Week 288 – Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychyrndrobwillantysiliogogogoch, Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia And Pneumonoultramicroscopicsicicovolcanoconiosis.

(Diane, I’m sure you are bored into distraction by my predictable childishness!!)

Well here we are at Week 288.

On last weeks post, I promised Diane that I would cut the title down to four words.

I, being a total nipple end had a look at the longest word in the English language and I found it to be the chemical name for a Super Protein called Titin at around one hundred and ninety thousand letters. What a piece of nonsense, surely there has to be an alternative, could I suggest we just use Titin. Who the fuck would give up the three hours of their life that would be needed to say it?

Who am I kidding. There will be some Virgin / Geek / Vegan who could rattle it off to impress their friends, otherwise known as no-one.

That place in Wales pales into insignificance. I wonder if Nik can pronounce it?

Is that a racial stereotypical question?

Probably – Just because you’re Welsh doesn’t mean that you should be able to pronounce a ridiculously long word.

I myself haven’t a fear of long words, I just can’t be arsed trying to say them. But in doing some research I found out that there is a genuine phobia.

Ironically the word for fear of long words is a very long word. I’ve typed the fecking thing once and I’m not doing it again.

From long words to long pieces of text pish, or should that be pish text? No matter, you get the idea! That happens, mainly in these postings.

I had an old biology teacher who advised us on essay type questions. He stated that if you haven’t got a clue, waffle on for as long as you could and be as vague and as obscure as possible. His thinking was that the marker may get bored reading or be a bit worried that they didn’t understand what you were saying and would give you a mark or two anyway. On my first mock exam that he gave, I tried this and he called me out on it. He congratulated me on my inventiveness and him not understanding a word of my ramblings but questioned my intelligence on doing this to the person who had given me this idea in the first place.

The reason I mention this is it may work for a point in an academical question but it sure as hell doesn’t work in a story of under a thousand words. The story can be vague, thought provoking and open but the words in themselves really do need to make some sort of sense.

Okay on to this weeks stories.

We have no less than three new writers, a site legend and me.

The usual welcome to all our débutantes.

We hope that they have fun on the site and we want to see more of their work.

Our topics this week include; visions, enhanced smells, a meeting, a snapshot and reminiscing.

As always our initial comments follow.

First up was the wonderful Leila Allison.

I’ve been trying to count the number of stories that she has had up until now but to be honest, it’s a bit difficult since the site has been altered. I’m quite sure she’ll keep me right.

By my calculations this is Leila’s sixty eighth story. That in itself is a feat but we know that she has many more coming up. And on-top of that, Leila has done something that no-one will ever do. Those sixty eight stories and the others that are scheduled are all in a continual run of acceptances. Only two other writers have a run of any significance and that is Adam West with eleven and Nik Eveleigh with twenty six. So maybe only Nik has a chance. If he has another fifty or so gems, he may be able to catch up with her!

Anyhow – Leila was published on Monday with ‘Peeving Pandora The Pantrydraft A Feeble Fable Of The Fantasmagorical By Miss Renfield Stoker-Belle Noted Supernaturalist.’

‘I enjoyed the comment on truth. It does get confusing with belief when you think on it.’

‘This really did make me chuckle.’

‘The bit about Pegasus knocking the box over was inspired.’

I was honoured to be published on Tuesday with ‘Bosco.’

I’ve written a few horrors but I would’ve loved to have done a lot more. Horror was my first love when I started reading. The problem is that there is more horror in the real world than there ever could be in the fictional world. And most of what you can think on has been thought on many times before.

As always, a big thanks has to go to Diane and Nik.

Three newsters in a row.

First up with ‘Samaritan‘ was Paul Blaney.

He broke the back of the week with hopefully, his first of many stories for us.

‘Well this was rather dark and unpleasant, I liked that.’

‘An interesting tale where the MC comes across as a complete bastard.’

‘A really thought provoking ending that should leave something with the reader.’

Next was Zach Murray, he was published on Thursday with, ‘A Fair Amount Of Ghosts.’

‘I wanted there to be more. That’s always a good thing!’

‘You get immersed into this.’

‘I like the thought of the wind being an old soul.’

And as always, Friday completed the week.

Adam Dorsheimer finished us off with, ‘The Travelling Circus.’

‘Was the circus a manifestation of death and had his old ailment came back? There was a bit of mystique to this that I enjoyed thinking on.’

‘His dislike of life was a consideration.’

‘It’s always good to be left with something to ponder!’

That’s us for another week.

Miss Anderson and Saturday’s regular reader knows what I’m going to say next.

Keep the comments coming – Please!

And a million invisible imaginative pounds to anyone who takes some shyness medication to be able to type a few words on why they won’t comment. (I’ll even take a ‘Fuck off’!!)

And if anyone would like a go at the Re-run, just pick an older story that you’ve enjoyed, write a spiel or an introduction and throw in a few questions for the author. We’ll publish exactly what you send us.

Just to finish off, I need to explain about the last word in the title of this post. I was inspired by my last holiday. It was a disaster. There was me in Hawaii inhaling a volcano and lo and behold, I got a disease that wasn’t leprosy.

I know that leprosy isn’t a joking matter so I’d like to tell you something that you may not be aware of – Male lepers are very generous towards ladies of the night. They always let them keep the tip.

Hugh

Raphael Frey / CC BY-SA (https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0)

See – see what you’ve done now, are you happy now – are you? sheeesh. You won’t like it if I come over there young man!!

~Anyway – It may interest you to know that I can say that – so there. (makes childish raspberry farty noise and runs away.)