The feeling had been growing inside of Henrik Hammersmith for quite a while now.
Damn construction noise.
Start again.
The feeling had been growing inside of Henrik Hammersmith for quite a while now.
What was that feeling?
Sip of iced coffee. Swallow pills.
That fan feels nice. Muffled car honking outside window. Eyes teary.
Start again.
The feeling had been growing inside of Henrik Hammersmith for quite a while now.
That was a cool TikTok. The Beatles working on Octopuses Garden. John Lennon asking “Richie” (Ringo) what instrument he should play (Drums) with John grabbing a tambourine. Abbey Road was my favorite Beatles album growing up. Something, Oh Darling, Come Together, Maxwell’s Silver Hammer, Here Comes The Sun, etc. Just great songs fun to sing. Songs with soul.
The divorce papers were in an opened envelope on the table surrounded by bankers boxes full of old memories.
Each day brought new challenges. New catastrophes. Opportunities.
Finally some resolution.
The feeling had been growing inside of Henrik Hammersmith for quite a while now.
Time to make the daily list of annoying stuff to do. Sales mode. Shark-like aggression. Phone calls. Meetings.
But first grocery-shopping. Mailing out payments. Getting ready to ramp up and go to war. One step forward two steps back. The competition is out there everywhere. Brazen and aggressive. Twenty years fighting for freedom. Fighting to survive. Fighting for respect. Fighting to do the right thing. Fighting. Getting punched in the face and getting back up. Slower than before. More vulnerable than ever but still willing to go to the wall.
The feeling had been growing inside of Henrik Hammersmith for quite a while now.
Gonna make the bed and make the list. Gonna sip the coffee and eat the frog. Rebook that flight. Bring flowers after she’s cooled off. Maybe take a stab at some new flash. Maybe go check out a new monitor at Best Buy.
Check in on my peeps.
Midweek. More challenges til we get to the weekend. Will let that phone call go to voicemail. Not my priority or agenda. Saying no is important.
Try to remember that.
This is important too. Not for anyone else. But for me. It is my secret. It is my way. It frees me up to be.
Maybe one day someone will see the value in this ritual. Maybe the output will one day match the process. But that’s not for me to decide. I just know that it works for me. And maybe for you too. If you are reading this and understanding what I am trying to say with words that flow like water without discernible meaning or purpose. Maybe one day someone else will get it. And that’s ok if they don’t because I do and the feeling rises up within me and washes over me like a musical crescendo from Bizet’s Carmen. Tears roll down my face without shame. While telemarketers text about scheduling exploratory meetings and doormen wash the dirty sidewalk with red hoses in the sun. I do this. I do this. I do this.
Baner Image: a notepad with several sheets scrunched up and tossed aside from Pixabay.com
Image: A charcoal sketch by the author of small people bustling about the feet of someone who is seated.
literally stories 
There is a definite rhythm and pace to this that works so well – I mention this writer a lot, but Jon Fosse springs to mind, as does Kazuo Ishiguro’s The Unconsoled, in that both deal with repetition, shifts in pace, and an insight into a mind more than into a plot – which, in my opinion, takes real skill to pull off, but that is precisely what you’ve done here.
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The pace and tone of this was great and I found it just pulled me along. A glimpse into the mind of the narrator and a chance to build an image and a sense of him. I found him determined, a little disappointed but stoic (sorry Hugh – he he – Hugh doesn’t like that word!)
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HAH!! Diane,
I’d say there are worse words but I’d be wrong, there are a load that are on a par though!!!!
Hugh
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Adam
Fantastic art work once again…like entering a maze…
The story catches the quick maze circles of thinking we are forced into by the repetitive stimulization of life, TikTok and writer obsession. I would say it is driving us mad if I was uncertain that “has driven” does less to describe the situation.
Another winner!
Leila
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Hi Adam,
Brilliantly sparse as always!
Not many writers can change the POV and not make it sound forced!!
At the beginning the distance from narrator to character intrigues. When it moves to first person, the story tantalises with more personal revelations!!
Clever, skilled and interesting!!
Hugh
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A master class in the power of repetition. When I got to the line ‘maybe take a stab at some new flash’, it hit me like a slap in the face. Brilliant!
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Adam,
Very creative and very much YOU. This sort of personally styled writing will soon be history if the AI crowd continues to perfect what we do. Put in what you write and out comes PERFECT. Perfect for a robot. This story was crafted! Thanks. — gerry
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I like the stream-of-consciousness style. The fragments capture Henrik’s scattered state of mind and the mix of everyday detail is effectively tied to things with emotional weight. We all try to find ways to get by. (Excellent art work, too.)
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This hooked me in a strange kind of way. I can’t say I enjoyed it but I also can’t let it go. An appropriate note to end this week on.
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Scary close to quiet desperation.
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Love the raw honesty of this.
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