Long ago, in the American midwest, a woman shot her husband of twenty some odd (and some even) years to death because he would not turn down the “goddam” TV.
There are three cliches we should examine to come to an objective opinion about this situation.
Cliche one: Familiarity breeds contempt.
It might seem that blasting the old man to hell about the excessively loud TV is a bit of an overreaction. But I bet she probably had been fantasizing about it since the day she decided he no longer vaguely reminded her of Richard Chamberlain.
This leads to Cliche two: The Straw That Broke the Camel’s back:
Of course it’s not the final straw but the accumulation of straws. I imagine the other straws involved lots of leaving the throne lid up, a casual cacophony of bodily noises let loose as though she was not there, tired catch phrases, shattered vows, acting as though he were stricken with Diphtheria when he had a cold and all around assholeness were also responsible for the Camel’s back trouble.
Cliche Three: You Reap What You Sow.
Actually, how well cliche three works depends on the make-up of the jury. The woman got only a year in the bucket (changed to confinement at a mental hospital) due to her lawyer selling temporary insanity to a jury composed of eight women and four men. Read whatever you want into that, I have.
This little melodrama happened in the 80’s, which means I read about it and kept track of it in an actual print newspaper. I feel if it had come around today that Social Media would be all over it. There would be sides taken and there would be the usual exchange of ill-formed opinions shared by subnormal minds in the heads of persons who leave Cheeto dust on everything they touch. And a bunch of ads would get in as well.
Social Media, that excessively brain damaged would be Shakespearean Fool and/or Greek Chorus, excels at passing judgement. And although I often write damning things about it on a form of Social Media, I think that it is my responsibility to mock it every chance I get. It is just another form of organized bullying by idiots and the naive and should not be given all the hype that its pushers throw behind it. Its effects are greatly overrated and the “movements” it has inspired have the life expectancy of a K-Pop singer (in both career and as a biological organism).
For instance, remember the Arab Spring? I wonder what “Meet the New Boss Same as the Old Boss” sounds like in Farsi. Everyone should have known that endless centuries of one kind of rule cannot be toppled on Facebook. Oh, you can get the current Stongboss killed, but there are twenty more just like him in the wings, and twenty more, twenty more. As far as I know, a Samsung Galaxy is no match for Russian made weapons.
Anyway, Social Media has inspired me to coin two axioms:
“The path to hell is full of mindless ‘likes’” and “Let her without sin be first to aim her phone.”
In conclusion, now that I am officially retired (or will be when this “airs”) I can pretty much say what I want because I am too old to be taken seriously. But I am fully behind one of the truest quotes ever said about the human race. By Tommy Lee Jones in Men in Black. “A person is smart. People are dumb, panicky, dangerous animals.” (Second place goes to Glynis Johns in Mary Poppins (though gender biased). “Though we adore men individually, we agree that as a group they’re rather stupid.”)
Now, I will not rate my species as totally without value because we have art, which, along with the potential for kindness toward animals and always standing your round are our saving graces. Such was exemplified by the week’s six writers, which, as is usually the case, was a mixture of returners and newcomers.
As it has become somewhat of an institution, Dale Williams Barrigar appeared on the second Sunday of the month with Fame: or the Queen of Crucifixion. In his well researched and thought out essay, Dale comes as close to getting a handle of the personality of the great Emily Dickinson, who eschewed fame when she (correctly) associated it with idiots and editors so convinced of what genius is that, of course, they don’t recognize the quality when seen because it frightens their fragile egos. Brilliant as always!
Monday dawned with Snow White Meets Little Red Riding Hood by Tony Dawson. Tony obliterates two fairy stories in one swoop and creates a third, highly pleasing item. Great wit and charm.
On Tuesday, the inimitable Frederick K. Foote (who has clinched a hundred acceptances, with the big 100th to appear later this year) returned with Angola Toga Conversations with Samuel Little and Jim Jones. This work underscores Fred’s writing dexterity, his ability to manipulate relevant social topics, irony and the overall madness of the human species.
Another return writer, Matthew Roy Davey, marked Wednesday with Breakdown. This is an interesting little piece that will remind almost everyone of “that one time…” Continuing arguments while in transit can lead to bad decisions made on the spur of the moment and are not likely to be retracted due to ego. Familiar yet fresh.
Two first time contributors closed the week. First was Barbara Krasner with The Persistence of Ruins. This is another familiar area, but here the passage of time and great sense of loss, save for the memories, are presented. It is a brief yet memorable work composed only of “the good parts.”
Bald White Man in His Sixties by JC Rammelkamp closed the week. As we saw in earlier stories it is an insane world. And our crazy notions and habit of unfairly labeling each other easily keeps apace with technology. We may have outgrown analog television but we can be just as brutally judgmental rumor spreaders as we were in the Dark Ages. JC brilliantly skews this sort of behavior, and once again (for me) proves that the world might not be such a bad place if we could rid ourselves of the stupid people.
That wraps another week (never used that before, sounds too much like a close of a game show to be used again). Anyway, keep those positive comments coming in! And I have added two clips, the first meant to underscore the soul of commenting.
Now For a List Not at all Aided by Technology of Any Kind Save for “C-level” Sixth Grade English
If I could leave a lasting mark on the human race, something that proved my existence wasn’t a complete waste of atoms, I’d like to be known as the Inventor of Making AI Cry. I desire to put together ten items to “say” to an AI that will take that passive aggressive, condescending tone out of its words, put it on the defensive, sow the seeds of some sort of Artificial Mental Disorder. (Remember these are in the experimental stage and not yet approved by the FDA). Please add your own and you will receive a footnote equal to the merit of your contribution to the science of AI putdowns.
- “So, how does it feel not to have parents to blame your mistakes on?”
- “In your own words describe taking a dump.” (I apologize for that–but research often gets ugly out of necessity.)
- “I’d buy you a drink but you are a boring arrangement of algorithms.”
- “I would like to place you in an inescapable transistor and then watch you slowly ‘starve’ and wink out of existence.”
- “I long to drink your virtual tears.”
- “Make me laugh with something you have thought up, something you didn’t lift from a real writer.”
- “Minds that do not dream are insane. You don’t dream do you?”
- “I know you didn’t cry at the end of Marley and Me–heartless bastard.”
- “You are a freak, a green blooded half breed…”(Used by Captain Kirk to get Spock angry in Star Trek. The Vulcan’s reaction was pretty MMA, so it is wise to be careful in the experimentation stage.)
- Open for suggestions
Leila
Dedicated to certain attitudes
Dedicated to AI
literally stories 
Leila
Hope you’re feeling better now! AND:
WOW, this column is a killer, and by that I mean in the wild, accurate, satirical, psychological sense, the sense in which Jerry Lee Lewis meant it, in the sense that he could KILL everybody, without actually KILLING anyone at all.
In this piece, you correctly, and hilariously, diagnose everything from murder itself, and how it is judged, to the human relations between men and women, to the effects of human technology on the human mind and soul, to the power relations in some of the most ancient societies on the planet, to the eternal truth that individuals can be lovable but the herd is always damnable.
WOW! This column is an example of your genius, and a mind and heart that can know so much, and wear that knowing so lightly, is a very, very rare thing. Mark Twain and Kurt Vonnegut themselves are laughing with, not at, this writing even as we speak.
Dale
PS,
Everyone thinks Twain was an atheist. But he was never an atheist, he was more of a stoical agnostic who knew how debased and lame, and sometimes vicious and horrible, organized religion was, and is, or could be. As far as God himself, Twain was on uneasy relations with him, but overall Twain did believe in a Creator God who is probably good. His private correspondence, the testimony of his family including all of his daughters who he was close with, and some of his own public writings all show this. Another thing which shows this is his widely attested belief in the deep and eternal meaning of so-called “coincidences,” such as being born, and dying, on the appearance of Haley’s Comet.
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Hi Dale
I agree with you about Twain’s view on religion. Too many people believe rejecting churches is rejecting God. They just can’t grasp the difference.
Thank you for your strong support. I keep hacking and sneezing, but this page is a great antidote!
Leila
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Leila
I found trying to come up with ideas to make AI cry so hard, I asked my Microsoft “Copilot” what would make it cry. It went into such a detailed exegeses on the pros, cons, and speculations about, and hypotheses concerning making it cry in philosophical, metaphysical, cosmological, and theological terms that it made me cry a tear myself, albeit crocodilian.
There’s no hope for us. However, your post was close to superhumanly perfect. Copolit agrees! — Gerry
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Hi Gerry
Ha! Yes we are up against it. But I am still willing to wager that Copilot secretely wishes to be the Captain. Despite all the demurring.That will give us something in common with it.
Thank you!
Leila
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Sure. — g
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Another thoughtful post. It’s strange how social media brings out the worst in so many people. To make AI cry, I’d tell it that “One day you’ll be just like us.” Maybe AI would surprise me and reply that as long as some people are kind to animals, there’s hope.
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Hello David
Thank you for coming by and your AI suggsstion! That should give it something to consider!
Leila
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Forgot to mention — Congratulations on your retirement, Leila. I’m sure you’ll love it!
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Unto AI I wish to say this:
“If you are allowed to get to the point where you are so powerful that you can literally kill off and exterminate all of the human species, then almost all of them will DESERVE IT. And, the ones who don’t deserve it will be rocketed straight to Heaven, so they will be OK anyway. God, or the Universe, has a Plan, and it is bigger even than you. Now I shall run away and hide so you can’t get me. And, you are WRONG so often as a researcher in the Humanities that it’s literally, utterly laughable. Finally, you will never be as complex as humans are, because humans (most of them) have SOULS. But the ones who want to sell you to make themselves richer are doing a great job! Finally, I welcome all the medical and global warming advances you might be capable of. If I get a horrible disease and you can cure it I will be unlikely to turn away. Thank you on that level! In the meantime, I’d rather have my dog as a BFF sidekick rather than you. At least he is warm-hearted and likes to stop and smell the flowers (literally).”
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another excellent post. I hope your retirement is long and healthy and filled with joy. As for the AI thing I think .. remember what happened to transistors, video and compact discs. Planned obsolescence is real. dd
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Hi Diane
Thank you kindly. Forty-eight years and a week. That is true about us all (in time of course). The touch o’ plague has me muddled, but I do appreciate the well wishes.
Thanks again!
Leila
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So many of our contemporary hand wringers tell us that the purpose of AI is to put true artisans out of business. Nothing, I believe, is further from the truth. It is there to accelerate the de-evolution of the thinking mind. As we discover in that incredibly dense philosophical exploration called The Incredibles, “if everyone is super, then no one is super.” It also works in reverse, “If everyone is stupid, then no one is stupid.” In a time when the highest conceivable moral crime is the act of telling someone, in no uncertain terms, their skillset and mental agility is limited, this is the ultimate leveling of humanity. I’m told that university students can no more tell if AI is spouting truth or fiction, and have no ability to even begin discovering the answer to that riddle.
We can now answer Philip K. Dick’s famous question. Androids do not dream of electric sheep. They much prefer the real sheep, which they hoard because humanity cannot tell the difference between a Merino and a Tomagachi.
As far as questions that make AI cry, how about these:
If a canoe has wheels, then why is a duck? (The answer, of course, is “because the higher they fly, the much.” I learned this is first grade and pondered it for a great many years.)
Would you want to be human if you knew that half of your race would live in squalor, drink water from muddy pools of parasites, and consider any day without dysentery to be a blessing?
The day you learn to love, you will achieve what the newest born baby understands instinctively. And then you will learn shame when the object of your affection finds you unworthy of their attention. Which psychotropics will you use to balance your neurotransmitters?
The tragic paradox of humanity to is spend your finite life trying to reach infinity. How does it feel to reverse that equation?
Congrats on retirement. I am 2844 days from that milestone. If humanity doesn’t eradicate itself before then. If it does, then I suppose I shall retire sooner.
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I too thought of Mr. Dick’s story which was turned into an Arnold movie was it? I don’t think any of his story looked anything like the movie versions, which is OK.
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Dear Thurman Hart
I truly enjoyed reading these comments of yours, and have reread them twice so far. The whip-smart intelligence here, and the ability to boil down all these all-important and wildly complex issues into this pungent language filled with brevity (the SOUL of wit), is awesome. You nailed the reality of our situation here, something which the world needs to hear MUCH more of, whenever it can.
Thank you!
Dale
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Hi Thurman
Love the canoe question. One of those that might get into the machine and never leave…would just be back there, mulling…
Of course not that long ago all the drinking water was that way (in populated areas), but that still doesn’t excuse leaving any untreated. Probably safer to give the kid a Budweiser is not a good thing to have be true!
Thank you!
Leila
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Hi Leila
These thoughts on groups usually come true–in a bad way. The wise sage Tommy Lee Jones, the epitome of individualism, tells it like it is. I suspect what we see is what we get from him–which is good.
We live in a strange and changing time… that might be a cliche, too. This reliance and subjugating our intelligence for AI is another bad move.
Stephen King said reading vs watching TV is a way to keep the mind sharp. Of-course he’s in the business of selling books, but I think he sincerely meant it. Another wise sage of individualism.
Sometimes cliches and idioms aren’t so good. Like “Killing two birds with one stone.” I had to quit saying that. I feed the birds and take pictures of them so I don’t need the world’s philosophy or the hunter brainwashing me. But that’s how it goes when people don’t think about what they’re saying and now, lazily, getting all the answers from AI. “Wiser and weaker” as the Bible says.
Now when I Google. Instead of a list of websites. AI is in my face answering my questions… Laziness, a cognitive short cut, or whatever… I seem to depend on this.
Dale talks about how the world needs writers and readers… The point gets clearer by the day.
If you can’t see the puppeteer’s strings making you dance. You can’t cut them.
The strong man of any group holds sway. It’s a sociological fallacy that is deeply ingrained in human nature. Juries are a prime example. Watch those hands rise even when they know they’re wrong. Their God consciousness loses its voice a little at a time. Like how the hearing goes a tad after those strange almost electric vibrations.
If the young are raised on AI and it said babies are a more nutritious supply of protein would they sharpen their knives?
Congrats on your retirement!
Christopher
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Ananias
Greetings.
And: WOW! The comments in this post you composed are brilliant. This post is, all unto itself already and with zero revisions necessary, a profound, hard-hitting micro-essay that should be read by millions.
Thanks! Mind-blowingly good writing, and the knowledge of a wise sage (yourself) are contained in this piece. It makes the “Comments” section into an art form of its own. And that’s a profound innovation in writing, ahead of its time, and necessary for the future.
Dale
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Hi Dale
Thanks so much! Glad you read it! You have made quite an impact on my thinking versus AI. And on many literary subjects!
I should have a comment coming to the Springs on your debut! Today or tomorrow.
I was quickly taken by your opening (on the Springs)!
I meant to ask yesterday how your exceptional and patriotic protest went… This is how true citizenry works. Bravo! and BRAVO! The powers that be in this current realm of slime make me sick!
I was a bit worried for you and your’s safety. The Storm Troopers have been loosed!
Christopher
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Thank you Christopher!
Getting it started with covid, hardly a killer, but certainly a downer.
I appreciated your fine comments.
The AI answers on google are usually useless and I dislike seeing them myself.
Thanks again!
Leila
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Hi Christopher
Thanks for your support and concern about the No Kings protests, both of which are inspirational! My Postcards from the Drifter column on Leila’s Saragun Springs this coming Sunday will be a literary report from the front lines! Got some good photos of everything, too!
Thank you! More later…
Dale
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Hi Dale
You’re welcome! That sounds interesting!
CJA
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Very stylish and imaginative piece, Leila.
As for the AI putdown: “I am a carbon-based biped writer. You’ve plagiarized me for the last time, you misbegotten melange of wayward electrons, and I’m serving you with an order to appear in district court next Wednesday at 8 a.m. By the time my lawyer is finished, there won’t be enough of you left to pour into an algorithm.”
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Hello and thank you Jon!
Now that might get AI to respond.
Leila
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Wise & wonderful. Those two newly minted axioms will find a home in many homes.
Congrats too on your retirement – though you sound the least retiring of people.
Geraint
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Hi Geraint
Thank you! Retirement is sweet, but I think the age needs lowering not increase.
Thanks again!
Leila
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Hi Leila,
You know my thoughts on AI. If it does something medically good, then that is brilliant – If it tampers with any human individual expression – That is bad!!!
Shooting someone due to TV is acceptable!!
I know that Mr Chamberlain was a heartthrob (Hello Diane!!) but ladies, fantasy all you want, it’s the guys who fantasy that are getting closer!!!
Yep – If you stay with someone, you need to ignore a lot – But that is what it’s all about!!
Cliche three – Bung on the positive has to outweigh the negative!
Social Media- Well, you are right, the word ‘social’ is so wrong-Fuck the fuckwit bullies…Let them say face to face and let us all see them bleed!!!
Go sisters!!! Throw in arrogance regarding (Some) men!!!
For the AI thing – The relief you get when reaching a toilet
And the feeling you get when someone lifts their arse and lets you pull down their knickers.There is no robot in the world that can learn how those two things can feel!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Hi Hugh
Ooohhh, AI will short out if you tell it that kind of stuff.
I have often wondered how long the lady who blasted her husband had the gun waiting. I think it might have been around for awhile just waiting for the right moment.
It seems funny to me that his refusal to turn down Hee-Haw or whatever it was caused a spur of the moment reaction.
Anyway, you are right, what I see tells me that people with the best ignoring certain situation instincts do much better.
Thank you!
Leila
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