Okay, strap in. Today is the turn of our beloved editor. Hugh Cron. Hugh is a founder member of the site and has worked incredibly hard over the years keeping it together in spite of personal and professional challenges. His Saturday posts are legendary and his cannon of writing extensive and diverse. So, who is Hugh:
Thanks so much folks for asking me these, it was a blast thinking (???) on them!!
I feel honoured!
…
What topic(s) would you not take on?
A – Trying to get pregnant. Not that it makes me emotional – I just want to punch their barren lights out for missing the point about being together.
What in your opinion is the best line you’ve written?
A – ‘The only chance of you getting’ your hole, would be if you were dead and Saville was alive.’ (Girl Of My Best Friend)
Would you write what you would consider shite for money?
A – Done so on many occasions when I’ve signed my employment contracts.
Will you ever go Woke with your writing and use pronoun / non-descript characters and explore sensitive issues in an understanding and sensitive way?
A – Already did so – ‘Never Being Confused’
I need to add to this…
Fuck off you woke bastards – Grow a set and get on with your lives! Life is hard – It has fuck all about being sensitive – It has fuck all about acceptance…Not in the way that you fuckers define acceptance – Acceptance is all about accepting those that you would consider never being acceptable! Listen to stories about your grand-fathers or great-grandfathers and take it from there.
Accept those who you don’t understand – Accept the intolerant, accept those films and music and TV shows from the 1970’s, understand that it was a sign of those times and they have to be remembered.
…If you can do this, however difficult, you sensitive cunts, then you may be as woke as you want!!!
Type something surprising.
A – Success is somewhere between an Eagle’s Talon and the sultana.
Do you see something different in a mirror that others don’t when they look at you?
A – Sobriety.
The future – Bleak or hopeful?
A – Bleak – I really need to give a power-point presentation to wee Greta.
What would you like to like as you hate that you hate it?
A – Gin and Tonic.
Records? Tapes? Or CDs?
A – CDs.
Has anything you have written told you something about yourself you did not know (good or bad)?
A – I’m a romantic. (See question 1.)
What genre you don’t write in would you like to try?
A- I wish I could write more horror but I have dabbled so it would have to be, (Not sure if it is a genre) ‘Dark Fable’
If you have an idea for a story in the middle of the supermarket what action do you take?
A- Say it to myself and slap my head as I do – The slap when used at home, reminds you of the idea…It also makes you get served quicker in the supermarket.
What invention has been the downfall of the 20 / 21st century?
A- Mobile – For something that is supposed to keep us connected, it has taken away so many folks social skills.
When you agreed to become an LS Editor did you realise it would take over your life?
A- No – But it didn’t have much to take over!
So glad though, I can lose myself in the site, reading and commenting. I can also get lost in the setting up but that is in a totally different way!!
Why is there no whisky/whiskey flavoured charcoal ?
A – ‘Cause all our teeth would turn black.
literally stories 
Hugh
Outstanding. A long time ago I was at a mandatory UI meeting in which the presenter told people never to place the year they graduated from high school on their resumes. Though I knew, I asked why? It took time to break the guy down, but he admitted that it is to avoid ageism. I went for the kill “Your logic tells me that women, homosexuals, and racial minorities must do all they can to conceal their circumstances due to misogyny, homophobia and racism. Isn’t what you infer the same as believing in ageism?” The reply was pure HR and not worth remembering.
That’s the sensitive game. It is rigged and someone has to fall.
Love your best line. I don’t much care for gin and tonic either. It reminds me of Alka seltzer.
Leila
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Hi Leila,
That maybe an idea for one of your Saturday Postings – The ten rules of ‘The Sensitive Game’!
I don’t agree with you regarding G&T as I like Alka Seltzer / Enos and Jaaps. (I wonder if you can still get them??) I think my problem with the flavour is that taste you get at the back of your throat reminds me of spewing!
Thanks to you both for asking me to do these, it was a blast!!
Hugh
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I feel so much better about my life, the hole is not as deep as I thought.
All the best Hugh.
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Hi James,
It is always a pleasure my fine friend!!
Apart from Gwen, alcohol and music my life has been mainly shit. But I have made peace with it. I have no expectations and gave up on total happiness when I was a teenager!
This year is as low as I’ve felt as on November the 14th – I will have been working for forty years. I’m just as far back as I was when I started. I resent every fucking second that I have to work and I despise all management and those enthusiastic pricks that we all come across.
However, for my own self-respect, I will never half-ass a job. I will do the best I can and only take one break…That is not me being a ‘Firms’…It’s just me knowing that the Bastards owe me!!!!!
Rainbows and Unicorns!
Rainbows and Unicorns!!!
Stay healthy and HAPPY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hugh
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Excellent Q & A. Fun and informative. My compliments to the asker and the askee. I had an idea for saying something else but forgot to slap my head.
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Watch the slap on the head thing Dave.
I helped out at ‘The Learning Shop’ in Ayr which assisted adults with literacy and numeracy. I suggested this technique to a fellow who always got stuck with 8X7. Even on our last meeting, when I asked him that question, he slapped himself on the head before saying ’56!’
Thanks as always my fine friend. Your interest in my nonsense humbles me!!!
Hugh
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Gin and tonic (known very locally – within 20 meters / 60 feet of where I am sitting as atomic gin) on the front porch shelling and eating peanuts on a warm day – yum.
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Hi Doug,
That sounds like a very happy day!
Maybe listening to Janis Joplin’s version of ‘Me And Bobby McGhee’ would enhance the experience.
I love the petrol look of G&T, but can’t thole the taste.
Stay being you!!
Hugh
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Or “Take Another Piece Of My Tart”
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fun, honest and a great read. Just like your stories, Hugh.
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Thanks so much Diane!
Such a compliment in so few words!
Another thanks to you and Leila for asking me to do this!
I did consciously try and keep the answers brief as I know I can go on a bit!!!!!!!!
…Give me a platform and I take the train station!!
Hugh
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Great stuff. As Diane said, just like your stories. Going to try the head slaps.
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Hi Mick,
Watch what you are doing with those slaps – See my answer to Dave!
I am so thankful for all of those who I respect and admire taking the time to comment on any form of my writing. Sharing this site with writers of the calibre that we have is probably the proudest thing I have ever been involved in.
All the very best my fine friend.
Hugh
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Great to see your answers Hugh and be reminded of some of your classic, beautifully and admirably irreverent lines. Great answers from a great attitude. Yes, I’ve used the word ‘great’ three times (now four…)
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