Week 427 – Having A Swatch, As You Can See, I’m Shit At Text Speak And Dirty Minds Rule!

Before I begin, I need to thank Leila for taking on my turn last week – I’ll come to the reason why in a moment.

I wonder what the difference is between me (Or those of my age / those who think the same) and some / most of those fledgling writers?

When I was first accepted on a site, I delved in and had a look. I was curious to see what and who they published. I wanted to read the stories of others and if there were any comments, I especially wanted to seek out those folks works especially.

It was a privilege that I was proud to be part of and I wanted to familiarise myself with as much as I could.

The reason I mention this is that I can’t get a grasp on those who don’t look, even after they are published. I can understand the bitterness of those who have been refused, but those who have been accepted, I can’t get my head around!

When everything was typed on a type writer (Electronic I might add, I’m not that old!) with no spell check, no grammar check and only a limited execution of a correction, it was a lot more difficult.

We then had to pay to photo-copy the work and pay again to send. It was all a labour of love / frustration – So was it all that, that made us more thankful / curious / excited when we were accepted?

In these days if someone wants to see their words, all they need to do is take out their phone and see what inane pish they typed the night before.

– I ws soooo wsted lst niet.

– Look at the brgr I just 8.

– Isss Creem is the bst.

– Jamie Maden is a cock-sucker.

– I luv Jamie Maden

– Wate to you see my furbaby, hees cald Justin.

– Justin will be there at or wedin.

All I want to say is ‘Folks, this is hard to do! But it was a lot harder!! SUPPORT EACH OTHER!!’

I have been struggling with a new but old computer. (Hence Leila stepping in last week) I’ve realised that the main reason that I hate technology is because it evolves. (Yep, I know!) But my point is when you get comfortable with a ‘version’, that ‘version’ shouldn’t change unless you want to access any updates. It should be stuck in time, letting you use it like your favourite booze. No surprises, just what you know and the limitations that you have with it.

I honestly want to stab someone through the face when there are updates that makes something ‘More user friendly’ – NAW IT FUCKING DISNAE!! It makes me have to think what I’m doing again. There is nothing worse than thinking on something you used to know.

…Don’t agree? Try this – Think about every breath you take and when you take them – You will either have a panic attack or choke.

– Think about walking – You will trip or end up looking like you have shit yourself.

– Think about your PIN number well before you reach the hole in the wall – You will have a mind fuck and forget it.

– Think about when you should stop pishing – Another pair of scants in the laundry!

I also think this idea should apply to haircuts and your lawn. You should be able to say, ‘That’ll do’ and that should be it.

Now onto this week’s stories.

We had three new folks, a returner and an old hand.

As always, our initial comments follow.

First up was our first new writer.

To them all we send them a warm welcome and we hope that they continue to submit and have fun on the site.

J.J Van Schaaijk got us up and running with, ‘Burning Away’

‘Hard going but a very good bit of work.’

‘Gripping.’

‘There’s always an excuse.’

On Tuesday we had Lee Stoddart for the second time.

‘In The Beginning’ was next up.’

‘The Rock won me over!’

‘The universe makes no sense.’

‘Well paced and beautifully controlled.’

Our second new writer broke the back of the week with, ‘How Soul-Globing Works.’

The author was Dino Alfier.

‘Very strange.’

‘Told with conviction and charm.’

‘Well paced.’

The newbies keep on coming!

Thursday was the day where we saw Ed Dearnley’s story, ‘A Door With A Thousand Locks’

‘Very well written.’

‘It asks many questions.’

‘Strange due to it being in a sort of suspended tense – Though neither feel inaccurate.’

We ended the week with a wonderful writer who has now been show-cased on the site for the twenty-fifth time.

‘By The Beautiful Pond’ was Harrison Kim’s latest outing for us.

‘The best locked naked to a tree I’ve read in ages.’

‘Weird – You can’t not read it!’

‘Surreal and peculiar.’

Another week is done and dusted.

Usual reminders, check out the Sunday features and if you want to get involved, send us an email.

And as always:

Comments – Good!

No comments – Sad!

Okay just before our usual musical finish, I’d like to explore the angelic writing mind against a normal one!

We are all writers in some form or another and we need to explore, consider and be prepared for tangents, offshoots, the obvious, and the unsaid.

With that in mind, I will write a few sentences and you must be honest – ONLY If you don’t snigger, then I want to ask you what is going on:

A man was invited to a nudist garden party. He looked at the host and said, ‘Thank you so much for inviting me and now that I’m here I don’t know what to admire more, your magnificent tits or your captivating pussy.’

She replied, ‘Well thank you. And I am impressed by your cock and balls’

When I think on it, this is a cracking example where ‘tell’ needs to be more considered than ‘show’!

…Answers on a postcard – Ah fuck, I did that not long ago. It is a weird phrase that was used years back. I suppose I have done my little bit for past phrasing history!!

With that last section, there is only one song that is (in)appropriate!

Hugh

Oh and Diane, I will be very interested in your choice of image!!