Here we are at Week 527!
Before we begin, I’d like to mention an actor who passed away this week and was in three of my favourite films that I have watched numerous times; ‘The Towering Inferno’, ‘The Count Of Monte Cristo’ and ‘The Man In The Iron Mask’.
R.I.P. Richard Chamberlain.
My old hatred of adverts was dampened this week. There is Peter Crouch (6’7’’ inch Liverpool and England Footballer.) who is advertising, well, I think it’s some sort of washing powder?? The advert is terrible but the guy always makes me smile due to one of the best one liners I’ve ever heard. He was asked by an interviewer what would he have been if he hadn’t been a footballer and he answered, ‘A virgin.’
There is an advert couple of friends called June and Derek and they advertise Sun Life funeral plan. I really want to see them both lying in their fucking boxes!! The adverts have irritated for years. I can’t believe that something I hated is something that now makes me giggle. There is a new advert for it. The wee dug is brilliant!!
I had to show you it!
I was amused to read of Leila’s mum’s hatred of Jerry Lewis last week. I can totally understand although I did have a soft spot for ‘The Nutty Professor’
I saw a dramatisation called ‘Martin And Lewis’ years back starring Sean Hayes and Jeremy Northam (I had to look him up) and I thought it was well done. It showed Lewis as a controlling and narcissistic individual who had a profound jealousy of Dean Martin.
I didn’t realise that Jeremy Northam was in one of my favourite films. He was in ‘Amistad’. The scene on how they ‘Lightened the load’ was one of the most harrowing I’ve ever seen! Whilst I was checking the spelling I found out that ‘Amistad’ means ‘friendship’ – Well that is a fucking travesty!!!
Since I’m talking about films and I’ve mentioned Leila’s Posting of last week with her humour section, I thought I would tie the two in.
If you want to let us see your list, we would be very interested! I was thinking of my favourite comedy films and came up with these ten.
In no particular order:
Mystery Men.
Cat Baloo.
Dogma.
The Mean Machine.
Me, Myself And Irene.
Some Like It Hot.
Ruthless People.
Slapshot.
Young Frankenstein.
Still Crazy.
We have been receiving a lot of multiple submissions lately, which is totally fine. But I would like to pass on a wee word of warning. If you do this and you have a repetition in your work, it is highlighted if there are more than one example at the same time. For instance: Over describing, too much stage business, unrealistic dialogue, excessive adverbs, preaching, winging your subject matter and clumsy social commentary.
We would probably spot any of these within one submission but if you send seven or eight, it slaps us around the face and as soon as we see a common negative trait, we are liable to refuse and not read any-more of that particular story.
Okay, onto the stories this week.
We had two new folks, a returner, a sixth timer and a writer who has a very impressive thirty four stories on the site.
As always, our initial comments follow.
First up was Matt Harrison. Matt is a new writer, and he was published on Monday with ‘Low Visibility.’
‘That buffet sounds horrible!’
‘Great tone and flow.’
‘I enjoyed the prose.’
Christopher Ananias graced the site for the sixth time. His offering on Tuesday was entitled, ‘Dirty Screen.’
‘It’s heartbreaking that people need to live like this.’
‘Cruel and harsh but never gratuitous.’
‘Honest and real.’
Our second new writer was Michael Loyd Gray with ‘Killing Time.’
To both our debut writers, we welcome them and hope that they have fun on the site.
‘The sad ending worked well.’
‘This won me over easily.’
‘Great tone.’
Harrison Kim was next up with, ‘The Master Of Masters.’ This was Harrison’s thirty fourth story for us.
‘Odd, well written and a bit disturbing.’
‘Enthralling.’
‘From part way through we knew that something diabolic was going on.’
And we finished off on Friday with Scott Taylor’s second story, ‘Have Your Say.’
‘The MC’s bad ideas kept him going.’
‘This works well.’
‘A well written character.’
That’s another week rounded up.
The site is looking very healthy. We have around four months of stories in the publishing larder. The comments have been brilliant. Our site hits are now over one million and thirty thousand! We continue to attract new writers and our established writers continue to submit!!
But that doesn’t mean you can be complacent!!! Please keep doing what you are doing.
I normally type something light-hearted for an ending and I’m actually typing this on April Fools Day so I could talk pish (Sorry, more pish!) but I’d like to share the headline from The Daily Record Newspaper. All us Scots will have been wishing it was a prank story but sadly it isn’t!
The headline:
April Cruel Day.
The by line:
– Energy, Council Tax, Water and Rent all increase today. – Scots must now pay more and more with less and less.
I’m quite sure that most of Britain is in the same boat as are many countries around the world. But I’m comforted in the fact that my wages have went up forty quid a month…That will cover at least one of them!!!
The firm I work for made Pre-Tax profits of over two billion.
The CEO’s wage including bonus was ten million.
Man he must be gutted and really envious if he reads of my forty fucking quid a month!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Oh, and that is two tier – I won’t receive it all until August.)
For music now. This is one of my all time favourites. Both these guys did brilliant versions but I thought it best to have them both together!!
Billy Connolly once said of Phil Lynott that he was the greatest Irishman that had ever lived!!
And with what I’ve read of his wee mam, she is the greatest Irish Lady who ever lived!!!
Image: Tragedy and Comedy – Capitoline Museums, Public domain, via Wikimedia Commons – Two masks one laughing and one rather disturbed! from a mosaic.
literally stories 
Hello Hugh
I must have been absent the day the world changed nudist to naturist. Ye gods, if we were meant to go around like that God would not have invented shame. (that is a rare amusing insurance commercial!)
To your excellent list I like to add two films that I find brilliantly funny yet they are not strictly comic.
Trainspotting and Once Upon a Time in Hollywood. They made heroin and the Manson Family hilarious.
Great post!
RIP Doc Holliday
Leila
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Hi Leila,
Thanks as always.
I had thought (Especially) about ‘Trainspotting’. I had also considered all of Tarintino’s (Did I spell that right…I think I always get it wrong) but I reckon they are in a category of their own, that would be ‘Brilliance’!!
Welsh had something to do with ‘Wedding Belles’ and that was why I didn’t include it. If you haven’t watched it, please do and let me know what you think. I can’t say it’s a comedy, it’s as dark as pitch. If you watch it, you will know the scene I’m talking about!!
‘Once Upon A Time In Hollywood’ was slated by a few friends, but I don’t think they realised about the ‘One Upon…’ bit??? It was a fantasy that we all wish had happened!!!!
…Jesus Fuck!!! That was a clever title!!!! Probably the best I have ever known of!!!!
Oh I also loved the comic value of ‘Saving Private Ryan’…The sincere looking, no chinned wank that is Tom Wanks got fucking shot!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Cheers!!
Hugh
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ooops – bit previous – my fault sorry. But at least it gives readers more time to enjoy your post. Ah Richard Chamberlin – there’s a bit of my youth moved on. I had the maddest crush on him. He aged very well I have to say. Another great post Hugh, thank you. I must admit I am not a big one for comedy films although now and then something will make me laugh loud enough to be told to stop laughing so loud! Right now though I can’t think of any that I have stored in the old brain palace. Oh, no — Fun with Dick and Jane! that just popped in there. the proper one with George Segal and Jane Fonda – can’t abide Jim Carrey. dd
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Hi Diane,
George Segal was the best character in ‘The Goldbergs’.
And you mentioned Jane Fonda who was in my list with ‘Cat Baloo’. I think her and her dad fell out due to politics (Fuck me!!!) but when they were cast together on ‘On Golden Pond’ they healed the rift. Brilliant film I might add…One of the few films with very few cast that was superb!! (Sleuth’ with Olivier and Cain also springs to mind.)
Carey can be annoying but apart from ‘Me, Myself And Irene’ I also liked ‘Cable Guy’, that was a bit dark.
Thanks as always for everything you help me with!!!!
Hugh
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Hugh,
Fluffy saved the advert’s attempt at humor for me, even though the pup was already a naturalist.
You are so right: we don’t need to know what color the ceiling is if a character is walking through a room. Maybe if she’s flying. Descriptions of unnecessary things magnificently done still wastes everyone’s time and takes away from what matters. A comrade recently threw this my way, “The smokey sky opened to the shining crescent moon’s sliver.”
I would like to include “Caddy Shack” to the comedy films, which has some great moments, like the minister playing golf in the storm and almost everything Bill Murray does. It’s also enhanced by Jim Carrey absence. — Gerry
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Hi Gerry,
You really should have nutted the comrade!! Even if he was bigger, stronger and more able. Sometimes you just need to make a point!!!
Bill Murray is a god. I nearly included ‘Scrooged’ but the ending let it down.
Not sure if this is an urban myth but I heard that (At those times) Bill refused to have an answer machine and that was why he lost out on so many roles???
See my answer to Diane regarding Carey. But in a comedic sense I also liked him in the first ‘Pet Ventura…’
Thanks so much for the comment. Much appreciated.
Hugh
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That commercial is hilarious. Don’t think it would be allowed on the broadcast airwaves here in the states, but maybe on cable. Good list of comedy movies. I’d forgotten about Cat Ballou. I can still picture Lee Marvin drunk and falling asleep on his horse, which I believe is what led to the death of Genghis Khan.
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Hi Dave,
Thanks as always my fine friend.
…And here is a wee reminder.
This creases me up every time that I see it!!
All the very best to you my fine friend!
Hugh
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Ha! He was quit a singer! You might also check out his rendition of I Was Born Under A Wanderin’ Star from Paint Your Wagon.
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Hi Hugh!
My favorite comic film of all time is probably “A Dog’s Life,” by Charlie Chaplin. The Little Tramp was never more sympathetic or hilarious than he is in this film and the dogs in it are awesome. “The Little Guy” the world over takes his revenge on all the Predatory Authority Figures as in all of Chaplin’s films. Chaplin’s version of Adolf Hitler in “The Great Dictator” also destroys evil in the only way that’s possible.
Two more of the greatest comic film performances of all time that I know of are Marilyn Monroe in BUS STOP and Anthony Perkins in THE TRIAL.
Marilyn’s performance is so good it seems like she’s not even acting, and Perkins captures The Age of Anxiety in THE TRIAL so well that it’s very much a one-of-a-kind thing. The humor in THE TRIAL is often as dark as it gets, especially when, at the end (spoiler alert), the world gets blown up by nuclear war, but Welles’ voice continues after what we think is the final frame – so the story goes on.
Two comedy movies that fall under the “B” category and are very much worth mentioning are THE BLUES BROTHERS and THE BIG LEBOWSKI.
THE BLUES BROTHERS captures certain aspects of Chicago far better than any other film I’ve ever seen, and the world created by THE BIG LEBOWSKI is both so real and so not-real at the same time that the funniest things about this film are things that most people won’t even laugh at.
It’s also worth mentioning Robert Downey, Jr.’s Sherlock Holmes, who is 90% a comic character with 10% serious thrown in. Jude Law’s comic dialogues with Downey in these films are often hilarious.
Dale
“The saddest thing I can imagine is to get used to luxury.” – Charlie Chaplin
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Hi Dale,
Thanks so much for your thought provoking post!!
My auld papa loved Chaplin (Hated Tommy Cooper – Yep that is an aside! He also love ‘Liquorice Allsorts’ and ‘Bell’s Whisky’…Another aside. I just like thinking on him now and again!!)
Me, I liked Harold Lloyd. I used to watch him before I was getting cleaned up before I went out of a Friday hoping that it was the mating season…Expectations were high and delusional!!!!!!!!!!!
I actually wrote about Chaplin in a story called ‘Nature And Nurture – The Devil’s Mix’ Not a prompt!!! I just wanted to mention that, when I wrote it, the details fell into place more than I could have ever imagined!!!
Belushi in ‘Animal House’ was immense…’They took the bar…The whole fucking bar!!’ Could not be said without the timing or the passion of the man!!!
You mentioned Anthony Perkins. He was in another favourite film of mine called ‘Crimes Of Passion’ (Kathleen Turner as sexy as you will ever see!!!) If you have never seen the film check it out. It’s worth it for ‘THE OLD H.P!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
Not only that, I hate most Pog-Rock) but Rik Wakeman’s sound track is something special!
Ahhhh, Mr Downey! the best one ever and I mean ever one liner!!! ‘I can’t drink alcohol – It breaks me out in handcuffs!’
Thanks as always my fine friend – You make me think!
Hugh
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Dear Hugh
I read your story about Chaplin and Hitler.
As usual in your works, GREAT dialogue! Also great humor, great suspenseful tension, great reversals, and great reinvention of an eternal theme.
Bravo!
Dale
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Thanks for another great video clip, Hugh.
Like David H, I’d completely forgotten Cat Balou. Good to see Still Crazy in your film list. Afraid I’ve never seen several of your comic films to judge, but here are a few that I’m fond of:
Buster Keaton’s The General, Mel Brooks’ The Producers, Plaza Suite (but only the wedding episode), Galaxy Quest & Paul.
Good to know that LS is flourishing, Mick
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Hi Mick,
Cat Balou (I think I spelled it wrong in the posting) is heaven in film form. The ‘I’ll drink to that’ scene’ is hysterical!!!
And okay, this might be sexist but Jane Fonda was stunning!!!!
I need to mention ‘The Producers’ (Not the remake – That was shite!!) as you prompted. Now I think on it (??) it was the same guy that played the play-write of ‘Springtime For Hitler’ that played Inspector Kemp in ‘Young Frankenstein’
You mentioned a black and white film… Which made me think on the film about Laurel and Hardy with Steve Coogan and John C Reilly is superb!!
Thanks so much my fine friend.
Hugh
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Good one. I’m with Leila’s adverbally adverbiness. I look at critiques with adverbs and / or exposition as lit prof critiques and ignore them particularly when there is NOTHING SAID ABOUT THE ACTUAL STORY. It’s been so long since I’ve subbed to LS, I can’t remember if I’m a disturbed failed writer or not. I’m unarmed, don’t worry.
Run hot and cold on Carrey. Good list, but not great without Ghostbusters.
You are fortunate that I have no memory so I can’t go on for pages.
Mr. Mirth
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Hi Doug,
My problem with adverbs is simple – they state the obvious.
‘He whispered quietly’ (How else can you whisper??)
‘He shouted loudly.’ (How else can you shout??)
‘She said nothing wordlessly.’ (Does the first three words not tell you that?)
‘He killed him violently.’ (Can you kill someone with marshmallows?)
They aren’t needed, they only add to a word count. But to be fair, I, as a reader hate excessive description. I reckon it comes down to my way of learning. We are three types of learner…Visual, audible and kisentics. I am audible, you tell me there is a forest, I’m fine with that. All the Tolkien fans were happy to read thirty pages of description. I was bored.
I agree with you regarding Carey. I still need to watch ‘Man On The Moon’ though.
And Ghostbusters was close but the ending killed it for me. Murray was exceptional!!!!!
And Doug – You ain’t no failed writer!!! Don’t sell yourself short!! You are interesting, clever, perceptive and cutting!!!!
‘My life is just an empty stage where Honey danced and Honey played!’
Shit line as an ending…But I quite like it!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hugh
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He walked rapidly. Without rapidly he could have walked slowly. Rapidly is not redundant.
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But there are so many other ways to say that. Scurried, rushed, hurried, dashed, strode (I like strode it has strength and speed) All a matter of opinion but adding an adverb but adds an adverb and there is so much else one can do.
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I’ll try this again for Diane and Hugh. None of her alternatives are the same as what I wrote. Walking rapidly is not the same as examples given. I have no understanding or sympathy with the banning of adverbs. The people who make up languages saw a place for them and I’m in agreement with that.
Exposition is an economical way to explain things, but I can see why it may not be needed in a graphic story. People have not thrown out the Bible because of all of the exposition.
“A volcano errupted 50 miles away”. Why is it better if “Joe said a volcano errupted 50 miles away”.
Not necessarily a good example, but millions read Stephen King and his books have lots of exposition, as are books by other popular writers. Readers don’t dislike adverbs, just critics.
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I like bustling. Bustlingly bustling to the volcano that blew fifty miles away. Rapidly bustling toward it. Beetling toward it if buggish, scuttling toward if crabby.
Whoever made the rules knew they were to be broken.
Leila
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Hi Doug,
Fair point but I would be annoyed at ‘He quickly walked rapidly.’
Hugh
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Hi Hugh
Too bad about Richard Chamberlain! I liked him in “Shogun” and “The Thorn-birds.” He was the king of the 1980s TV mini-series.
Slapshot” with Paul Newman was a great hockey movie. Special shout-out to “The Goons” those three brothers were great in it!
Thanks
Christopher
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Hi Christopher,
I loved the scene where Paul Newman asked them what they were doing and they said, ‘Foiling up coach!!’
Thanks as always for the read and the comment.
All the very best to you and yours.
Hug
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Thank you Leila. It’s good to have support for all of those language developers who thought that adverbs would be helpful, and there is other kinds of writing beyond dialogue.
Keep on adverbing adverbally. PNW rules.
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I think the adverb point, and in my opinion Hugh was very clear. It’s not adverbs per se. Of course there is a place for them. It’s unnecessary and overused adverbs that wrankle. As Hugh says, whispering quietly, How else would you whisper. But in my defence I do think ‘walking quickly, is weak compared to so many other verbs which indicate a rapid gait. I bet Daisy hustles bustlingly with a bustling bustle !
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Cheers Dale,
Thanks for the read and kind comments on ‘Nature And Nurture…’ As I said a lot of the specifics were a happy coincidence!!
I enjoyed writing that, simply because it made me think and be aware of detail.
Normally, I just go off the cuff!!
Thanks again my fine friend.
Hugh
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Walking is a specific gait not synonomous with running, scampering, skipping or anything else. Walking quickly is a particular speed during a specific gait. There are all of the readers who are not literature professionals who would quit reading at the outrage of “walking quickly”, I’ll give you that.
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Great week and great post. I’ll add the following few to the best film comedies for me:
Life of Brian
Kung Fu Hustle
Man Bites Dog (only just a comedy I think)
Ferris Bueller’s Day Off (also only just)
Porkys
Airplane
Annie Hall
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Hi Paul,
Thanks as always.
Porky’s was excellent. Life Of Brian and Airplane are two that I seek out every now and again.
Can’t really think of a recent comedy that I found funny. With those mentioned, no matter how many times I see them, they still make me laugh!!
Thanks again my fine friend, hope you are happy and healthy!
Hugh
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