“Hey there pretty lady, lookin’ good!”
“Hi Chris, didn’t expect to see you here. Alone and on a school night!!”
“What the fuck, I needed a drink! And I really don’t give a shit about the job, so, so what if I go in half-mangled…What about you? Waiting for someone?”
“Yep, but looks like the dick has stood me up.”
“Anyone I know?”
“Hope not!”
“What do you mean?”
“Don’t judge me…But I met him on line.”
“Aww for fuck sake Linda, I’ve told you not to go near that!! I mean, a cunt in a bar or in a club and you have at least a chance of sussing the fucker out!”
“I know but it wasn’t a date site or any of that shite, he was selling a couch.”
“What?!”
“It just happened, I was looking for a new couch…”
“I got that!!”
“…And he had someone who he had promised it to, and he had me as second choice and the text’s went from there.”
“Second choice Linda!! Did that no ring any alarm bells when he arranged this meeting??”
“No really, he seemed sweet.”
“Sweet? So he didn’t ask for a picture of your flaps?”
…
…
“Aww fuck!! You didnae? Tell me you didnae? And if you have a picture of his cock, I really don’t want to see!”
“It just happened, it was natural, it felt right.”
“Jesus fuck, are you for real? If you tell me that you sent this cunt any money I will stab you right now!!”
“No of course not! Do you think I’m daft?”
“…Well, aye!!”
“It’s been an hour, I don’t think he’s coming.”
“He’s coming all right. He’s either a fourteen year old pulling the head off of it over your snap or should I say snatch, or some hundred year old trying to get rid of his spider web whilst trying to remember what the fuck he is looking at!!”
Linda laughed, “Fuck it! I’ve always wanted some fame, maybe at least one part of me will be all over the internet!! Fuck it again, want to share a bottle of wine?”
“Nope, this has to be a treble vodka night for you?”
“What the hell! I’ll get the first one.”
Chris smiled as she went to the bar and hoped that him shaving would have saved him from being recognised.
literally stories 
Unmistakably, Hugh. These things – written from life – are often a bit shocking but so very real. thanks – dd
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Hi Diane,
I’ll always take the word ‘real’!!
Thanks as always and thanks for sorting my gaff with this.
All the very best.
Hugh
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Hugh
That final line is a brilliant summation of the reason why the comet that wiped out the Dinosaurs arrived way too early. Funny and brutal. Honesty and humour are the silver and gold of life and you know the differences between the two and all their fakes.
Leila
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Hi Leila,
High praise in deed!
This was fun to think on and write. I find the subject matter absurd, worrying and hysterical all at the same time.
Thanks as always.
Hugh
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I can only wonder if it all turns bad, how awkward the police identification line up of the suspect is going to be. A sort of ‘Naked Attraction’ situation.
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Hi James,
I never thought of a line up!
In this day and age though some smart arse lawyer will make a living out of defending these situations.
It’s great to see you around the site.
Thanks for the thoughts and comments.
Hugh
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Hugh
You create sudden drama in a handful of dialogue and somehow the reader knows what’s going on all around the rest of the tale, which must be some sort of fictional magic trick with the level of clarity you achieve. Your pieces must be based on a deep personal knowledge of your characters which makes all the things they say bring extra weight while also seeming “random” as conversations in life usually do. You never waste time lingering upon the less-than-important details and your conclusions always reveal something new about the characters in the most natural of ways. I envy your skill/s with a line of dialogue. Like Hemingway and Bukowski, you can say it all in the ways your people speak to each other. Nothing better than stripped-back, spare, sparse writing but only when it’s done right, as it is here.
Dale
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Hi Dale,
Thanks so much for your usual interesting and thoughtful comments.
I reckon I have honed the craft by eavesdropping too many times!!
Two things can happen, I either have an outline for a story, omissions and all or I get a punch in the face!!
Thanks again my fine friend.
Hugh
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Damn it, should’ve seen that last line comin’, but you concealed it too well. The couch was a great distraction. Hope you had a good New Year, mick
‘
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Hi Mick,
The last line was all about my thoughts on these pictures!
I do wonder though what would you rather you repelled a potential partner with, a picture of your face or your genitalia???
Thanks for the good wishes. I hope this year proves the last fifty eight wrong!!
Hugh
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Vulgarity with a purpose, and it well succeeds. For better or worse, this is a realistic slice of life. Well done, Hugh
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Hi Dave,
Thanks as always!!
You are quite right, if vulgarity has a purpose, that’s acceptable. If its just for the sake of it, that’s a different matter!!
All the very best my fine friend.
Hugh
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Hi Hugh
The dialogue punches you in the face, and the story takes you for a ride. Very real characters! This is about how things go in our disturbing world.
Christopher
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Hi Christopher,
It’s interesting what you say about dialogue. Clever, sarcastic and articulate can say the same as some profanity…But the profanity is easier to spell!!
Thanks as always my fine friend, hope you are doing well!
Hugh
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Hugh
Chris and Linda seem to have about the same chance together no matter which way Chris chooses to work it. None. Or perfect for each other. Hopefully neither will know the difference one way or the other. Lots of fun!!! What do we care? — Gerry
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Hi Gerry,
That’s a very interesting observation.
I hadn’t considered what would have happened to them!!
That gives me something to think on!
Thanks so much!
All my very best to you and yours.
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As is frequently the case, I don’t understand. The last line baffled me. Help me someone please.
Mirthless wasting away in Sunset City
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Hi Doug,
It was him who set her up by pretending to sell the couch. He sent her a photo, not of his face. The last line pointed out that he had shaved not his face, hoping that she wouldn’t recognise him.
Awww, it’s not so much fun if it needs to be explained!
…Actually…It was!!
You made me smile this morning my interesting friend!!!
All my best to you and Sharon!
Hugh
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Absolutely hilarious!! Love the dialogue. Felt like I was sitting in a bar in Scotland! I’m still chuckling (do people actually chuckle?) – thanks for the laugh Hugh
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Hi Karen,
Thanks for the kind words, they are much appreciated!
We still do chuckle, normally when someone slips and falls!!!
It’s great to see you around the site and I hope we see more of your work very soon.
All the best to you and yours.
Hugh
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