I have decided to cut down on my use of the exclamation mark. I have often used it as a shortcut to fake a sense of goodwill that I do not usually feel–or at not least up to the degree implied by an exclamation mark. There’s a stink on an exclamation mark, for me it reeks of perkiness and whatever potion lurks in Kathy Lee Gifford’s coffee cup. (You’ll probably have to be an American of a certain age to get that last bit. If not, lucky day: something to google.)
I am not what you would call a “spunky” human being. I am extremely polite, quiet and greatly dedicated to being “less there” than anyone can imagine. No, backslapping, gladhanding and all around atta-boying and hey-girling are not to be found in the autopsy of my personality. Yet I am smart enough to notice and (shamefully) make use of the difference between “Thank you” and “Thank you!” in emails. Early on I noted the touch of snot that can be applied to the former, vocally, and for me that attitude carries into the visual.
Of course I now totter toward trouble by saying such because many of the readers of this post have received (perhaps) fake exclamation marks from me in the past. This gives us two things to consider: 1.) I say mostly as in often–not always; 2.) Don’t even try to shame me. I so so so know you do the same thing.
I, obviously, believe that an abundance (again, not all) of exclamation marks are used to mask genuine feelings. Let’s say you get an email from the boss, who needs you to work next Saturday. Here we will see the difference between “Great!” and “great” in your reply. The obsequious toady is doomed by sending “Great!” The boss knows, but since you fell on the sword instead of waiting for it to fall on you, so much the better. People with useful imaginations can spin a simple “great” reply into something that radiates hostility and promises swift, untraceable revenge. Punctuation marks are used to effectively communicate our thoughts–but the withholding of an exclamation mark, on occasion, also says something.
But for me to achieve success there is a barn door v. the Cows problem I must overcome. I’ve singled and tripled !!! stuff for so long that I feel that the sudden omission might cause hard feelings. That goddam Editor gave so and so three !!! and I got only one. That bitch!!! People (not you, of course) do get snitty about the smallest, but I will just have to be brave and go forward with my program to protect my insincerity, which, for some of us, is our sincerest quality.
No lack of sincerity in the story slots this week. The Sunday Rerun featured work by a long time friend of the site, Doug Hawley. The Assistant is one of Doug’s very best, and it would be a shame if someone were to keep missing it.
Monday was the site debut of Ann Yuan. Movies Can’t Show What is Like to Live With a Dragon. It is one of those delightful things that messes with the reader and causes words such as “surreal” and “interesting” to pop out in self defense. But after you give it a chance, you find that the piece really is surreal and interesting. Go figure.
Tuesday saw The Brawler by return author Hector Hernandez. We all know people like the MC in this tale, and Hector shines an inner light on the truth of the man who is destined to wind up in the hospital, jail or the morgue because he never alters his plan. Persistence and madness are closely related.
Tiny Squares by Shannon Murdoch marked midweek. Dementia and its effect on the people in the affected person’s orbit is one of the most common topics in submissions. Along with zombies, vampires, Bad Dad/Mom, trending events, and green eyes meeting on a train, it is also one of the most abused topics in submissions. So, the writer is up against it when the subject is Mom at the Home. If that sounds cynical, give yourself a gold star. Yet when this sort of thing is done right it is fantastic, as is the case here. Can’t say what sets it apart because it is impossible to describe–just something you know when you see it.
Rachel Sievers returned Thursday with The Importance of the Ant. There is a fine dry humour in this one that is impossible to resist. And the hell of the thing is I found myself thinking more about Ants than I should for a while after reading it. Then again, after recalling the film Them! it might be a good idea to not forget about the little fiends. Another high mark for Rachel.
Aeris by Zachary Schwartz brought the week to a close. This tale is a magnificent yarn of creepiness and fear. Brilliantly paced and it gives the reader a great foreboding that is a huge win for the writer. The tension sucks you in, like some sort of mystical force with the heart of a black hole.
Thank you for dropping by again this week and we look forward to the next. Personally, I feel braced and I believe that the energy I will save from not using exclamation marks will keen (yes, keen as a verb, or keening, which is a gerund for the Banshee) my senses and increase my productivity. And to anyone who thinks I’m about to set up a lame joke using an exclamation mark as the payoff, well, you sir and/or madam will go away disappointed, although it was considered. No, I will close by sharing the following list that came to me at the dentist office earlier this week.
(But first, be sure to come back next weekend; I imagine Hugh will have something grand for the holiday. My Halloween gift to him, unneeded pressure.)
My Reality TV Ideas. This is cliched thinking at its lowest, but when you are awaiting the chair and the drill, cliched thinking is preferable to panic. Please throw your own suggestions on the pile.
- The Last Meal Diner: Although it would not achieve repeat business, I can see a market for this in the future. Located by Suicide Booths and such. Something to consider.
- The Fame Socialist: Actually more of a jagged rant than a well thought project. It would be a two part show. The first half hour would be spent locating an unknown person the show would make famous, the second half would go after an already too well known fool and attempt to destroy them. The finale would involve the part one person attaining fame by killing the part two person.
- Poken-Hope Nope Nope. An Amine spokes-character for chastity. Highly annoying and ineffective. This would be a public affairs reality show aired on before dawn on Sundays.
- Public Domain House: Tavern for creative works no longer protected by copyright laws. Sort of like one of those 70’s comedies shot on video tape, with Songs lamenting working for Burger King and Hamlet aghast because he is being performed by trained Danish Squirrels. Where one hit wonders and the classics unite as one.
- Film Psychos vs. Reality TV Stars Survivor: The apparently immortal murderers from various teen slasher franchises (Jason, Michael Meyers, Freddie Krueger etc) form a team that goes against the usual suspects from reality TV. Might sound uneven but there’s nothing harder to kill in this world than, say, Scott Baio or Olivia Attwood. Just drop everyone on an island and hope for total destruction.
Our clip involves controlled enthusiasm. I love animals, but some people are just plain too weird to have pets.
Leila
And a very bad joke, which still has value…
literally stories 
Hi Leila
Yes the exclamations could seem like treading into faux excitement. I usually reciprocate them in the same way, but they do exude a sort of friendliness that’s nice.
I try not to over use them in writing fiction. One or two for a story in the narration–there hard to avoid in dialogue or loud noises!
I really liked “the autopsy of my personality.” That’s a catchy phrase–also a great visual. I almost blew that up with an exclamation point. I did feel the excitement so there it is!
Great and engaging post!
Christopher
LikeLike
Hi Leila!
I think the use of exclamation marks can become especially egregious if a person overuses them and totally ignores the other 13 punctuation marks in English, a common sign of the inept writer.
I find myself removing more exclamation marks than I do adding them in.
There have been writers who are effusive and effective users of the exclamation point. (William Carlos Williams being one of them.) But, in general, I believe it is indeed “breaking a rule” to do so, and for good reason.
I think the key thing is to do nothing randomly in writing; if one sticks to the rule of always doing everything for a reason, one will be okay; the trouble comes when it’s done as a reflex or unconsciously: the phrase “Controlling Enthusiasm” is a great term to ponder when thinking about writing in general – there should be ENTHUSIASM for sure, but UNcontrolled enthusiasm equates to madness, and most people don’t want to read very many things written by people who are in a state of madness, whether it’s temporary or permanent.
The ALL CAPS can probably be considered to be, almost, a fifteenth punctuation mark in English.
Alexander Pope was famous for utilizing the all caps technique.
It’s funny how much you can tell about someone from the way they write.
After teaching writing professionally in college for over twenty years, and having an average of 50 students per semester (sometimes much more), and having each student write many things throughout that semester, almost all of which I read, I can estimate that I’ve read various writing at minimum to the tune of many thousands of things by thousands of people, maybe even in the realm of 50,000 different things by around 5,000 different people, just during my teaching years alone.
I think many people are unaware of how much of themselves they give away when writing. Even when they’re holding back, it says volumes.
There should be a reality show where each and every one of us has each and every thought we’ve ever thought written down by a machine and then read back to us at the end of our lives (or after the end of our lives, before Saint Peter points us to the Pearly Gates, or the Lake of Fire)!
Thanks for another wonderful post: as always.
Dale
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hello Dale
You never fail to impress me with you quickness of wit and knowledge. I have yet to catch the slightest sense of uncertainty in your essays, poems, columns, fiction and communication. That too is a desired talent, and to those who already feel the same or would like to, I advise such persons to refer to your weekly Drifter Sunday column, which appears again tomorrow in Saragun Springs.
Thanks again! (had the one leftover)
Leila
LikeLike
Reality TV Ideas (not as good as Liela
Monkey Squirrels of Palm Beach — Critters vie for tidbits from retired golfers in carts.
Too Important for The Living — ChatGPT apps embarrass and revise writers’ stories for publication.
Event Horizon — Black Holes display their secrets to television audiences suspended in space.
It’s Everything — Zoroastrians prevail in inaugural episode as religionists profess over each other’s sermonizing.
Blub You! — Famous authors try unsuccessfully to out lie each other on book jackets.
That’s all I got. It’s Saturday. There’s beer. — gerry
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’ve never figured out how/why the Zoroastrians worshipped Ahuru Mazda (sp) before cars were even invented. Sorry, I’m easlily amused. They do get major play in the Bible as the presumed wise men from the East. I knew an adherent for a period of time who was from Bombay/Mumbai. There may a hundred thousand or more around. As religions go, not bad. I think I had them in my story Interview (with the supreme being).
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hi Doug
Thank you for coming by.
Here’s another “How’s it going?” she asked. We double down for no reason.
Leila
LikeLike
Short answer – I’ve been abducted to God’s Waiting Room/Sunset City and my country is controlled by a modern version of Caligula.
LikeLiked by 1 person
So that’s what happened to Malcom McDowell
LikeLike
I’m more interested in Helen Mirren. Is she still making movies? She was a highlight in Excaliber. Kind of stumpy, but fine.
LikeLike
Hello Gerry
There’s a career waiting for you in television as long as you do not mind losing your soul. The Zoroastrian is an idea with legs, and would shine if you can find a way of incorporating the Squirrels.
Enjoy the beer…
Leila
LikeLike
Thank you Christopher
I almost added an exclamation mark (or point which some must call it) out of muscle memory.
But my thanks are sincere. A high school teacher once said Hemingway never used them. Then someone found one and had to be told he only used such when forced to relate dialogue. I recall getting homework that day because of that fool. The moral: Never try to make the teacher look dumb.
Leila
LikeLike
I try and try not to use them. Current MS had five. I have gone back and taken out three. I reckon these can stay “Stop, police! Stop, get on the ground!” She screamed at him.
I try really hard not to put in more than one in each instance. To me it seems a bit like shouting HEY,HEY,HEY. If the first HEY doesn’t get them the next ones are probably a waste of breath.
This was a fun post as always. Thank you Oh, yes, those animall videos – My skin gets all tight and itchy when I hear animals described as ‘fur babies’ and I see things like ‘my new fur grandbaby.’ I grieve for the poor little creatures, their future most probably holds Halloween costumes and Christmas jumpers. Even if it’s small and white and fluffy at the end of the day a dog is a dog. dd
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hi Diane
You get the exclamation marks right in your books. They probably are best suited for dialogue as you use them. Lately I have felt that my usage (in correspondences, seldom in fiction) is like adding too much spice in cooking. Then the Cry Wolf thing happens. Yet some people can use them very well, our own Hugh and the American comic and writer Lewis Black come to mind.
The sad thing about the pet parodies is how close they are to the truth.
Thanks again
Leila
LikeLiked by 1 person
Good post and roundup. I think I heard an exclamation mark in the punchline of that hilarious broccoli joke. I have a vague idea for a reality show —a screaming contest between journalists and politicians at a dentist who’s out of novocaine.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hi David
I appreciate the reality idea. A cross of Meet the Press and Is it Safe?
I recently watched an episode of Meet the Press from fifty, sixty years. Proxmire was talking about his “Golden Fleece” award for waste. And yet there was no name calling nor were personal insults shared. Lots of pokitical b.s. but it was civilized b.s.
Thanks for coming by. Sorry avout the Cubs but at least they didn’t lose a game seven crusher.
Always next year.
Leila
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hi Leila,
I know that I use exclamation marks too often and your posting has made me consider why.
I reckon it’s hard for me to write sarcasm. You need to hear it, so by using the exclamation mark, this can infer enthusiasm instead. That can be to hide sarcasm…Or maybe not??
The use of the exclamation mark has as many meanings as does the phrase, ‘Fuck off.’ With or without the exclamation mark.
Shit! I’ll need to think on my use of the double question mark next!!!!
To be honest, I never think where I should or shouldn’t put them (! and ??!) they just seem to turn up with very little thought!
Thanks for the Halloween mention (Consider there maybe an exclamation mark at the end of that sentence for whatever reason!)
…My head hurts when I need to think!
Loved the pet adverts but was aware not to laugh at the cat ones as the fiends don’t like me laughing at their kind or me being happy in general!!
Superb as usual!!
Hugh
LikeLike
Hello Hugh
I mentioned your enviable talent for using exclamation points well in my comment to Diane. Lewis Black (barely known here, probably a complete stranger to Scotland), like you, has the knack of using such to create both high humour and malevolent rage. Usually at the same time.
You are smart to never laugh at a Cat when living with the species. No such thing as “laughing with” a Cat either.
Already looking forward to next week! (that one is sincere. I allow myself two per day).
Leila
LikeLike
He exclaimed, but didn’t leave a mark. Although I eschew writing advice, I ignore ! usually. Appropriate after great sex or the end of the world though.
Old news. Reasons for me to quit reading or listening:
Issue for problem (hello Hugh)
At the end of the day unless a time
Any “ize” except fertilize
Tasked with along with verbing and nouning in general
Keep on squirreling in the freak world, mm
LikeLike
Issue means another LS or the Portland Oregonian, or HT featuring Bill.
LikeLike
Hi Doug,
I have no problem in using issue and I have no issue in using problem.
Due to your interaction, I have wondered what the (my) difference is and after much thought, I reckon problem is singular and issue is plural, (I know!!!) so ‘issue’ is easier to say than ‘problems’ as it makes the person that has an issue realise that they have problems in a kinder way.
…I try to be nice…Now and again!!!!!
And yep, I know that makes as much sense as separated scrambled eggs mixed into an omelette. Those eggs would have their problems, or an issue, if we were being kind!
Stay happy and interesting my interesting friend.
I hope that Sharon never has any issue with you, problems, well that is just life…Or should that be the other way around????
Awwww the very best!!!!!!!
Hugh
LikeLike
Hello Hugh and Doug
I have heard issue used in reference to the hell spawn some folks call children. I find that to be a good connection for issue and problem.
Leila
LikeLike
Great week of stories. The exclamation mark is an odd one. Part of my job, sometimes, is to teach this stuff to Chinese students, and they like the exclamation mark because it’s the only one we have to denote a feeling. All the other exclamation marks are simply furniture, to denote a pause, a new topic, a list, etc. all little more than servants to the words around them. An exclamation mark however is the one with the personality, the annoying loud aunt, the friend who arrives drunk at the start of the party, the dude with the big Harley Davidson. In other words, I too don’t like using the exclamation mark, but for the sake of all other punctuation I’m glad it exists.
LikeLike
Hello Paul
Thank you. That is interesting about the students. I imagine the picture languages throughout the world are better at shading emotions than our upside down dotted stick. And it does serve a good purpose–but after a while it can look like someone left the lid off the exclamation mark jar, like a fool undoing the top of the sugar dispenser.
Thanks again
Leila
(brought to you w/o “!”)
LikeLike
Exclamation marks! Ay caramba! I feel the same way about the f word. Used way too much these days. There’s a skit by comedian Victor Borge on pronounced punctuation. Quite creative. Fun reality TV situations!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hello Harrison
I liked Victor, used to perform on all the sixties’ shows and made me smile even though I knew he would stop playing and turn the manuscript “right side up.” He almost saw a hundred years.
Oh yes, profanity, especially in stand up wears out real fast. Pryor was an exception for me because the curse was never the punchline, it was simply the language you might expect to hear from someone raised in a Peoria bordello. “Dice Clay” however had no genius within.
Thanks again (normally three ! Would be used by now–one day at a time)
Leila
LikeLiked by 1 person
LOL I’m writing a novel and one reader read part of my draft and smacked me down for all the exclamation points. I did a find and replace and deleted them and guess what? it doesn’t seem to read any differently to me without them.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hello Guylaine
Thank you for dropping by. And I wish you the best with your novel. It’s good to have feedback from friends.
Leila
LikeLike