Here we are at Saturdays Posting number 483!
Something has came up this week that we want to share.
Before I start explaining, I must say that none of our writers have done anything wrong. We are in no way criticising.
Let me explain.
It has come to our attention that there are firm(s) out there who are offering ‘Reading Services’ and suchlike. They offer for them to find sites like us. Within these services there is a ‘Journal Charge.’
We think that this could be taken that our site is charging for submission.
We hope that all reading this know that we do not charge any of our writers anything.
If the writer knows what they are paying for and, more importantly, who they are paying, we are fine with that. But we just thought we wanted to state loud and clear– LITERARY STORIES IS A FREE SERVICE. WE HAVE NO AFFILIATIONS WITH ANY THIRD PARTY– NO-ONE SHOULD EVER THINK OTHERWISE!!
I know that the chances of any new writer reading this is next to non-existent…It’s hard enough to get folks to read the guidelines!! So what we would ask all of you who take any part on the site, please spread the word that if they or anyone they know wants to submit to us, to do it directly.
That way, there is no charge!!
It’s very simple and if anyone struggles with the process, we will do our best to help.
Onto this week’s posting, which has been inspired by last week’s posting and Leila’s list of slang terms.
I realised there is one phrase we use that could get us into a whole lot of trouble.
Now for the sensitives, I should write a trigger warning here but won’t.
All I will say is before anyone judges me, read more than the first phrase!!
‘The black bastard!’
This is nothing racist. It’s quite simply that us Scots frequently use the word ‘Black’ as dirty.
And fuck off – We don’t ever associate one for the other!!!!!!!!!
In Scotland, for most of the population, when we say, ‘The Black Bastard’ we are more than likely commenting on a woman’s laundry prowess. (And fuck off again, I’m not being stereotypical sexist.)
So let’s put these phrases and situations together:
‘Did ye see the mingin washin’ she hung oot?’
‘Aye, she’s a black bastard.’
‘Whit’s that smell?’
‘That’ll be me, I didnae get a chance to shower this morning.’
‘Ye black bastard!’
‘Did you use ma spoon?’
‘Aye.’
‘Ye black bastard.’
What I find interesting about this is we can still have folks saying that we are using it in a racist context but nothing is farther from the truth. We only use that as the strongest colour (tone) that we have.
It may come one day that this phrase will be banned and I wonder what the alternatives would be?
Half of Glasgow would use, blue or orange the other half green. I myself would choose puce or mustard as I find them horrible colours.
…And that’s the point – They are fucking colours – Not people!!!!!!!!!!!!
*Talking about not being people – I see wee richie rich the richest pm in the universe has called an election. Great – One bunch of privileged wankers replacing another.
It would never surprise me if the next lot made just as much of an arse of the country as the last lot did, but you would hope that would be nigh on impossible!
There was one headline that did make me chuckle. It read ‘Gone in the fourth of July!’
I’ll be voting my usual since I turned age to vote – None of the above. (Anyone know the film reference?) And that means being where I will be and not sullying myself by going near any polling station.
I had an argument in the pub once when a guy I have a pint with stated that I was the worst for not voting.
I asked him this, ‘If you go into a restaurant and there was nothing on the menu that you could suffer, would you order something anyway?’
I never got an answer as the barman told us to ‘Shut the fuck up about politics!!!’
Okay onto this week’s stories.
We had four new folks who we warmly welcome and one returner.
As always our initial comments follow.
First up was our first new writer, Bett Butler with Monday’s offering, ‘1964’
‘Great feel for the time.’
‘The story is subtle but not the situation.’
‘Wonderful pace.’
On Tuesday we had Simon Nadel with his second story which was called, ‘Your Grief Doesn’t Interest Me.’
‘Bleak and unfortunately unrealistic.’
‘This addresses loneliness and depression very well.’
‘So well done that you don’t want to like it!!’
Simon Berry was our next new writer with, ‘Signing Off In Style.’
‘The term, ‘Creative Suicide Note’ grabbed my interest.’
‘A rather unique idea.’
‘The characters are so vivid!’
On Thursday we next had, Anna Sahli with ‘Christmas Spirits’
‘I found this to be terribly sad.’
‘Very well observed.’
‘When I think on it, it’s actually very moving.’
And we finished off with Dana Rollins and ‘Pink Tongue Flailing’
‘Excellent writing.’
‘Very readable.’
‘In a way, the ending is uplifting.’
That’s us for another week.
Just the usual segment here!
Please, please comment.
And if your pals have commented on your story, ask them to have a look at others, even if it is only the three ‘Related’ stories which can be found under the authors name at the end of the story and below the ‘share this’ icons. I always find the links to each other very interesting. Who knows, they may realise what a gold mine of stories we have!
Also, any comment is worth a ‘Thanks!’ – Remember your manners! (If that sounds condescending, it should if you have to be reminded!!!!)
And have a look at the other features that we run of a Sunday. It’s an easy way to be published which is always good for your Writing CV!
Two wee quick one liners before I finish.
First question, on first meeting a person how do you know that they are a vegan?
– They’ll tell you.
And why is it when we drop something on the floor, we tell it to ‘fuck’ off before we pick it up?? (Courtesy of Mr Tam Cowan – Saturday’s ‘Daily Record’…In the words of the legend that is Billy Connolly – ‘You don’t need to steal, give credit and if the line is funny, it’s you who still gets the laugh!)
And for some music, I give you one of only two Kylie Minogue songs that I like. This is one and if you want to hear the other, seek out her duet with Jack Savareti.
* Was that link smooth or what??
Aye, more likely to be a ‘what’!!
Image: Vote Here sign wired to a fence from Pixabay.com
literally stories 
Hello Hugh
Great stuff!
Bartenders tend to cut off people who discuss politics and religion before anyone else. Can hardly blame them.
George Carlin was against voting. Someone told him that he couldn’t complain, that old cliche. He said that he sure could because the result was bullshit he did not endorse!
I finally gave up and promised to never again vote for anyone whose “platform” is mainly slamming the other side. I hate both sides. I fill out ballots mainly for initiatives. But where there are candidates who violate my terms, I cast a write in vote for “Keyser Sosa.”
I reiterate my stance on paying to submit. Never do it. Just don’t encourage them. There are college publications that actually need the three bucks or so, but I know no other exceptions.
Always liked Kylie, who tends to put at least five years between hits.
Leila
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Hi Leila,
What I hate more than most when it comes to an election is that the politician fuckers are breathing!
Also I despise, ‘The party line’ – That fucking phrase / point that they will all get in no matter what they are asked. Those tory fuckwits keep thrashing out that ‘Economically, we’ve turned a corner and labour has no focus’ or some shit like that.
Labour just list the fuck-ups.
Me, I’d only ever vote for the re-incarnation of Guy Fawkes. I think he was a Scottish people hater but what the hell, he had some good ideas!!
Thanks as always.
Hugh
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em. Great Post. Politicians pooooof not a pinch of salt to choose between any of ’em. Don’t pay for publishing. Editing is different of course.
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Hi Diane,
You are quite correct. I think it’s hysterical when you hear some wee voter stating, ‘That MP is a man of the people. He understands and knows what matters to us.’
I don’t know who the bigger bell-end is, the politician or the voter!!
Thanks as always!
Hugh
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I’m for none of the above in the USA. It’s the sociopath vs the warmonger and they are bold old male palefaces. At least one of them is now a felon, but expect the legal battles will go on long after I’m dead. Science has given us artificial intelligence, politics has given us artificial ignorance.
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Hi Doug,
I do think it’s a bit insulting when folks of a different country pass comment on other countries politicians. They have enough shit to put up with their own. If we are talking about the Western World, let each country sort out or should I say, create, their own mess by voting for whatever fuck-wit they think will make a difference. If they want to be disillusioned, that’s their choice!!
Many thanks!!
Hope all is well with you my fine friend.
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Good post. Don’t know why anyone would pay for that service when there are sites like Duotrope. I vote, often while holding my nose. Apropos to nothing, the cicada invasion predicted for our area wasn’t an exaggeration. LOUD
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Hi Dave,
The one thing I find interesting (Maybe it’s only here) is the secrecy that some people insist on when they vote. But to be fair, that used to be a class thing, the working class (HAH!! We are told there is now no class system. I’ll believe that when I can afford some Quail on toast for my breakfast instead of my usual mould!!) would fly their colours loud and proud but there were others who would say nothing.
That’s up to them I suppose, but if you believe in something, why not voice it??
Although I would suggest Devil Worshipping and White Supremacy should probably be kept to oneself!!
Thanks so much and all the very best my fine friend.
Hugh
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I taught American politics for almost a decade, which had the two results of: 1) Convincing me that Marx knew what was talking about; and 2) Voting in this country is useless. It isn’t that we have to vote for the last evil bastard, it’s that our system makes it so much opium for the masses (See also: Gore v. Bush).
On the issue of paying for “publication search” processes, I can understand why people do it. It’s damned hard to track down someone who will be interested about a rather unpleasant fellow, employed by Death Himself, who continually screws up his job. It shouldn’t be, but it is. And I’m not someone who proudly collects rejections.
I was about to go off on a rant there, but I didn’t.
As for the policing of racism… I was once browbeaten because I drew a cartoon of Barack Obama using a stick figure. The argument was that stick figures are used in the game “hangman” and… fuck, have you ever seen me try to draw something? The sticks on the stick figure weren’t even straight. As our old mother-loving Dr. Freud said, “Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.”
And I won’t tie it all together by saying Bill Clinton would agree.
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Hi Thurman,
Being from where I am, not so much Racism but Sectarianism can be found in many inane places.
I once worked with a bunch of guys who were from Govan in Glasgow and mad Rangers fans. When we went to our place of work which was in an annex in the BT building, I was always confused as the Govan folks would always go up a flight of stairs to come back down into the workplace. I just veered off, walked a few yards and there I was. I asked them why and they stated, ‘We’ll never go to the *left if we can help it. I nearly choked.
But to tie your stick drawing as racism is beyond paranoia, narrow-mindedness and bloody stupidity!
I really do think you have a story there!!!!!
Thanks as always my fine friend.
Hope all is well with you and yours.
Hugh
*I read that back and realise that it’s as clear as mud if you are a normal human being and not from these parts. Sorry if this is well-known (Probably not – Our bigotry goes very deep. ‘Left-footer’ is a derogatory term for a Catholic. If I remember correctly, it comes from nothing more than the shape of a, wait for it, a spade!!!
Sorry to all who are reading this if I have been explaining what doesn’t need explaining. It’s weird to think on the specifics of our own country’s bigotry / hatred / stupidity and how well known it is else-where.
Hugh
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I’m glad you posted about the free to submit nature of Literally Stories and it is an important issue. I recently have finished a new piece that almost 10,000 words and have been looking around for somewhere to submit it. Now, I get that some charge, a few quid, might be acceptable for a longer piece, but I was aghast that one of them wanted $26 to read it!!! If that really works, then I’ll quit by job now and offer the same for $25!!!
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