Sunday Whoever

Time for another delve into the darkest secrets of one of our favourite writers. Alexander Sinclair first joined the Literally Stories family back in 2020 and has built up quite a list of shorts. It is a fascinating mix of work, well written, intriguing, and entertaining rather like his answers to our writer’s interview questions. Here is what he told us. p.s. This editor is fascinated by his answer to question 16!?

What topic(s) would you not take on?

Probably any topic with the possibility of a positive outcome for my characters. Romance maybe as its lazy in my opinion. Or anything too politically motivated. In my opinion politics, identity or otherwise comes across as professional wrestling for intellectuals, a staged and hokey conflict designed to generate division and gut reactions, so unless I could write a scathing satire of the whole mess then I wouldn’t bother.

What in your opinion is the best line you’ve written?

I’ve a fondness for my openers but I can’t choose one specifically. Thats not a line by the way.

Would you write what you would consider shite for money?

I’ve considered selling what little remains of my soul and hammering out some Martina Coleesque airport lounge fodder that some bloke will take to a Spanish beach and never read but my heart wouldn’t be in it. I’m not really in this for the money. Like all good monsters I can’t be bought, bullied or reasoned with.

Will you ever go Woke with your writing and use pronoun / non-descript characters and explore sensitive issues in an understanding and sensitive way?

I’d include self righteously woke characters with annoying beliefs in my work as long as I could kill them off brutally and without mercy.

Type something surprising.

Octopus have nine brains.

Do you see something different in a mirror that others don’t when they look at you?

Probably not. I look like what I am. A tosser!

The future – Bleak or hopeful?

If the past is anything to go by and the advances in technology and collective stupidity any clue, I’d say a carnival of mass scale slaughter and despair, all recorded and uploaded for likes on social media with HD camera phones that have somehow gained sentience and attached themselves to our heads.

What would you like to like as you hate that you hate it?

I’d love to like Nicholas Cage movies but the man is a tosser.

Records? Tapes? Or CDs?

I’m a 90s kid so CD’S all the way. Preferably with Black Sabbath written on the front of them.

What genre you don’t write in would you like to try?

I’d like to try a hardboiled detective novel, preferably set in Cambodia or even Mexico.

Bonus question (worth double points): What percentage of their time do Dogs spend thinking about food?

All the time and its specifically sausages. Dogs don’t care about us, they just tolerate us in the off chance that we will suddenly sling them a Walls lips and arseholes special.

Who was your English teacher and did she know about your writing ambitions?

A vivid memory is being told by my English teacher that I didn’t understand English or Literature and probably never would. My head of year My Martin however nurtured my love of reading despite my burgeoning delinquency and even gave me his copy of Blood Meridian to read. I will forever be grateful.

How long after you left school was it before you wrote anything aimed at publication?

Almost eleven or twelve years.

If you have an idea for a story in the middle of the supermarket what action do you take?

I will immediately type it down into the notes app on my phone. Same goes before bed. If I’m drifting off and an idea comes to me then I force myself to get up and get it down. You never know if the line you think of will be the line that cracks the case.

Do you find ideas come to you randomly or only when you sit down to write?

The idea is usually there before I man the guns and start firing but actually sitting down and writing gives it shape and texture and I usually don’t know where it will take me. The flow state that the act of typing conjures up helps the whole thing along.

Have you ever been on a writing retreat and if so how was it?

Not for me but good luck to those who can do and find success. My writing process is private, obsessive, and borderline pathological. And I do it in the nude!

What is the worst film version of a book that you’ve seen?

There are many and I usually cannot bring myself to watch a movie version of a book I love. Boston Tehran’s God Is A Bullet was recently butchered, as was Donald Ray Pollocks The Devil All The Time. It has to be said though that The Shining movie is better than the book.

What invention has been the downfall of the 20 / 21st century?

It would have to be the internet I reckon, even though it has aided my writing career tremendously.

How do you get kids to read?

 Get them early and try to show them the magic of it. Show them the freedom in those pages. Failing that you could threaten them with a stick of some sort.

If you had no bottle opener, how would you open a beer?

Probably use the edge of a lighter or failing that my gnashers.

How many friends and family ask how your writing is going?

Most of them.

Has anything you have written told you something about yourself you did not know (good or bad)?

Every piece I have written teaches me something new about myself. Writing is where I can be truly honest with myself.

Do you regret having a certain item published?

No. They were all necessary.

Do you have a work that has been repeatedly rejected that still means a lot to you?

No I try not to get emotionally attached. If it can’t survive on its own then I will let it die but I do believe there is a home for every piece.

Best song you have heard from 1986?

There is a light that never goes out by The Smiths.

Greatest 1970’s Movie?

Apocalypse Now.

Families, a blessing or a curse?

Both.

Sugar or salt?

Sugar.

Most overrated writer ever?

Hemingway bores the tits off me.

Would the slaughter of the British royal family generate more or less income?

Economics has never been a strong suit.

Alex Sinclair