The Assistant by Doug Hawley

When Sally saw the ad in the free newspaper “Your Town” she knew that she had to check it out.  “All around assistant, cook, accountant, teacher of tech.  Low pay, but free room and board.”  She was currently barely able to get by as a production assistant on a local television station.  Without a small bequest from her late aunt, she couldn’t afford food and rent.  The parents lived in Spain and she hadn’t seen them for ten years.  Her financial situation made her feel like a child even though she was thirty-three.  The Lakeside address was pretty ritzy, which was another plus.

She called the number and reached a man named Duke Hanley, who asked her qualifications.  She told him of her experience with computers and websites.  He asked her what she cooked, and she told him she liked American comfort food, Chinese, and Costa Rican from the years that she had lived there.

Duke said “Good, good.  Can you come over around seven tonight?”

“Right, I’ll see you there.”

Sally was welcomed by an athletic looking man about fifty and a little over six feet tall.  He asked her “What do you want first?  Trade backgrounds; look around the house, or more job details.”

Sally quickly said “I like the house from the outside.  The truth is the best part of the ad was room and board with the high cost of any kind of housing.  Show me around.”

Duke responded “You can see that it’s one level.  Ok, follow me.  My room is nothing complicated – bed, closet, TV.  Yours is about the same.  It has room for a desk if you want one.  We can talk about that later.  Oh yeah, the obvious.  Both have private bathrooms.  If you want to entertain, fine with me.  You came through the living room to get this far.  Moving on – gym with some weights, bands, a mini-trampoline, a few machines.  The kitchen and dining room would be your domain.  My wife had it furnished, and I can’t cook beyond hotdogs and peanut butter sandwiches.  How does it and the rest look to you?”

Compared to the cramped apartment where she was staying, it was fine, and she said as much.

“If the house meets your approval, how about swapping backstories?”

Sally was a little puzzled about ‘backstories’ but understood from context.  “Native Portlander, just out of a long term relationship.  I just found out it was an open relationship, not what I had in mind.  As a TV producer, I do a little of everything behind the cameras that makes the shows work.  I like classical music, my cooking, a little travel when I can find the time and money.  I hike and ski.  Thirty-three years old.  Parents moved to Europe for the weather.”

His turn.  “Most important thing – wife of many years died with covid.  I say with, because she was diabetic and particularly susceptible.  Kids live with their own families on the East coast.  When my wife was alive, she did the cooking, and took care of finances, and knew a lot more about computing than I did.  I’m sixty seven, on social security, got my IRA, and Medicare.  My family passed on several car dealerships to me in which I had no interest, but made me a pile of money anyhow.”

Sally thought “67”?

An orange cat wandered in and rubbed against Sally’s legs.  “That’s Pumpkin, an excellent judge of character.”

Duke asked “Where do we go from here?”

“Tell me more about what I do.”

“I’m hoping that you wouldn’t be needed more than four hours a day.  If we do this, one of your first projects would be to see what paperwork we’d need for all the crap the government requires.  I think that $20 an hour is a little over minimum wage, and you get room, and whatever you cook.  Most of your time would be free obviously.  If we are happy in the arrangement, I imagine the pay would increase.  Beyond what I’ve said about your duties, what I want is you doing what I don’t want to do – answer the phone while you’re around, and what I can’t do at all or well – cook.”

“Duke, it sounds good, but I’d still need to cover health, car, and other expenses.  Let me run the numbers.”

Duke was impressed by her sensibility. “Based on what I know now, I think you are the best candidate, but I understand your concerns.  If you can get back to me in a couple of weeks, I won’t give the job to anyone else first.”

Three days later Sally called “It’s close, but I’ll take the job based on your house compared to my crappy apartment.”

“Well, if it’s close, make it thirty dollars an hour, and start the paperwork.  I hope that your current job involved playing with government paperwork.”

“It did, don’t be surprised about what the final pay per hour is – unemployment insurance, social security, air tax, occupancy tax on and on add up.”

“I hope it won’t double the $30.”

“Not quite.”

They quickly grew comfortable around each other.  Sally always billed four hours each weekday, but spent nine hours when she had to bail Duke out of a mistake he made with his computer.  For five of those hours he continued to yell and swear.  It reminded Sally of her overly dramatic, easily disturbed brother.  He might wear shorts around the house; she’d wear a halter and shorts.  They told each other stories inappropriate for repetition including tales of sex which were anatomically unlikely.  Other days, they would just wander in the neighborhood woods.

It helped that they never talked politics.

Duke wrote as a hobby.  He claimed to be $50 from being a true amateur.  Sally kept the books and did the taxes, so she knew the number was a little higher.  After a month of the expected cooking and house cleaning, she started to edit his writing.  She didn’t let him have one of his female characters call her boyfriend “honey bunny”, but did like it when an older couple said goodnight with “Sweet dreams moonbeams” and “Sleep tight starlight”.

Somehow Duke was able to feel both fatherly and aroused by Sally.  For a while the fatherly part won.  “Hey Sally, you aren’t going to do this forever.  I could fund some college classes if it would help you in your next career.”

“I appreciate that, but after editing your work, I’ve got an idea for which I had on the job training.  As a television producer, I had to edit a lot of scripts, like I’m doing for you now.  I think that I’d like to write scripts for television.  I don’t expect to get any work immediately, but I might eventually be a freelancer.”

“Thanks for saving me thousands.  Do I get intention points?”

Intention points are what they called credit for being willing to do something without being called on to perform.  Proximity had given them a joint vocabulary of their own.

“You bet Duke.”

After a couple of months on the job, the neighbors began to wonder if Duke had a young wife or girlfriend because when seen outside of the house they always seemed so happy together.

One night Duke slipped up and yelled from his shower as he frequently did when he was married “Hey I forgot my towel.  Could you get it honey bunny?”

Sally only hesitated a little before she brought the towel.  Duke realized what he had done “Oh crap, I’m so sorry.”

Sally had wondered if anything like this would happen and decided she wasn’t sorry.  “Now that I’m here, give up your pathetic attempts to cover up your equipment.  It’s been a long dry spell for me and I like what I see.  Mind if I do your back?”

“OK, but I hope you don’t think I’m easy.”

Sally dropped her clothes.  She ended up doing his front and back.  After the shower she said “Just in case it comes up and it did so to speak, I’m on birth control.”

They slept in his king sized bed that night and many thereafter.  Duke couldn’t perform every night, but it was good for both of them with or without sex.

Sally continued to date, but nothing developed.  She would bring some of them home to get Duke’s opinions, which were frequently funny.  “Looks like a car salesman, and I should know.  Kick him to the curb.”

Six months into Sally’s employment, Sally told Duke “Joy from my old job says she’s got a real winner for me.  Let’s hope it’s not flat out bull this time.”

Duke was going to say “Oh, my little girl might have a serious fellow”, but rethought it before he spoke.

She did get a serious fellow.  Brian Samson made her laugh, a quality she had not seen in her men other than Duke.  He was a couple of years younger than her, but had gone through so much in life he seemed older.  As an orphan he survived multiple unpleasant foster homes.  The serious girlfriend that died in a car accident, the one that decided she preferred his younger brother.  Post grad work in Switzerland where he got his Ph.D. in math.  He taught at college while working on better batteries for private industry.

She needed a bit more and got it.  He let her know that she was the one right away.  Proposed after a week and said “Let’s not waste any more time.”  What could go wrong?  He had a confession.  It was a serious problem, but she had a solution.  They planned to get married in five months.

Sally insisted she would keep up the love triangle until they were married.  She pointed that it was only fair for a woman to have a “harem”, and they had so much to gain.  Duke was willing to step aside, and Brian was not happy but was willing knowing in the long run, he was the one.  Sally helped by pointing out that Duke had been the man that showed her that she could respect men again and let down her defenses.  Without that she might have never met Brian.

Six months after they met Brian and Sally had a small wedding.  Duke and Sally slept together the night before for the first time in a month.  Nobody from Sally’s side of the family was there and Duke walked Sally down the aisle.

Almost to the day, Sally had Sherry Walker Samson nine months after getting married.  Walker was Duke’s middle name.

Duke visited the new family regularly for a year after Sherry’s birth, but then had a fatal stroke.

Brian asked Sally “Do you suppose he knew?”

“I think he did.  He was a very bright man, and Sherry’s coloring and general looks favored him.”

“I appreciate what you did when you found out I couldn’t be a father.”

“Brian, you should know that I loved Duke in a different way from the way I love you.  Sex with Duke was no sacrifice.  It started before I met you.”

“OK, I know, don’t give me a blow by blow.”

“You should think before you speak.”

After a beat Brian got it, and they both laughed.

Duke’s lawyer contacted Brian and Sally and invited them to the reading of Duke’s will.  To their surprise, after hearing the majority of his assets went to his children, they got $100,000 for the benefit of Sherry Walker Samson and his house.  Brian had felt cramped in what had been his bachelor pad before they married.  They spent some of the $100,000 decorating Sally’s old room for Sherry and moved into what had been Duke’s room in his house where they created many happy memories.

A year later Brian had been promoted, Sally was getting a few offers for screenplays that she had written, and Sherry was a healthy spirited toddler.  Brian asked Sally, “Should we tell Sherry and Duke’s children about her parents?”

“I’ve read about approaching this.  I think we should wait until Sherry is about five, then maybe she will be old enough to understand.  We owe it to Duke’s children to let them know that they have a step sister.”

THE END of this story, but not the end of the Hanley and Samson adventures, particularly of Sherry whose writing made her a famous best seller.  Duke would have been proud that she took over where he left off.

Doug Hawley

Image: Pixabay.com – keyboard with a young woman’s hands typing.