Digital to Analog Conversion by Bud Pharo

Annie never imagined she could have feelings for anyone—she wasn’t built that way, literally. As a first-generation Alpha-Lima model designed for general off-world service, she wasn’t capable of having independent aspirations, much less emotions.

However, once the lunar ice mining boom began, criminality soon followed. To meet the growing demand for law enforcement, many Alpha-Limas, including Annie, underwent an extensive policing retrofit. Due to strict contract delivery deadlines, Annie was redeployed with many untested law enforcement enhancements, an upgraded sensory suite, and an all-new neural network socialization architecture designed to closely replicate human behavior.

So, here she was, a newly minted android law enforcement officer about to perform lunar law enforcement duties with multiple untested upgrades running a beta operating system—what could possibly go wrong?

###

“A freaking robot—they’re sending us an android—that’s nerd code for robot!” Captain George “Wyatt” Earp, commander of Ice Station Deadwood’s police detachment, grumbled as he reviewed its implementation protocols.

“Sir, she’s actually an android officer—an AO,” Detective Sergeant James “Doc” Holliday said, very aware that the captain disliked being corrected.

Earp, a devout technophobe, distrusted most modern technological advances and had taken the Deadwood assignment only because of its lunar service stipend. However, much to his delight, he soon discovered that Ice Station Deadwood operated more like its namesake than a lunar rocket-fuel production facility, thus making him its de facto sheriff. He embraced this role by wearing a black Stetson and carrying a vintage Colt revolver while making his rounds.

“Doc, the last thing we need is a rolling garbage can with flashing lights pretending to be a cop!” Earp snapped. “Now, send R2 Po-Po back to Radio Shack or wherever it came from!”

Holliday had never heard of Radio Shack, but it didn’t seem like a place to return androids. “Sir, all android officer tour curtailments must be coordinated through the commissioner’s office.” He knew this would irritate Earp, who viewed the lunar consortium’s police commissioner as a tech geek and not a true cop. However, even from her office on Earth, she could still make his life difficult, something he did not need as he neared retirement.

After thinking about the ramifications of challenging the commissioner’s decision, he relented. “Okay! Have it report to my office,” he said, forcing a smile. A few minutes later, Deadwood’s first android law enforcement officer reported for duty.

“Sir, Android Officer Annette Oakley is reporting for duty,” she said, rendering a crisp hand salute, then adding, “Most people just call me Annie.”

“Ah, welcome to Deadwood,” was all Earp could say. His impression of what an android officer would look like did not match what he saw before him: a brown-haired, green-eyed female of medium height dressed in a deputy’s khaki uniform who looked, spoke, and acted very human.

###

Before Annie’s arrival, the Lunar Law Enforcement Consortium Internal Affairs Office received an anonymous complaint alleging that serviceable drilling equipment, previously reported as destroyed during operations, was being sold to competing lunar mining companies. Annie’s mission was to aid the investigation while providing general police services.

Before deploying, Internal Affairs told her that Detective Holliday was a first-rate cop who had become distraught after losing a partner in the line of duty. Once he had been cleared to return to duty, he immediately requested lunar service, thinking a change of assignment would be beneficial. They emphasized that he was someone she could depend upon and trust.

###

After working together for several weeks, Doc found that Annie’s methodical approach meshed well with his no-nonsense investigative style. As human-to-android relationships were exempt from the fraternization policy, they spent many off-duty hours discussing cases at the station leisure facility, the Ice Rush Saloon. Yet even if there had been a fraternization policy, it would not have been enforced—after all, this was Deadwood. Doc had been pleasantly surprised that Annie could eat, drink, laugh, and make casual conversation.

“My integrated socialization infrastructure includes an artificial digestive tract that produces biofluids used throughout my body to replicate human secretions. And just like a human digestive tract, it periodically requires emptying,” she explained. “And before you ask, yes, I occasionally need to use the restroom,” she added with a playful smile.

“Annie, I don’t mean to sound crass, but are you anatomically correct too?” he asked, then immediately regretted it.

“Wow, Doc, is that your speed dating pick-up line? What’s next—you’ll show me yours if I show you mine?” she asked, feigning shock as she clutched imaginary pearls to her chest.

“Oh, Annie, I’m so sorry. That was rude and insensitive,” he said, reddening.

“Relax, I know what you meant… and, yes, I am anatomically correct, down to the smallest detail. But tread carefully; they say once you’ve gone full-android, there’s no going back!” she said, with a wink.

The more time they spent together, the closer they became. Holliday had never met anyone as interesting and captivating as Annie. Could he really be falling for an android? If so, did she—could she—feel the same about him?

After one particularly late night at the saloon, he summoned enough courage to ask, “Annie, may I kiss you goodnight?”

“Sure, I know that it’s something humans do if they like one another; let’s go for it,” she said, then surprised him by leaning in and kissing him full on the lips. She was coded to never get within a human’s interpersonal space unless it was required to make an arrest or save a life. However, this just felt like something she had to do. It was completely illogical, but very pleasurable and extremely worrisome.

“What’s wrong?” Doc asked when he saw her concerned look. “Was it that bad?”

“No, it was quite pleasant. It’s just that something strange happened. I felt a tingling sensation in my lower abdomen, and my artificial heart rate and respiration increased for no apparent reason. I think there may be a serious coding error in my socialization interface.”

“Oh, Annie, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with you,” Doc said, trying to alleviate her concern. “Maybe it’s not a bug—maybe it’s a feature,” he added. “Let’s try it again,” he said, leaning in and kissing her gently. “How was that?”

“The same sensations, but much stronger this time,” she said. “Do you think I need to evacuate my digestive tract? Maybe that’s it, although this feels very different.”

“No, Annie, I don’t think it’s that. I think you’ve crossed the digital Rubicon into the analog world of unpredictable human emotions,” Doc said, smiling. “It’s not your code—you’re evolving—it’s something you should cherish, not look to fix. I believe you are becoming more and more human by the day.” Tears of joy welled in his eyes.

“Doc, that’s the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me,” she said, as another new emotion surfaced and a tear trickled down her cheek. She leaned in and kissed him again. This time, the feelings were stronger yet.

###

A week later, Earp sent Annie on a solo mission to investigate a suspected break-in at a remote equipment storage corral, which drill crews nicknamed The Not-OK-Corral since much of the equipment on hand never seemed to match its inventory listing. Once through the airlock, she saw a familiar figure, the captain, holding a pulse rifle pointed directly at her.

“Sir, what’s going on?” she asked but already knew the answer, as Doc had previously confided that he believed Earp was involved.

“I thought for sure you and your boyfriend had figured it out,” he said.

“Why betray your oath?” she asked.

“Duh, for the money, of course,” he said, keeping the rifle trained on her.

“But you’re supposed to have honor and integrity.”

“Why do you care, you’re just a machine,” he scoffed.

“I care about the law and the people we’re sworn to protect.”

“Yeah, right, but you don’t have real feelings, do you, Annie?” he mocked. “So when I accidentally put a pulse round through your chassis, they’ll strip you for parts. It’ll be bye-bye, Android Officer Annie Oakley; hello, droid parts bin.”

“I’m a self-aware sentient android, not a droid,” she corrected him. “Even a Luddite like yourself should know the difference. Now, put down the rifle, or I will be forced to disarm you!”

“Oh, I don’t think that will be happening,” Earp laughed. “Guess what? I actually read your operations manual, so I’ll be turning you off now,” he sneered. “Execute the emergency shutdown sequence for Android Officer Annette Oakley, authorization code 0227,” he barked. Nothing. He repeated the code. Still nothing.

“Oops, code not working?” Annie asked, grinning. “You see, we thought you were involved, so Doc petitioned the commissioner to deactivate my shutdown code response—now put the rifle down!” she ordered.

While Earp focused on Annie, Doc crept into the warehouse, getting within a few yards of him without being detected. As Earp was about to repeat the code, she lunged at him with lightning speed, sending the rifle skittering across the floor. As she went to secure it, Earp drew his revolver, spun, and pointed it at Holliday.

“Doc, say goodbye to your robot girlfriend and hello to your dead partner!” he yelled.

Just as he pulled the trigger, Annie launched herself through the air in Earp’s direction; the bullet meant for Doc ripped into her left shoulder. Despite the damage, she still managed to subdue him before he could get off another shot. Doc rushed forward to assist her. Together, they disarmed and handcuffed him.

“Please, please be okay, Annie; I can’t lose you too!” a worried Doc said, cradling her.

“I’m okay; my diagnostics indicate no major damage, and my nanobots are already starting to repair the wound,” she explained.

“That’s a relief, but why did you do something so risky?” he asked, still holding her.

“Because I love you!” she said, then pulled him close and kissed him.

“I love you too!” he said softly, gently hugging her and stroking her hair.

Pulling back slightly from his embrace, Annie said, “So, I guess this means you were right all along; it really is a feature and not a bug,” she said as she kissed him again, reveling in her latest human emotion: love.

Bud Pharo

Image: Eye of a cyborg from pixabay.com