Week 476: Xtra, Xtra Read All About It; Five, Make That Six Good Reads; Inked Jocularity

Kindle is one of the greatest inventions since the pop-top beer can. Anyone who has had to pack and move hundreds of books from one place to another should be grateful for it. I look at my tablet, amazed that I have thousands upon thousands of pages stored in it; enough volumes to make my place look like that of a hoarder. I now own maybe three hundred paper books–down from the high of about fifteen hundred I had on hand in the 90’s.

But there is one item that I cannot get into reading electronically–just one–the newspaper. That is because I grew up with it and would always wait until my grandfather finished the thing so I could read the comics. As I grew older I found myself reading the entire thing and had acquired a morbid fascination with the obituaries, as well as the Code 911 section that listed crimes and the persons arrested for such.

All that is available online, of course, but unlike my seamless transfer to Kindle I cannot get into electronic media. Mainly it is due to the popup ads for jellies and the constant onslaught of celebrity fools. The newspaper is still available, at least for now–but they are anorexic and are as poorly written as an old fashioned scandal sheet.

Still, what I miss most is the relationship I had with comic strips. I divided them into two categories: The Classics, which have been around forever–Blondie, Beetle Bailey and so forth. And then there were my favorites of the 80’s: The Far Side; Bloom County and Calvin and Hobbes. Later came Dilbert–which for me was the last of the great comics. (Actually, there is a third section composed of the “Realistic” ones–Brenda Starr, Mary Worth, Apartment 3-G–but I never read those.)

The classics were (and remain) corny as hell. And yet I was hooked into the real time Gasoline Alley universe, which ran along with the years for nearly a century–until people could no longer support the fantasy of “Uncle Walt” still hanging around at a hundred and thirty years of age.

When I began reading them in the early sixties, the real old timers were still hanging in there–such as Our Boarding House and the extremely weird kid, Henry. This long term exposure to something every day for decades can have an odd effect on the psyche. Hi and Lois has never been considered an especially high profile work of art, but if it were suddenly yanked from a paper after sixty years, people would want the Editor’s head on a stick until the situation was remedied.

For some of us, I think, we associate seventy years’ of Peanuts with immortality. Save for Gasoline Alley and For Better or Worse, no one changes in comic strips. The kids in the Family Circus are just as annoying today as they were in 1965 and the disturbingly inbred faces in Snuffy Smith remain as changeless as the constellation Orion–more so, for the stars are constantly moving and will make different shapes by and by. I believe that there is this irrational section in the brain that believes a daily dose of the constant Wizard of Id will allow it to live forever and be around to see what’s next for Orion.

There have been some attempts to modernize strips that were opened decades ago–Blondie Bumstead runs her own catering business even though she still dresses like a flapper. And Lois from Hi and Lois sells real estate. But really, nothing ever changes in Comic Land, which is an odd comfort.

Nowadays, I find myself looking at my old favorites from the 80’s online and find myself relieved that they still amuse me as much as they did in 1986. And looking back at, say, Hagar the Horrible provokes nostalgia–and makes me fondly recall the years when there were mustard stains on the Sunday “funnies” when they finally moved down the food chain to where I was.

Yet another of the good things you can see in the electronic medium are our stories. You don’t need to wait for the mail or run out for the paper to get us. Of course you do need a device and internet, which can get expensive, but that’s life in the Borg cube.

This week featured one of those mindless coincidences I am so attracted to and must share. All four stories by our first time contributors this week have one word titles. Okay, so it doesn’t rate with the Moon and Sun being the same size in the sky, but it is a coincidence nonetheless.

But first I want to make a special mention of the feature that ran last Sunday. I encourage anyone who has yet to read Horton Hears You by another newcomer, Rosemary Grant, to do so. It is more than worth the minute or two it takes to read it.

Brooklyn Peters opened the shop on Monday with Friendship. This story is lovingly described and intricately laid out. Although I know nothing about it, I imagine there were lots of drafts of the piece, which gives it the effortless quality that only hard work (or born genius) can give to a piece.

Amy Tryphena debuted with Threshold. Amy already has her second scheduled and this one easily shows her abundance of talent. I found myself lost and headed toward the fair as well as the MC, never realizing it was a trick. That was especially keenly done.

Initiation by Fiver Lewis is a rule breaker, a story scofflaw that I always have affection for. It runs like an adult parable and allows you to decide the fate of all at the end. Many writers attempt this breezy style and fall flat–not so here. Bossy Barnyarders beware.

Rania Hella made a welcomed fourth appearance with When Pain Grew a Beard. Rania writes memorable and restrained prose of high quality, and this latest, the personification of Pain, is a perfect example of the author’s work.

Lisa Lahey closed this week’s show with Fractured. This is one of those literary doors that swing open and let endless possibilities enter what are assumedly closed circuits. It would be a hell of a thing to wake into the MC’s predicament, and Lisa went after the topic with confidence.

Let’s have a hand for our six writers. Maybe if we are nice enough, Rosemary, Brooklyn, Fiver and Lisa will join Rania and soon to be Amy as multiple contributors.

Primary Colored Finish

Naturally, due to today’s theme, I will close with my two lists of comics–my favorites and those I irrationally need to remain in print so the same can be said for me. As always, contributions to the lists are welcomed and encouraged.

Favorites

• The Far Side-Gary Larson
• Calvin and Hobbes-Bill Watterson
• Dilbert-Scott Adams
• Bloom County-Berkeley Breathed
• Zippy the Pinhead-Bill Griffith
• Monty-Jim Meddick
• Non Sequitur-Wiley
• The Born Loser-Art and Chip Sansom
• Tumbleweeds- Tom K. Ryan
• Our Boarding House-Gene Ahern

Those Needed to Secure a Place in the Universe

Original artists/creators

• Peanuts-Schulz
• Blondie-Chic Young
• Garfield (also to his cousin Heathcliff”)-Jim Davis
• Beetle Bailey-Mort Walker
• Gasoline Alley-Frank King
• BC-Johnny Hart
• Andy Capp (a nod to Beau Peep as well)-Reg Smythe
• Wizard of Id-Parker and Hart
• Hagar the Horrible-Dik Browne
• Hi and Lois-Mort Walker and Dik Browne

Leila