Before Hitting The Ground by Tobias Haglund


”Did you know Leonardo da Vinci was a farmer’s son?”


“He was. Born out of wedlock by a mother who was a farmer.  You can imagine how it must have looked. Fifteen century Italy, born and raised by a single mother, yet he still managed to accomplish those many great things. It really is a great argument that every social class should be given a chance, right?”


“The next Leonardo da Vinci might be raised right now by a single mother.”

“Are you nervous?”


“Look. If you don’t want-”

“I want to. Let’s just talk for a while first.” Kevin sat down on the bed. “Would you? Would you please say something. Just… I wanna hear you talk. It soothes me.”

Martin held Kevin’s hand. “Sure. You were saying about Leonardo… Why? Did you think about the universal geniuses being sexually open-minded?”

“Yes, but actually I thought about the Ninja turtles. That’s how I learned their names. Leonardo, Raphael, Donatello and Michelangelo.”

Martin smiled. “Of course…What did Donatello do?”

“He was the smart one.”

“No. I mean the real one.”

“Ha! Sorry. I don’t know. Sculptor maybe?”

Martin nodded.  They locked their fingers while both looked at their hands. “You think the age of great beauty is gone? What is the next masterpiece that will make us stand in awe? Something that inspires thousands of artists to become artists. We live in such a throw-away culture, you and I. Some of those paintings took two or three years, maybe even longer, to paint. We replaced them with a filter on Instagram. Wouldn’t it be great to live in that age? I mean not for real, because obviously plague, no healthcare and other things, but where the male body was a thing of beauty. Your limbs, your skin and your complexion would be the envy of men. They would want to caress you, kiss you. I want to kiss you… I don’t know. Maybe I romanticize it.”

Kevin leaned his head on Martin’s shoulder. “I think you do.”

“I guess you’re right. It’s just… Every time I see you, I turn off my phone and you… you have to lie to your parents. Tell them you’re seeing who? A girl named Martina? That’s ridiculous. And what’s even more ridiculous is I know it’s necessary. Every time I do something nice for you, you tell them it’s Martina. They would rather have you fall in love with the shadow of me than the actual me. You are beautiful, but if I say so-”

“Martin, please. I don’t want to think about that. It’s making me even more nervous.”

Martin stared into Kevin’s brown eyes. Martin let go of Kevin’s hand and stood up. “No. I’m sorry. Maybe we should forget about the whole thing.”

“No please don’t go!” Kevin lowered his voice. “I’m sorry. I had to. You were leaving me.”

“If it were up to me, we wouldn’t have to sneak. Ah it’s just hopeless. Isn’t it? We are doomed to fail.”  Martin sat down again. He stroked Kevin’s leg. “We can still count the number of times we’ve kissed and recall where. That’s something, isn’t it? Something along the lines of making each moment count. Our moments count. Kinda beautiful, right?”

“It doesn’t have to-”

“That blue jacket you had, remember? You never close it, even though it’s freezing. I used to think you were such an asshole for not closing it.”

Kevin teared up, but smiled. “Yea, you told me.”

“Well you are still an asshole. But I would never in a million years think that your particular opened blue jacket would be perfect for me to hold my arms around your back and pull you closer.”

“That was like… two days ago.”

“Yes. I didn’t know back then. It wouldn’t be such a terrible thing if that was our last kiss.”

“No it wouldn’t. But it wouldn’t be great either.”

“I think every relationship which is doomed to fail has more intensity. Every two persons should meet in a bus going down a cliff, fall in love and have one – only one – special moment. Then they would be saved just before hitting the ground.”

“That would be beautiful.”

“What would be our ground? Your parents finding out? Friends finding out? Everyone at school? Sooner or later they will find out. ‘That brown haired boy with eyes big as oak barrels wants, no, loves to be sodomized. Preferably by several men.’”

“Is that what they said about you?”

“Yes, but I cleaned it up.” Martin stood up again. “You know, after all this – every petty thing – nothing matters and all of this is over. Looking back, do you think we already had our moment? Or do you think we can look forward to one last, great moment?”

“I’d hate it if we already had it. Can’t you understand that?”

“Yea I can. That’s why you’re so nervous. That’s why you brought up Leonardo. But you see, I think we already had it. That’s not great, I know. But it wouldn’t be so bad. Here put your hand in mine again. Look. Don’t they fit perfectly in each other? Like a divine creature made our hands just to fit in each others’. I’m sure it’s bullshit, but wouldn’t it be great to have something like that to believe in? Like our hands found each other, despite all obstacles.”

“That would be great… Is it over then? Just. Over.”

“Yup. It’s done. That’s the ground.”

“Shouldn’t we leave a note?”

Martin put a capsule in Kevin’s hand. “No. It doesn’t matter. Just darkness.”

“How long will it take?”

Kevin put it on his tongue and watched as Martin swallowed his.

“Not long-” Martin held his hand over his chest, coughed and his face reddened. “Kiss me.”

Kevin swallowed his capsule and started crying. “You said, we had our moment.”

“Just. Kiss. Me.”

“What if we’re saved… just before hitting the ground-”


Tobias Haglund

9 thoughts on “Before Hitting The Ground by Tobias Haglund

  1. This is a real change of direction for you Tobbe and the result is a very convincing and emotional piece of writing. I’m glad Ricky was lost between version 1 and version 2 – this story doesn’t need any tricks to stand on its own 🙂 Very well done! Cheers, Nik

    Liked by 1 person

    • Haha thank you. I have so many lame references hidden in my stories I can spare a Ricky Martin-reference here and there 😉 No but all kidding aside, I really shouldn’t. Thank you for pointing it out. I think I did the story an injustice by having it in. Also thank you very much for your kind words. I’m always very emotional, the difficulty lies in getting it down on paper. I’m glad you thought I did it in this story. ATVB my friend


  2. Hi Tobias, I need to ask forgiveness from Vic Smith for quoting, as I am sure it was something that he has previously written about true love only ever being within death as it is then eternal. I think that is as good as a description for this touching tragedy.
    All the very best my friend.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you, Hugh. I appreciate your comment as well as your understanding, which is always great, of my works. You always understand where I’m going with certain ideas and I appreciate it! ATVB my friend


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