Sunday Whoever – James Hanna

James has been a valued friend of LS for a long time. His first story The Sicilian published in 2016. He is really great to have around and the responses to our, sometimes silly, questions reflect what a genuinely nice person he is. As an added bonus we have a tiny glimpse into the interesting life he has had. Here we give you Mr James Hanna:

Could you write a story with purple or lilac as the main story line?
Yes, but I think The Color Purple has beaten me to it.

Could you write a story with bubble baths as the main story line?
I’ll have to think about that one. It sounds a bit ticklish.

Best decade for music.
Obviously the sixties. It had the The Beatles, The Band, The Byrds, Pink Floyd, and
dozens of other great groups. But try to tell that to kids today.

Best decade for films.
I’d go with the sixties. My favorite movies are Doctor Zhivago, Bonnie and Clyde, 2001 Space Odessey, and Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid. All of them came out of the sixties. They just don’t make ‘em like that anymore.

What is the point of a point?
One upmanship.

The Exorcist. Hilarious or scary?
I think it’s a little too slapstick to be scary. I guess that makes it funny. For a truly scary movie, I’d recommend The Shining. It’s far more subtle than The Exorcist, and its subtlety makes it far creepier.

Would you ever try a cheese and jam sandwich?
Sure. It sounds mighty tasty. But keep the cheese plain—no limburger.

Red or white?
A red ball with a white background—like the Japanese flag. Our American flag is way too busy.

What does a bird in the hand really do?
I answered that in my short story “Fact Check.” The bird in the hand squawked “Fact
Check!” whenever things looked untenable. Too bad a bunch of populists ate him.

Best song you have heard from 1986?
“In Your Eyes” by Peter Gabriel. A marathon number with many elements. None of the other songs of that year even come close.

Greatest 1970 movie?
The Molly McGuires. Great performances by Richard Harris and Sean Connery. Also,
some striking ironies.

Trump. What does that mean?
How easily people can be conned into voting against their own best interests. But Trump is looking shopworn now and, thankfully, his day is about done. Look up “Rage against the dying light,” and you will see a picture of Trump shaking his fist.

What topics do you not take on?
I’ll take on anything. In the California Writers’ Club, to which I still belong, I’m known as the Rogue Writer.

What, in your opinion, is the best line you’ve ever written?
“A girl has gotta be careful about who she lets save her soul.” That’s from Lights Out
Lizzie, my latest book.

Would you write what you consider shit for money?
No way. Writing is sacred to me. Only write shit if you are positive you can write nothing else. And be prepared to use the same plot over and over again. Ironically, many successful” writers trap themselves by limiting the public’s expectations of them.

Would you ever go Woke with and use pronouns/nondescript characters and explore
sensitive issues in an understanding and sensitive way?
I don’t recommend watering down characters. Voice, to me, is the most important
element of writing. Exploring sensitive issues is okay, but don’t get too preachy about it.

Type something surprising?
I already do that. That’s why they call me the Rogue Writer.

Do you see something different in the mirror that others don’t when they look at you?
That depends on whether the mirror is cracked.

The future? Bleak or hopeful?
Some of both, I suppose. I think the question is “What is progress.”

What would you like to like as you hate to hate it?
The power of veto.

Records? Tapes? Or CDs?
Records. There’s no point in improving on what doesn’t need improvement.

What genre you don’t write in would you like to try?
Epic poetry in the tradition of Homer, Chaucer, and Milton. I’m currently working on a
poem of 15,000 words in anapestic pentameter. I guess that makes me a renaissance man.

What percentage of their time do dogs spend thinking about food?
Thirty-seven percent. The rest of the time, they’re dreaming about it.

Who was your English teacher and did he know about your writing ambitions?
My favorite English teacher was Captain Hayes. He taught English at a military school to which I was shipped off at the age of seventeen because I “needed discipline.” Captain Hayes was the most inspiring teacher I ever had, and he gave me a well-needed break from the endless cosmetic soldiering I had to put up with. He must have known about my writing ambitions because he read some of my stuff to the class.

How long after you left school before you wrote anything aimed at publication?
When I was twenty-one, I caught a tramp freighter to Australia and spent seven years roaming the continent. While in Australia, I rented a bungalow in northern Tasmania and wrote with the hope of getting published. Not until twenty years later did I get anything published.

If you have an idea for a story in the middle of a supermarket, what action do you
take?
I file it away in my mind until I’m ready to develop it. If the idea is good, it will grow over time. No need to dash home and write it down.

Do you find ideas come randomly to you or only when you sit down to write?
Both. Sometimes your muse doesn’t sing when you sit down to write, but after you
leave your desk, your subconscious tends to sort things out. It becomes easier next
time.

Have you ever been to a writing retreat and if so how was it?
I’ve never had the experience. My desk and my writing group are enough for me. If I went to a writing retreat, I’d probably get distracted by all the lakes and hiking trails.

What is the worst film version of a book that you have ever seen?
Maybe Breakfast at Tiffany’s. Great performances, but they sure Hollywoodized the
ending.

What invention has been the downfall of the 20/21 Century?
I don’t think any invention has ever been the downfall of anything. To claim something addiction to drama.

How do you get kids to read?
Read to them. I remember a teacher reading Huckleberry Finn and White Fang to the
class when I was ten. Those books took deep root in me and spurred my love of books.

If you had no bottle opener, how would you open a beer?
I’d trade the bottles for pull-top cans.

What topics would you not take on?
I’m game for about anything. In my book, The Ping-Pong Champion of Chinatown, a girl from backwoods Kentucky goes to Hollywood to become a movie star and ends up starring on a foot fetish site. I think that shows that not much is off limits to me.

How many friends and family ask you how your writing is going?
Aside from my critique group, hardly any. If you gave your Aunt Tilley a copy of a book
you just wrote, she would probably exclaim, “How nice! We have an author in the
family!” And then she would most likely put down your book and talk about something else. Sadly, your validation as an author will not come from friends and family. It will come from strangers with inquiring minds.

Do you regret having a certain item published?
No. You cannot write and publish with regret. That might result in self-censorship. Leave the criticism to others—there will be plenty of applicants for the job.

Has anything you’ve written told you something about yourself that you did not know
(good or bad)?
A few feminists took a dim view of my book Call Me Pomeroy. Turns out I was a
chauvinist pig and didn’t even know it.

Do you have a work that has been repeatedly rejected that still means a lot to you?
Yeah. But when that happens, I include the work in an anthology. That’s the advantage of having a publisher.

What is your motto?
Writers don’t need mottos. They write compulsively because they are dedicated to the craft. Also, mottos can be restrictive. A fellow in my high school yearbook said under his picture, “Climb not too high lest the fall be too great.” I think that guy is now an assistant manager at McDonald’s.

What is the thing that you generally don’t give a fuck about?
I’m not much into intolerance. If something is unimportant to me, I’d rather dismiss it
without hyperbole. That way it has less of a hold on me.

What is the weirdest thing that you enjoy?
Anything you normalize is no longer weird to you. Nonetheless, I’d go with pickleball. It was named after some dog named Pickles who kept running off with the ball.

What song are you embarrassed to like?
“My Boy Lollipop” by Millie Small.

Green or black olives?
Black. You may as well eat ‘em ripe.

Name a book that most rave about that you hate.
I don’t hate any books. They are too great a challenge to write, so I respect the author’s efforts. That being said, I’m not too keen on Nicholas Sparks’ books. They’re a bit too saccharine and market-oriented for me.

Who was the least interesting Beatle?
Maybe Ringo, yet Ringo is very amusing. That speaks volumes for Paul, John and
George—geniuses all.

Name a story that you read on this site that you wish you had written.
Dave Louden’s “Ultra Belfast.” It mellows your perception of the afterlife, which has
been dominated for too long by church fundamentalists. It’s time we stopped giving hell a bad name.

What can you never have enough of?
Moderation.

What food or drink makes you grue?
Polliwog pudding.

Why do we eat a bull and not a panda?
Because we don’t want to piss off China.

Families. A blessing or a curse.
I think there are two types of families: those we choose (circles of friends) and those we are born into. Those we choose are always a blessing. Those we are born into may be a mixed bag.

Sugar or salt.
Sugar.

Most overrated writer ever.
Writing is not a competitive sport, so I wouldn’t call any writer overrated. If writers have followers, they are valuable in someone’s eyes. In the words of Friar Lawrence (Romeo and Juliet), “For naught so vile that on the earth doth live but to the earth some special good doth give.”

Would the slaughter of the British royal family generate more or less income?
I don’t know, but I wouldn’t go around slaughtering them. Most of them serve with such dedication that they don’t deserve the guillotine.