Week 177 – Time, Jimmy Hoffa And A Cure For Tarzan’s Constipation

Week 176 has come and gone and here we are at week 177.

I’ve been working on a story this week. I’ve enjoyed thinking about it, structuring and editing and trying to spot the inevitable mistakes that are invisible to me but obvious to Nik and Diane! I’ve spent quite a bit of time and that doesn’t bother me. It’s a lot of fun.

Enjoying time is relative. I can spend hours cooking, reading, working on this site, listening to music and appreciating alcohol. Time doesn’t matter when you are doing what you enjoy. But working, getting a haircut, travelling to work, watching TV all does my head in. I resent the time that I spend. But the worst ever is gardening. Sorry folks, but those of you who enjoy this activity are masochistic perverts. To be fair, I have let my garden become fairly manic this year and yesterday was its first cut. I’m hoping for a drought from now to September, then the frost to hit. One cut a year is more than enough.

I had to borrow Death’s scythe due to the length of the grass

I have solved a couple of mysteries though, I found Jimmy Hoffa and Lord Lucan. Believe it or not they were still alive but as I said, I was using Death’s scythe.

I also stood in a Big Foot shit and it was ironic as my cry of woe sounded like a constipated Tarzan.

I don’t think my neighbours know my name as they were referring to me as ‘The prick with the jungle’ So from now on they can refer to me as ‘The prick with shit on his shoe.’

The time spent on any story varies. But what I wonder about is, does it always help? I think the quality of the writing will always benefit from time spent but sometimes if you spend too much time on content it can tell you something. Maybe your plot is too complicated or you are over-writing or over-explaining.

We are sometimes asked for feedback. Any issues are normally obvious and between us we can come up with a well thought out response. I believe that the reason that the writer doesn’t see these issues is simply that the story is so clear in their head and they are not conveying their story clearly to someone who doesn’t have it clear in their head. (If we were commenting on that sentence we would clearly state the overuse of ‘clear’)

We always finish off by saying that if we spot an issue, other readers would probably do too.

Now what I am coming to, is all that is easy enough done as once you have read, you have hind-sight. But giving tips on what to write is very difficult if not impossible. The mechanics can be taught but how do you give ideas? Your ideas really only suit you. Prompts can be a bit generic and any of your experiences are only truly known to you.

I think the best tip is rather vague from the person giving it and that is why it works. Start off by writing what you know. If you write about your feelings, no-one can say that they are wrong, they are yours. (Except all that romance in you folks, no matter what, that is all shite!)

Whenever you begin to write something, it’s weird how other ideas come to you and you take it from there. This very posting has done that for me. I’m now working on a story where Tarzan captures Jimmy Hoffa and Lord Lucan and they have a very interesting ménage a trois. All this man fun cures Tarzan’s chronic constipation!

OK. Onto this weeks stories.

We had three new folks, one old hand and a regular over the last few weeks.

Our topics this week are even more eclectic than usual. We have; a crash, perturbed canines, dread, inanimate will and missing ingredients.

As always our initial comments follow.


The talented Mr Adam Kluger began the week. ‘Butterflies And Lima Beans‘ was published on Monday.

‘Aww, this made me go ‘Humph’ in a positive way.’

‘Adam nailed this one.’

‘The last couple of lines are brilliant.’


Our first new writer was Julia Retkova. We hope that she enjoys her time on the site and continues to send us her work.

Wait‘ was her debute story on Tuesday.

‘I was hooked. I felt sad, very sad for Amanda.’

‘There was something addictive about the madness.’

‘Strange and compelling.’


R.Harlan Smith is adding to his back catalogue very quickly.

All Dogs Are Singers‘ broke the back of the week.

‘Very competent writing.’

‘This writer is proving that he is a very good story teller.’

‘Well structured with a lovely flow.’


Our second newbie was published on Thursday. We extend the same welcome to Jesse Toler.

Tonnage‘ was next up.

‘This had me gripped.’

‘Lots to like here.’

‘The flashbacks added to the style of the piece.’


And we finished on a Friday, we normally do.

Dave Gregory was our last first timer. ‘Fool On The Hill‘ rounded off the week.

‘A great story with brilliant consistency.’

‘The whole story is never told, it is hinted at throughout his observations.’

‘For such a high word count, the story went by and never dragged.’


That’s us for another seven days.

That is seven days of grass growth.

And not the interesting grass.

Sun and rain and growing grass.

My life is Tarzan shit!!



7 thoughts on “Week 177 – Time, Jimmy Hoffa And A Cure For Tarzan’s Constipation

  1. If Tarzan is swinging over my head….well, I would RATHER he be constipated, wouldn’t you? What an image!
    In regards our writing, and as an author not seeing our own mistakes…..I am very grateful to Diane for pointing out some issues in one of my stories, and it was so much better after it was corrected. Great editors can hone in to things that we writers just skim over in our minds because we “know our story”.


    • Thanks Sharon,
      I think that I have left a few considering that a constipated Tarzan is a good thing.
      Regarding Diane, she is a very wise lady!
      And you are right, I think we can all be guilty of filling in our unwritten blanks.
      All the very best.


  2. Behind every Tarzan swings a Jane. Unfortunately, you get feces slinging, face-ripping off Cheetah as well. And what about Boy? What the hell kind of name is that for a kid? Try filling in “Boy of Tarzan” on a job application sometime. As if. Bet Boy hate Tarzan guts bad.


    • Hi Leila,
      A swinging Jane is maybe an idea for a story!
      Johnny Weissmuller, Jock Mahoney, Christopher Lambert all played Tarzan but I preferred Terry Scott in ‘Carry On Up The Jungle’ (His addition to a drawing of a woman was brilliant)
      Oh and I remember Ron Ely although he shouldn’t be forgiven for ‘Doc Savage’.
      Calling your male child ‘Boy’ is quite honest although calling your baby ‘Shut the fuck up’ is probably even more honest.

      Thanks as always Leila, you bring out the worst in me!!!!


  3. For some reason I’m put in mind of a KIngston Trio (?) song (yes I’m old) “swinging through the trees like the Everlys, slipping in a bog off a slimy bog” (could be some mistakes here and there). Don and Phil never seemed like jungle athletes. Side note – vines grow from the ground, not trees, the whole swinging from the trees is bogus.


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