Sunday Whoever

This week we have another real treat when we take a look into the mind and deep thoughts of one of the founding editors of the site. The creator of Stormcrow – when are we getting another one everyone cries! – We always knew he was was a lovely person (in spite of his rugby preferences – but then he doesn’t have much choice given the land of his birth) he’s a great writer and just all round top bloke. Ladies and Gents and I give you Mr Nik Eveleigh.

Questions:
– Could you write a story with purple or lilac as the main story line?

Yes. Off the top of my head it would be dystopian and there’d be some sort of lilac sky that was caused by some weird chemical experiment. If it stayed lilac all was well, but as soon as it turned purple…

– Bubble baths…Why?

Well if you don’t have bubbles it’s more obvious if you wee in it. I’m not much of a bath man but occasionally after some sort of stupidly long mountain run they are the greatest thing ever invented.

– Best decade for music?

I love music from all decades and still try to remain pretty current, but if my head’s on the block I’d have to go the eighties as those were my 7-17 years and so hold the greatest musical memories.

– Best decade for films?

I’m going to go eighties again simply because there were so many films from that period that I look back on with incredible fondness probably for similar reasons to the music.

– What is the point of a point?

It’s the bit that stops it from being pointless.

– ‘The Exorcist’ – Hilarious or scary?

I think if I watched it now I’d find it hilarious, but I’ve only seen it once and it was at a midnight showing at the movie theatre in Swansea – so to see it on the giant screen with great sound made it pretty scary. Not as scary as walking up the Kingsway in Swansea after dark granted, but still scary.

– Would you ever try a cheese and jam sandwich?? (Any red jam!)

My wife and both my kids are very happy with a cheese and jam sandwich combo and I’ll admit to not only having tried one but also to having enjoyed it. While we’re on polarising combos peanut butter and mustard really shouldn’t work but it does.

– Why?

Is the 25th letter of the alphabet and never turns up when I need it to in Scrabble.

– Red or White?

Red – in both wine and rugby jerseys.

– What does a bird in the hand really do? (If he answers shite on your wrist, I’ll be very disappointed!)

Well first of all it warms the palm on a cold morning. Also, if you get the grip just right you can feel a tiny heartbeat fluttering against your fingers, filling you with an almost godlike sense of life or death power before you lob it into the bush with the other one.

– Best song you have heard from 1986?

Impossible to pick one so I’m going to choose 4 for different reasons:

• The Way It Is – Bruce Hornsby and the Range – it’s just a magnificent piece of songwriting and playing
• Graceland – Paul Simon – has extra resonance for me today because of the South African connection but a song I’ve always loved
• No One Is To Blame – Howard Jones – beautiful little song from a fine Welshman that I still play an acoustic guitar version of most times I pick up a guitar
• Radio Musicola – Nik Kershaw – My long time musical hero. The opening two chords still give me goosebumps and I can attest to the fact it still sounds incredible live almost 40 years later

– Greatest 1970’s Movie

The Sting. It’s perfect. And it’s from the year I was born.

Butch Cassidy and The Sundance Kid would have given it a run for me but that was I think late sixties.

– Trump, what does that mean?

Covfefe

– What topic(s) would you not take on?

That’s a tricky one. Anything related to child abuse strikes me immediately as being something I couldn’t write about. I can’t recall a moment where I’ve had an idea and then not written about it due to the topic so maybe it’s a challenge I’m yet to face.

– What in your opinion is the best line you’ve written?

Ahh there are so many (haha – I suspect the LS editors know me well enough to know I’m taking the piss).

I think “Other than dying, there aren’t too many things I recall about my sixth birthday.” which opens A Single Grain Of Salt is as good a start to a piece as I’ve ever come up with.

– Would you write what you would consider shite for money?

Absolutely. Even if it’s shite I reckon I’d be up for the challenge of making it the least shite I could all the while consoled by the kerching of coins.

– Will you ever go Woke with your writing and use pronoun / non-descript characters and explore sensitive issues in an understanding and sensitive way?

I think it’s fairly unlikely. I’m a live and let live kind of a guy to be honest but if I was a betting man it’s far more likely that I’d poke fun at pronouns when writing about fish or aliens or something (I wrote something in the past about the fact that waiters and waitresses were no longer a thing in South Africa and everyone was a waitron – which to me sounded like a robot and made me laugh and I suspect pronouns have the same power).

– Type something surprising.

The English rugby team are not my least favourite rugby team.

– Do you see something different in a mirror that others don’t when they look at you?

I hope so as I’m looking particularly old this week.

– The future – Bleak or hopeful?

Hopeful. Or as hope filled as an old cynic can be. I’ve got kids – there’s no time to give up hope.

– What would you like to like as you hate that you hate it?

Small talk.

– Records? Tapes? Or CDs?

Bit of a moot point now as I’ve signed my life and soul away to Spotify but it’s got to be vinyl.

-What genre you don’t write in would you like to try?

I’d love to have a crack at crime fiction because it’s a genre I enjoy reading and watching – and maybe I’ve managed to absorb some of Diane’s magic over the years!

-Bonus question (worth double points): What percentage of their time do Dogs spend thinking about food?

61%. The other 39% they are dreaming about it.

-Who was your English teacher and did she know about your writing ambitions.

Can’t recall names but they were all crap. I have no doubt that if I’d had better English teachers at school I would have gone on to do an English degree and maybe a creative writing masters. Sadly, my teachers were of the “creative writing is for babies – you need to grow up and do real English” variety and so my ambitions were never noted or supported. I looked back over some old school books recently and there’s a point where I was getting top marks consistently for stories and then almost an overnight shift to getting middle of the road grades because not only was I being creative I was doing it through the very childish medium of fantasy, sci-fi and humour. Makes me quite sad looking back.

-How long after you left school was it before you wrote anything aimed at publication

A very long time! I had a period of unemployment in my mid twenties where I did a bit of writing but there was never any thought of publishing (probably coz I never finished anything). I wrote Quiz Night which Hugh and Diane may remember from the Shortbread Stories days and that was my first stab. I would have been about 37 by then I think.

-If you have an idea for a story in the middle of the supermarket what action do you take?

Tap some notes into my iPhone and swear at my fumbling fat fingered predictive text mess.

-Do you find ideas come to you randomly or only when you sit down to write.

Almost always randomly. I do get ideas within stories while I’m sat down to write that occur as part of the process but generally I’m a random moment of inspiration guy. Good example was Henry Spiller – heard a news story about a scientist proving that with enough pressure you could make diamonds out of anything, I was having a bad work day…and so it goes.

-Have you ever been on a writing retreat and if so how was it?

No, but I have regularly retreated from writing with mixed success.

– What is the worst film version of a book that you’ve seen?

Ooh that’s a tricky one – I always forget which films were books first! Off the top of my head probably Jack Reacher given the book character is somewhat more lanky than Mr Cruise.

– What invention has been the downfall of the 20 / 21st century?

Coffee pods and influencers.

– How do you get kids to read?

Our kids have always read (although these days they are much more likely to go the audiobook route) but I think the trick as to why they did is because we read to them from birth and they almost never saw either of us without a book on the go. Read to them, show that you take pleasure from reading, fill your house with books and make friends with your library.

– If you had no bottle opener, how would you open a beer?

I’d ask my wife – she’s a South African boeremaisie and would undoubtedly “maak ‘n plan”

– What topic(s) would you not take on?

This question as I’ve already answered it.

– How many friends and family ask how your writing is going?

Quite a few are interested but the question is never “How is it going?” these days, it’s much more “When are you doing another Stormcrow?” which is only to be expected given my lengthy hiatus. I’m secretly thrilled of course that people are actually interested!

-Has anything you have written told you something about yourself you did not know (good or bad)?

I think in broad terms writing has taught me that I like to be silly more than I realise – and that I’m far more self conscious in real life than I am through the written word. 

-Do you regret having a certain item published?

No. That said, my various blogs are full of absolute shit with the occasional gem and I could do with cleaning up.

-Do you have a work that has been repeatedly rejected that still means a lot to you?

I’ve been incredibly fortunate to have had very few writing rejections but while I’m willing to accept that in part it’s because I’m ok at this writing stuff, it’s actually more to do with playing it safe and not really putting my work out as widely as I perhaps should have. Undoubtedly the fear of rejection plays a part in that decision.

– What is your motto?

Never let a lack of knowledge get in the way of a good opinion.

– What is the thing that you genuinely don’t give a fuck about?

The Kardshians.

– What is the weirdest thing that you enjoy?

Hmm, well I’ve admitted to peanut butter and mustard and I have been known to run all day over mountains for fun… I quite like the washing up.

– What song are you embarrassed to like?

Diamond Lights by Glenn Hoddle and Chris Waddle

-Green or Black olives?

Green.

– Name a book that most rave about that you hate.

The Bible.

– Who was the least interesting Beatle?

John Lennon. He was an incredible talent gone too soon but so much of his life has been overanalysed and it’s made me far more curious about Paul, George and Ringo.

– Name a story that you have read on this site that you wish you had written.

Impossible question – there is simply too much talent on display to choose. Oh wait, maybe the A Lost Cause series by Adam Kluger so I could have made someone else handle the tricky formatting haha!

– Would you try a cheese and jam (Must be red) sandwich?

We’ve been here before…I’m eating one now as my long winded answers have spilled over into lunchtime.

– What can you never have enough of?

Time.

– What food / drink makes you grue?

Any fruit or veg that’s floury – apples and tomatoes are the worst.

– Why do we eat a bull and not a panda?

Because if we ate all the pandas the internet meme factory would suffer irreparable harm.

– Families, a blessing or a curse?

A blessing in my case.

– Sugar or salt?

Salt

– Most overrated writer ever?

I genuinely can’t name someone. There are easy targets out there that people latch on to – Dan Brown, James Patterson, JK Rowling, even Stephen King – but they all wrote things that millions of people read and loved. I know Haruki Marukami comes in for a lot of stick and I’m terrified that one day I’m going to have a moment where I suddenly think “Shit! They were right all along! It’s all just nonsense” – but for now I absolutely love the guy!

– Would the slaughter of the British royal family generate more or less income?

Depends on the TV and advertising rights I suspect.

and, a late comer–What does Being Welsh Mean???

It means you belong to a select group of mostly lovely people, you can genuinely relate to hiraeth and you’re never more than two steps away from a cwtch.