honest if it has woven into it the character of the writer. I think it would be good if some readers were to look up Mr Stephen Fry’s essays on swearing whereby he demonstrates that not only is it very beneficial to the human psyche but also a demonstration of intelligence.
Quote by Stephen Fry: “The sort of twee person who thinks …
Goodreads
https://www.goodreads.com › quotes › 715054-the-sort…
The sort of twee person who thinks swearing is in any way a sign of a lack of education or a lack of verbal interest is just a fucking lunatic. Stephen Fry.
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Hi Diane,
A huge thanks for the support!!!
And the quote from the intelligent, articulate, educated, hysterical and brilliant Mr Stephen Fry bombs out those of stupidity and narrow minds!!!
Hugh
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Great post and great week of stories. Also, can’t believe my hometown, Bridlington, got a mention! I’m actually heading there tomorrow for a couple of days (and was there a few weeks back) and can confirm it hasn’t changed!
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Dear Hugh,
I write in support of you because I know you were unfairly criticized. First, I totally, completely, and fully understand WHY you do NOT use the N-word, and do use the other words. I noticed that the comment/opinion piece which criticized you employed the N-word not once, but more than once. Since one can just say “the N-word” instead, there’s no good reason to use this word, not even in quotation marks, and especially not more than once. Where I come from, white folks of sympathy and understanding (white folks who like black folks) NEVER use this word, in speech or in writing: not even in quotation marks. Using this word in fiction is another matter. But even there it’s HIGHLY questionable, as it usually gets used from behind a very, very thin veil which exposes the writer’s real, and underlying, racism. I do not believe the word should be taken out of books like “Huckleberry Finn,” but I follow the youth of today, even the right-wing youth of today, in believing that this word is not acceptable. Almost all the young folks of today laugh bitterly at the old folks of today who still employ this term, even in quotation marks. The history is too long, too deep, too oppressive, and too brutal, and the youth have had enough of it. I would be offended, and turned off, if you used the N-word in your essays (unless you said “N-word” instead). But you never do. Thank you!!!
More to come. I want to try and explain why I feel like you are using the other words in satirical form and why I feel this is “okay,” whereas using the N-word would not be.
Dale
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Dear Hugh,
First, I want to state that ALL geniuses and brilliant folks have utterly colorful vocabularies which they employ in their everyday lives on a regular basis. This has been proved over and over again, by studies in sociology, psychology and linguistics, etc. The colorful vocabularies of brilliant folks always extend to every word, and every kind of word, in the language, because these words exist, and because smart people know the world.
Mark Twain and Albert Einstein were both known to continuously swear like drunken sailors, even when sober, in their private lives, as two examples. “Checking” one’s language, or code-switching, or trying to not use certain words around certain people so as not to offend, is another matter. But knowing the words and using them sometimes, is scientifically proven to be a sign of intelligence. Intelligent people and people brilliant with language can’t even help it. The words exist, and they know about them because they do exist. Humor and irony also come into play here (these are two more qualities of highly intelligent people, along with a wide, comprehensive, and varied vocabulary, including all kinds of words and all levels of words: not so of every member of the population).
I believe your use of the “f” word and the “c” word in your essays is satirical, Rabelaisian, and, while not for “everyone” surely, meant to be used as humorous. One of these words is mostly a verb, one is basically a noun. Unlike the N-word word, both of these words on some level apply to every single human on the planet. We all do the first thing, at least a few times in life, and if not, then our parents did. And we all come out of the second word I mentioned, and this one has zero, and absolutely ZERO, exceptions. This is one, very strong, reason, why these terms might be used satirically by an intelligent person like yourself, whereas the complete form of the “N-word” absolutely would NOT be.
The use of these terms may be meant to provoke, a little bit. But provocative writing can also be brilliant writing, and most (if not all) brilliant writing is provocative on some level. Genius and high intelligence always get misunderstood and mocked by some, or the majority, of folks. None of this is simple, but all of it is true.
All of the sudden out of the blue, Kamala Harris has proven herself to be a political, and democratic (not authoritarian), genius. When asked what her favorite swearword is, she said, “It starts with M and ends with A.” (And has four syllables.) Thereby admitting to a crowd that she uses the word regularly in private. And she has a great laugh.
Sincerely,
Dale
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Dear Hugh,
The way that you have supported, encouraged, understood, promoted, and cheered on the writing of female/women writers for ten years is all over the site. No low-down misogynist would have this kind of enthusiasm or understanding for the work of female/women writers. It’s not fair to criticize you for using two specific words in a satirical fashion, while totally leaving out the fact that you understand and promote, and cheer on, the work of brilliant women writers all the time, and have done so for years. As a father of twin 17-year-old daughters, both of whom are also writers (and who also have colorful vocabularies), I for one applaud you endlessly for your great spirit on this.
Taking pot-shots at you for your satirical language is okay on one level, maybe, as long as the whole truth is also acknowledged. James Joyce, Henry Miller, William Burroughs, Charles Bukowski, Mark Twain, were all great humanists who were also attacked for their realistic, freeing use of the English language (even if not pleasant at times), including attacked by forces like the U.S. government in the case of the first four writers. (Twain was attacked by the Boston library association among others, who he thanked for making his work far more popular by attacking it.)
Virginia Woolf, great essayist as well as fiction writer, said that only special men can make the leap in truly applauding, and understanding, or trying to understand, the work of female writers. I feel like I know this about you, because it’s all over the site. You are humble, and yet your ability to spot great writing is amazing, and then you say it too, without reservation, and in many ways. Very, very unusual, in a good way. I’ve read a million magazines and a million books over 57 years of obsessive, solitary reading. THANKS for all your efforts. You deserve it.
Sincerely,
Dale
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Hi Dale,
Thanks so much for your support and kind comments! Your grasp of this and me to an extent is humbling and very much appreciated. For someone to understand a person through their witterings and stories says more about the intelligence and perception of that person than that that did criticise.
I’m so glad that you picked up on the misogynistic comment and reasoned and understood that this was totally wrong and actually a very stupid comment.
I’ve been accused of many a thing during my time on this planet, but that is one thing that no-one has ever thought of me. So a comment from a stupid individual with a narrow-mind simply proves that they are exactly that.
Regarding the ‘N’ word – You are right, I will never use this. (Not sure if this is correct, but I read somewhere that this was the name of the bolt that held shackles in place???) I am a Scotsman, and I’m in no way saying that racism doesn’t exist but there are very few folks, if any that I have heard using this word. We have more a problem with Sectarianism (I stay in the West Coast which is just as bad as Glasgow) So if we did have a person from another country, we (Well they – I don’t give a fuck!) would be more interested in whether they were Catholic or Protestant than their specific look!!
I have told this individual that I simply write as I see, hear and speak and they can’t get that fact through their head and continually criticise.
I’ve actually been very restrained as this medium pisses me off a wee bit, there are too many mouths who type when they wouldn’t dare say if they were confronted face to face.
Thanks again my fine friend – I can’t tell you how much your support means to me!!!!!
Hugh
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Dear Hugh (and Dale) –
I wasn’t going to write again and simply let what I wrote a couple of days ago speak for me. I said all I wanted to. But, Dale brought to the surface an issue which I think should be addressed: the so-called “N-word.” Dale made much of its use and tried to transform me into a racist of some sort. Dale, I’m not a shrink, but I have a degree in Psych and so I’m familiar with the concept of projection. I thought yours was a weak, rather desperate effort. Better luck next time.
But to return to the issue, I believe that cloaking any objectionable word in a thin veil of code is childish and disingenuous. Everyone knows what “N-word” denotes and by disallowing its use, we only give it greater gravity, more importance, greater leverage to its use as a tool of repression.
When I write “N-word” what do you think? You think “nigger.” There is no way around it. You can’t cloak your own thoughts. By not saying the wretched word, you are according respect to the Black race, in acknowledgment of the tragic history of chattel slavery and all it entailed. But, you can not erase the history by not mentioning the word. That is what the Florida state board of education is trying to do by eliminating Black history in its schools. As Neil Young said, “Everyone knows this is nowhere.”
Modern musicians use “nigger” or “niggah” with wild abandon. And they use it with impunity. Does this mean that only Black millionaire artists should be “allowed” to say it? What about the millions of non-Blacks, who likewise had no hand in the tragedy of slavery. Should this become the Voldemort of the English language, the word which must never be mentioned?
I was amused to learn from one of Dale’s many comments, that there exists “scientific” evidence that the profane and the intelligent are one in the same. Dale stretched credulity to attach credibility to a number of such statements, including the admission that his 17-year-old daughters are wonderfully “colorful” in their language as well. Perhaps a door to a career in the diplomatic service will open up to them.
And I have to disagree with you again, Hugh: any character who says “cunt” is stupid and/or ignorant. There is a lot of societal pressure to consign “nigger” to the dustbin of history and that is good. However, again, thinly-veiled cloaking does nothing to remedy the problem of discrimination or the historical tragedy of slavery.
Your suggestion that I simply “ignore” your “profanity laced work” will not fly. Although I am a newcomer to LS. I am invested in it in that I enjoy the site and the wonderful authors. I have noted that, unlike similar sites, nothing pejorative is ever said — up until this moment, by me and then at me, for disagreeing with you. You and Dale, to use a mixed metaphor, saw my comment as a shot across your bow and so you circled your wagons.
It was informative of you to tell me that I am, by turn, arrogant, ignorant and stupid. I challenged your use of two words; I never challenged your intellect or your morality or your character. I didn’t say you were a misogynist; I said the words you used were sexist and misogynistic, and would you please stop.
I have it on good authority from an editor whom I like and respect, that you are a stand up fellow and I’ve no reason to dispute this. Leila speaks very highly of you, as does everyone who writes comments on your site. You apparently have a lot of friends. And that is important; I hold all my own close friends dear — both of them. I will say, however, that you are rather thin-skinned and harbor a grudge.
Guys, I don’t want to war with anyone. I want to enjoy the LS site without the unprovoked expressions of hatred of women. Is that too much to ask? BTW, I think it is wonderful that we can have a spirited dialogue on important issues, at LS. It is a great site!
bill
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Dear Bill,
I wonder if you would ever actually travel to Chicago and use the N-word in person in front of black folks, to their faces. Most would just shake their heads and turn away sadly. But from many you might get a different reaction. I live in a black neighborhood, and I have black friends, most from the lower orders of the socio-economic spectrum. The fact that many black folks use the word themselves doesn’t mean it’s appropriate for white folks to use it. (I hear the word used in my neighborhood all the time, always by black folks, but it’s different than white folks using it.) As far as millionaire white artists using it, many, such as Taylor Swift and Eminem, the two biggest millionaires (and Taylor is now a billionaire), have sworn that they will never use the word, on their albums or in person. It’s a form of self-censorship that can be seen as a radical act from imperfect white folks of good intention. If you wouldn’t use it in person to someone’s face, maybe you shouldn’t use it so freely in nonfiction writing. I also wonder how you would respond to a black person calling YOU the N-word (this has happened to me many, many times, in various contexts, most friendly, some not).
Also, I wonder if you’ve ever explored the work of James Joyce, especially his two long novels, ULYSSES and FINNEGANS WAKE. Joyce is universally considered to be the greatest writer in the English language since Shakespeare. And in some ways, he’s BETTER than Shakespeare. Joyce employs all the words that seem to offend you so much, and then some. And we know for a fact from biographical data that Joyce swore frequently and joyfully (as did his wife and children), and he used these words in his private life, ALL THE TIME, including the “c” word. And if the word offends you so much, I don’t understand why you keep spelling it out in your own writings.
I wonder why you don’t applaud Hugh more for all his valiant efforts to support and disseminate good writing, instead of nitpicking at these other details all the time. I agree with Hugh: if it offends you so greatly, you should just avoid it, instead of feeling you have to be the Don Quixote of expunging the “c” word from the written world.
I understand that I’m contradicting myself by arguing for the censorship of one, single word, while also advocating for the very free use of every single other word on the planet. But as Walt Whitman said, if I contradict myself, very well then, I contradict myself: I am large; I contain multitudes.
I appreciate your willingness to engage in a debate about language, and I understand that you are a person of good intention. But the way you are expressing your opinions lacks politeness, and sounds too pompous, judgmental, and falsely high-minded. It makes it seem like you lack good manners. You should praise before you condemn. God bless you. And as a Christian who never goes to church, I do not mean that ironically in any way.
Sincerely,
Dale
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