Short Fiction

Week 267 – Staple Titillation, Wondering What A Butterfly Tastes Like And Frying Tonight!

‘Guilty Pleasure’ is a term that should never be used. If you enjoy something, be proud of it. Why should you hide what gives you pleasure? Don’t you bother about what other people think.

Although I’m not talking about child molestation, incest or human sacrifice, keep those to yourself. Our royal family do.

I’ve heard some women admit to a ‘Mills And Boon’ being their guilty pleasure. Many adults say the same of certain children’s books. These are normally Edinburgh inspired works by a lettered author.

I am saddened at the demise of ‘scud mags’* as these were teenagers guilty pleasure (In so many ways)

Talking about porn, ‘Fifty Shades Of Grey’ can also be classified as this. And no ladies, this isn’t erotic fantasy, it’s porn without the pictures – Embrace it and admit that you’re getting the same buzz as your teenage son does after he has disabled the protection on your computer. Clean that keyboard thoroughly and probably the surrounding area.

When we get a biography sent in from writers they sometimes mention their reading inspirations and preferences. They are normally writers such as Dostoevsky, Chaucer, Woolf, Orwell, Austen etc. Very seldom do you see Blyton, Robbins, Hutson, Collins, Price, Ketchum or my personal favourite collaborators, Kettle and Christine.

Are they really telling the truth with their intellectual choices?

It’s the same with reports about serial killers. It is documented that Dahmer enjoyed listening to ‘Black Sabbath’ and watching ‘The Exorcist III’. But I’m sure that I read somewhere that he enjoyed watching ‘The Wizard Of Oz’ and ‘The Empire Strikes Back’.

Does evil really need to be fed by evil? Or can an Ewok and a Munchkin instigate malevolence?

They bring out the worst in me. I want to torch a Munchkin who is tied to an Ewok. And don’t get me started on what I would do to Yoda.

We seem to have expectations on what should be our preferences and this is all nonsense. Don’t say that you just adore a Chateau Lafite when you prefer a Blue Nun. If you enjoy a Fish Finger don’t replace this with a fantasy Sushi. And what the hell, if you prefer Boney M to Rachmaninov, be proud to listen to Boaby’s miming.

And if you like reading a well written, interesting autobiography by a talented and not in any way vain or self-centred, self-promoting reality TV star, then embrace it.

…(This space is for any comments of support of that statement.)

Use another few pages if you wish to comment on what is wrong with those words in that sentence. You could dissect each word, argue the whole statement, or write a few thousand words on the contradiction of terms pertaining to that one phrase.

Remember what this posting is all about so this must be done with love and respect for each other’s choices and guilty pleasures.

We might respect their right but we’ll never understand why!

Onto our stories of the past five days.

We had two new writers, a returning author, an appreciated continual contributor to the site and me.

The topics this week include; A beard, make-up, not witnessing, caring and revelation.

As always our initial comments follow.

Our first of our two new authors was published on Monday.

We welcome both of them, hope they have fun on the site and more importantly, we want to see what else they can come up with.

Charlie Rogers began the week with, ‘Instead Of Yelling At The TV‘.

‘The MC is very visible.’

‘Poor old Rufus!’

‘Great tone and a constant voice.’

My story ‘Concealer‘ was published on Tuesday.

There was an acknowledgement to Diane Conway who inspired this story. I worked with Diane for eight months and she made me laugh every day. I hope I did this story justice.

And as always, thanks to Nik and our Diane for all their help and support of my nonsense.

It’s always a pleasure to publish Harrison Kim’s work.

He supports the writers by commenting and his work is worth checking out – You’ll not be disappointed.

In The Hills Of The Okanagan‘ broke the back of the week.

‘You want to read on, you want to find out if he gets his revenge.’

‘The scene setting was excellent.’

‘At the end, you are left like him, you don’t experience the revenge. It takes a skilful and confident writer to do this.’

Next up, it was the return of Michael Henson.

His second story was entitled ‘Preach‘ and it was published on Thursday.’

‘The on-off care for the baby from both the brother and sister was very well observed.’

‘I was completely enthralled by this.’

‘At the end, I felt a little sad for everyone.’

And we finish off the week with our second new writer. The same welcome applies.

Crispin Anderlini’s ‘Shade Of Blue‘ was published on Friday.

‘All the unsaids and hints were well judged.’

‘This was packed with passion and emotion.’

‘I enjoyed reading this, it is a very accomplished piece of writing.’

That’s us for another week.

Please have a comment. Even just a wee one. Just tell us that you are out there and have read something – We’d like that.

And Leila does a sterling job with the Sunday Re-Run but she is fed up picking herself for the Secret Santa when it comes around. Another few folks would be very welcome to give her a break. We can’t thank her enough for the courtesy and encouragement that she has given so many. I’m sure she would love to see her brilliant posts be the catalyst for others.

So if you want a go at this, pick an older story that you’ve enjoyed, write a spiel or an introduction and throw in a few questions for the author. We’ll publish exactly what you write.

I do find it a bit weird that we are giving folks a chance for their words to be read with no selection process and no-one takes us up on that.

We really are a shy lot – Aren’t we???

Just before I go off to watch my intellectual film of choice, ‘Carry On Screaming’, one last thing:

There’s a difference from a guilty pleasure to a guilty secret.

Guilty pleasures can be told and even though you will be ridiculed for the rest of your life, there will be no harm done.

A guilty secret is something that should only be kept to yourself.

To explain, if Michael Jackson enjoyed Gary Glitter’s music – That is a guilty pleasure.

If Gary Glitter taught Michael Jackson everything he knew – That is a guilty secret!

Hugh

*Scud – Naked. Slap.

Example: I wis havin a swatch at oor Billies scud mags and ma mither caught me, she caw’d me a mingin wee perv and gave me a scud roon the heid. It was fair loupin so it wis.

(I was looking at some of my brother’s Porn Magazines and my mother caught me. She called me a dirty little pervert and struck me on the back of the head. It hurt. It throbbed and I want to emphasise that.)

Image by jhathome from Pixabay

Hugh – Offended and hurt he is. Revenge he will take. 🙂

3 thoughts on “Week 267 – Staple Titillation, Wondering What A Butterfly Tastes Like And Frying Tonight!”

  1. Cheers Diane!
    What an image!
    He looks like a cross between an oyster and a de-scaled Gremlin.
    And what’s going on with those nails? No wonder Luke had a high voice!
    Hugh

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Other than the possibility that some of my bath towels are labeled PROPERTY of HILTON, I have no criminal record worth mentioning. But inside my head I am as terrible as Professor Moriarty. Got an upstairs neighbor with a step like a dropped bowling ball. I delight and cackle over what I would enjoy doing to that hammerhead. Can’t tell anyone. Copycats, you know.
    Also, goddam Yoda looks as safe to be around as Chester the Molester.

    Like

    1. Hi Leila,
      Simple solution to the neighbour. Stop feeding the cats and tell them at their many dinner times that you are stressed because of the neighbour and that is why you can’t feed them. They will take matters into their own paws and he will disappear. Or they may eat you in your sleep.
      On second thoughts, hire a hitman – Overall it would probably be much safer.
      Thanks so much. You make writing the posting worthwhile!
      Hugh

      Like

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