Week 420 – Sorry Sally But That Will Always Be Embarrassing, A Nun’s Pocket Of Foreskin And Supermarket Brain-Stormers Wanting Their Hidden Cake And Eating It! By Hugh Cron

I have so many things floating about my head for this posting.

You may not have noticed but I do, in most of my posts, try and get in some writing context.

…We may need to come to that! And if I do, I’ll probably be dramatic!!

I ‘said’ to Leila early on this week, that I’d have to use the word ‘Aloof’, so in saying that, I have!

Was that a prompt?

Prompts in writing can be good. (Yooooooou Fucking beauty!!!! – I told you I’d be dramatic!)

We were in a group called ‘Shortbread’ Me, Diane, Adam, Nik, Tobias, James McEwan, Vic Smith (Haven’t seen him for a while) Des Clark, Anthony Wobbe, Sam Kandji and the most lovely woman in the world, June Griffin! Before I joined, there were prompts. I can remember reading a lot of the back stories about a Christmas Bauble. Not sure, but I think it was Mr McEwan who wrote something quite special. (Diane can you help me out?)

In a way, it is interesting to read folks’ take on a prompt, but for me, it is a wee bit structured.

Okay, I will admit, I am shit at prompts as I don’t have enough of an imagination.

So when I am given a writing instruction (YEEEHAAAAHHH – Writing context oh yeah!!) I sort of clam up. I’m like a virgin’s genitalia, my inspiration is painted on, not used!!!

Next thing is, Leila got a bit pissed off this week and I can’t blame her as someone asked for feedback after the fact. We send a rejection and some folks ask what was wrong. (YOU BEAUTY!!!!!!!!!!!!! ANOTHER WRITING ISSUE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I’d like to thank god, my gym teacher who was very gentle, mother teresa who didn’t want the tips she was given by the lepers and I’d like to slap someone. What the fuck, The Oscars have influenced and I’ve been inspired by them! Did you notice?)

We are really nice folks, well Diane and Leila are. So even with the two lovely ladies, it’s a bit difficult to go back after the fact and try and write something positive. We’ve said no, so do you really want to know why?

In the words of the great Kenny Dalgliesh, ‘Mibees aye, mibees naw’

When we read the stories, we are looking to make a decision, so the positives and negatives are what we use. As soon as it is obvious that one out-weighs the other, that is what becomes the focus. The point is, being asked after the fact, on a refusal, we probably hadn’t really thought about the positives. If we are asked for feedback initially, then we will focus on both and use the positives as a balance for the feedback.

Of course, it is different if we are close to saying yes and there is maybe one section that we feel needs a little work, we will then nudge and prompt.

Another thing that came up a few weeks back was categorisation. This normally doesn’t bother me much except for humour. Unless your humour is very dark / sarcastic or ironic, it is maybe best to label your story as ‘General’. No one will slate you if they get a laugh out of it. But if you do state that it is humour, the reader, not laughing, will go against you. I kid you not, we had one person who claimed that they were hysterical. They were as funny as….(Add your own lines in here ironically. I have deleted twelve examples as they are far too dark and as unfunny as that person was!) I know that I have mentioned all this before but what happened the other week was someone decided to send us a story and they labelled it as erotic fiction. When we read the content it was about incestuous rape. I think that we can safely say that the categorisation was ever so slightly wrong!

Okay onto this week’s stories.

Two new folks, two of our editors and a returner.

We started off with our wonderful fellow editor, Leila Allison.

‘Ping’s Complaint’ was story number one hundred and twenty one for Leila!

‘Great stuff!’

‘Mind boggling, that’s what this is.’

‘I love the idea of a Paisley sky – Or do I?’

On Tuesday we welcomed our first new writer R.P. Singletary with, ‘No Boy No Tie.’

‘Sincere, sad and not too sweet.’

‘I like the honesty woven into the story.’

‘Poignant and emotional.’

Our second newbie was next up on Wednesday.

We extend the same welcome to Sam Mueller and we hope to see more work from both of them.

‘The Magician Of Sixth Avenue’ broke the back of the week.

‘Haunting, weird and strange.’

‘The ‘Gummy holes’ eye thing has stuck with me.’

‘I was quite enthralled by this.’

On Thursday we had Michael Ventimiglia who was back for the second time with, ‘Black Flowers.’

‘Very powerful.’

‘So many try this sort of thing but push it to a dirge…Not here though’

‘Restrained and melancholy.’

And I was up on Friday with Baara.

I’d like to explain something about the title. I know this is becoming boring and I have mentioned this on many an occasion, I am more than useless when it comes to titles. The odd one or two are okay but I struggle with most of them. When I wrote the story, I wanted some sort of deity reference which had something to do with fire. I will also add, I had a few whiskys down me. I am sure that I found either a Pagan or Roman God called Baara who had something to do with fire. But when I went to set the image, I found fuck all with that reference. So either the whisky told me pish and I listened, (That has happened before) or Wikipedia is having a bit of a laugh!!

I’m hoping that Mick Bloor may be able to enlighten me!!!

Usual ending folks.

Please keep the comments coming.

And we now have a Sunday slot for work that we would consider more of an essay (Up to a thousand words – See Mick’s posting last Sunday as an example)

We will also still take a Sunday Re-Run, if anyone has the inclination.

As an aside, the lovely wee wummin from my local shop was telling me that there is an idea being considered for shops and that is to ‘hide’ the booze like they ‘hide’ the cigarettes. What a pile of horse-shit! Later on in the year, it will become illegal for shops to display unhealthy foods at the front of their aisles and a whole lot more restrictions on where they can display certain items. Another pile of pish! If you want something and it is being sold in a shop, you will find it and buy it. Putting it around a fucking corner won’t deter! Hiding fags doesn’t matter. Covering up booze – Ditto!

Instead of paying fuckwits to come up with these mad proposals and agreeing with the government when these ideas become law, why don’t they give the punter what they would save as savings in their shopping preferences!

Just to finish.

This guy must be considered as doing one of the worst versions of a great song.

How this was allowed to be broadcast is beyond me.

Get the cotton wool ready as your ears will bleed!

Hugh

Hello – Yes, Hugh James wrote a lovely story for the Christmas Bauble prompt, I think it was something about a woman – the-lady-in-the-bauble- they can hide the booze all they like – I will find it – I will!! dd

Image: Pixabay.com – a shelf of bottles of alcohol