Bonus by Hugh Cron (Warning – Adult Content.)

Jimmy shut his curtains.

“That’s the Polis. Bitch must’ve got mail.”

“Whit?”

“Think about it Al, the only way that staff come near the rooms at this time is if they’re handing out our letters!

…I bet you it was shite too! They fuckin’ found her cause of some shite letter.”

Alan took a swig out of the Vodka bottle, “We should’ve said something.”

He handed it over.

“Fuck that. That’s two in two weeks. We need to have a word with that cunt – Fuck knows what he’s selling us.”

“We’re fucked, Plod bastards will be round all the doors.”

Jimmy sat on his bed.

“Fuck it, we’ll be fine. Let’s head out. You’ve to sign on and I’ve got my script to get.”

“Really, fucking really! You want to walk by all those uniforms​?”

“Whit would we’ve done if we knew fuck aw?”

Alan thought for a second, “Aye but we do know!”

“C’moan.”

“Jimmy, there are cameras, we will have be seen goin’ in.”

“So what, who disnae go into her room. She’ll fuck anyone for a tenner, I’ve fucked her a few times myself when we were at the school…Never had to pay her mind!”

“Are you bragging?”

“Not sure?? But I ken you’ve been there!”

“It was just after I was put in here, I felt sorry for her.”

“Whit?”

“She was talking about that CoCo bastard and said how he was her Mr Darcy…Mr fucking Darcy!”

“CoCo – That fuckin’ rapist cunt…That ‘Oh she passed CoCo’s test’ deviant?”

“Aye, I know, that meant he had fucking raped again, but he hadn’t with her. Maybe that’s why she thought he was her Mr Darcy…Me I reckon it was cause he is in remand.”

“Let me get this clear, you fucked her cause she hadn’t been raped – That’s fucking sick!!”

Alan pushed him and took the bottle off of him, “Naw! She was all begreten like and told me how much she needed a hit and that she would be happy to pay for it with some comfort. I had a few bags on me and what the fuck, I was a bit horny, so I fucked her.”

“Before or after the hit?”

“Before – She was a bit more enthusiastic..”

“Enthusiastic, is that the new word for rattlin’ and desperate. I bet she screamed her head off and said that you were the best ever.”

“As a matter of fact, she did.”

Jimmy studied him, “You stupid cunt, how many bags did you give her?”

“That’s no the point.”

“How fucking many?”

“…Three.”

“You fucking idiot. Best ever, I bet you never even touched the sides and I also bet that she stank!”

“She was fine when I turned her over.”

Jimmy’s eyes widened, “I’m not even going to ask where.”

“It was a long time ago, she wasn’t as fucking rancid.”

Alan put his ear against the door, “Fuck!! The doors are being chapped, it’s the fucking Polis!”

“Keep fucking calm and follow my lead, we need to go now!”

“They won’t let us.”

“Trust me, it’ll be fine.”

Jimmy opened the door and nodded for Alan to follow him.

“A word gents!”

“Officer Harris, how are you? I thought you worked The High Street for the lifters?”

“Fuck sake, I didn’t realise that was you Jimmy, you look like shite. Aye, I do but have been pulled for this.”

“Right, whit’s been happening? Sorry I’m rattlin a wee bit, that’s why were heading out, well for me anyway, Alan needs to be at the DWP in half an hour…So what’s up?”

“Where have you been?”

“In here, Alan’s room, just chilling, having a few voddies, just to take the edge off. Please don’t tell the staff that you found me in here, it’s no allowed.”

“Alan, what’s your second name son?”

“Cummings”

“Did either of you see Elaine today?”

Jimmy shrugged, “Aye, I think so, when we went down for breakfast she was there, we went into her room to get a DVD, I can show you it if you want.”

“What time and how did she look?”

“Usual. A wee bit out of it, time wise, probably a couple of hours back, we watched it. How?”

“You mean the hostel grapevine hasn’t kicked in yet?”

“No for us, as I said, we’ve been having a few drinks – Aw fuck, she isnae?”

The man nodded, “I can’t tell you anything official”

“Aw fuck! That’s a shame officer, she was an inoffensive soul.”

“Do you know her parents?”

“I spoke to her old dad every now and again, he was a nice cunt.”

“Are either of you two moving on from here anytime soon?”

Alan shrugged and Jimmy said, “Not that we know but if we do, just go through the local authority and you’ll find us. How?…Do you need to find us?”

“UNOFICIALLY – I doubt it. CID has already been in and it looks like just another dead junky. I’m sure the PF will be happy to sign it off that way.”

Jimmy nodded, “If we can do anything, you know where to find us.”

“Where did she get her smack?”

“Aw fuck officer, you know that we cannae say that but you know who!”

Harris nodded, “Fair enough…Right guys, you better get to your DWP appointment Alan or they’ll be sanctioning you.”

Alan smiled, “Thanks officer.”

The two of them left the building as the hearse pulled up.

Alan sped up until he was around the first corner.

…Harris walked into the office and gestured for the CID Sergeant to come through into the hall.

“What is it?”

“You know that fucking toe-rag Jimmy Cosgrove?”

“Aye, the cunt wae the fucked arm.”

“He’s got something to do with this, I spoke to him and he is as twitchy as fuck. More or less told me it is that Jamsie MacDonald bastard who is supplying.”

“We all know that! That cunt’s on my list – I’ll have that bastard before the New Year. With this cow, I don’t give a fuck. If the PF throws this back at us, we’ll have another look.”

Harris laughed, “I knew you’d say that but I thought I’d better let you know, since you are getting the big bucks!”

“Fuck off – We’ll pass on what we’ve got and see what happens.”

…“Jimmy, the fucking kit! We took the fucking kit! How the fuck could she have OD’d herself with no fucking kit?”

Jimmy thought for a second, “…We’re fine Al, they huvnae a clue! As long as they find a needle or something in there, that’ll dae them.

…Unless your fucking kid is in her!!!”

“What?”

Jimmy laughed, “Look at your face!!”

“Fuck you! That was too long ago, it wid have fuckin’ fell oot by now!!”

Jimmy put his arm around Alan’s shoulders, “True, very true!! Fuck me! Even if she wis pregnant by the real Mr Darcy they’ll still no think too much about it. You heard the Polisman, ‘Just another deid junky’ and if there is a kid not here they’ll take that as a bonus!”

Hugh Cron.